Submissives get off on giving away their control over themselves: on being directed and compelled, on following orders and losing agency. Some like to do this through bondage and physical restriction; some by feeling psychologically subservient to a dominant partner; some through pain play. Many like a combination of these things. The key to figuring out a fantastic D/s dynamic is communication--make sure both sides of the equation are getting what they want and what they need, and that everyone is well aware of safewords and limits.
Some people enjoy having dominance and submission as part of their everyday relationship, while others prefer keeping it in the bedroom. Either of these kink styles is fine - just so long as everyone is on the same page.
Slaves are submissives who totally give all control over to their Master/Mistress. The main difference from other submissives is that they hand over control of all their life, 24/7 to their top. There can be pre-agreed exceptions to this rule. For the purposes of work for example but by vast majority a slave hands over all decision making to their Dom.
BDSM slaves are happiest when serving a Dominant. They tend to not have limits with their Master/Mistress. This is because their dynamic is very close. The Dominant knows his/her slaves limits and keeps to them.
This is a very unique relationship and is one to build up to. Slaves start out as submissives first and after time become a slave. Slaves, even more so than submissives, tend to wear some kind of symbol of their BDSM slave status. This can be a collar or a piece of jewellery that symbolises their belonging to their Dominant.
Slaves give complete trust to their Dominant, freeing their minds from worry and responsibility. It is a very unique roll and one that only certain submissives can take on.
A submissive likes to be controlled, relishing someone else taking responsibility away from them. Some are subservient and submit willingly. Others are brattier and put up a fight. There are also submissives who will fight sometimes and be subservient at others.
Submission can be confined to the bedroom or only taken out to BDSM and Fetish clubs and dungeons or it can used in all kinds of day to day situations. Some submissives chose to be subservient in all their roles, others take on submission to escape the responsibilities of work and family life.
Submissives let someone else take control. They may have a list of rules to abide by set by their Dom/Domme. If rules are broken then there will be punishments too as well as rewards for good behaviour. Some submissives love to be naughty and punished, others want to be good and strive to do their best and be rewarded. Others will want a mix of the two.
It isn’t all about humiliation and degradation for a submissive, unlike other bottoms they are more concerned with being subservient and giving over control to another person.
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No matter your role — Dom, sub, switch, or still figuring it out — this group is your space to connect, ask questions, and share experiences. Let’s talk about dynamics, power shifts, and what it really means to give or take control.