Dildo Or Dildon’t #7 | UberKinky Review

For the seventh instalment of her ongoing cross-website sex toy review series, writer Abi Brown looks at UberKinky. But can this website claim to be 'the LoveHoney of BDSM'?

 

“The UK’s leading supplier of BDSM gear & bondage toys"

There are a few things that UberKinky gets very right. Their customer service has always been excellent. Moreover, they have reasonable prices. I find myself beset by the sceptical eye of the old hand every time I go and look at their stuff, though.  After a while, kink shopping starts to turn into a vicious cycle. You reach a point where everything looks flimsy and plasticated unless it’s made by the most serious people imaginable.

The next thing you know you’re not buying anything that didn’t come from some obscure indie retailer with a stall at your local fetish fair. I’m all for supporting small businesses, of course, but there are benefits to mass production. One of those benefits is range. For this UberKinky review, I’ve scoured their site top to bottom. Here are the best things I think it has to offer you.

UberKinky offers a lot of fun ben wa balls. 

UberKinky has got Balls

I’m a big fan of ben wa balls. UberKinky has something I’ve not seen anywhere else. The Swan Clutch, which claims to train your pelvic floor muscles by giving you better vibrations and greater pleasure the harder you squeeze.
 

UberKinky sucks - in a good way

I don’t know if any of you have ever tried a vacuum bed, but I tried one belonging to a friend of mine a few times. It’s a fascinating experience. They’re not cheap, but if they’re your thing, they’re well worth a shot. They're also available at UberKinky. The impact play range offered at UberKinky is decent but not exhaustive. They’ve covered all the bases for most newbies. But those of us on the lookout for the very best quality will want to look elsewhere. The same goes for the selection of restraints available on UberKinky.

The stuff UberKinky really seem to specialise in is genital torture - CBT - and male chastity. As a female sub, I have very little expertise in this area. UberKinky certainly boasts a wide range of gear at a lot of price points.

The Dear Abi Seal Of Approval

I’m giving UberKinky three out of five stars. They’re trying, indeed - and they quite often succeed. But there are some serious drawbacks to their approach. They’re terrible on inclusivity (everything is gendered as hell). Furthermore, their plus-size fetish wear range consists of one crappy costume in a not-at-all-plus size 14-16. Plus at the time of writing, it was out of stock.


Abi Brown is a freelance writer and general pen-for-hire devoted to sexual deviancy, far-left politics and wearing too much jewellery. 
 

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