Our Guide to Hair Play, Hair Pulling & Hair Bondage

From twirling hair around fingers as a means to flirt - to having someone's fingers entwined in your locks when in a passionate embrace, hair has a significant place in sexual and kinky play. But how can you take an interest in hair and hair pulling and incorporate it into your kink scenes? We asked Victoria Blisse to tie up all your hair bondage loose ends and answer those scalp-tugging questions. 

First things first

Not everyone likes their hair played with - or perhaps they only like it touched in certain ways. So before you start playing, ensure you gain consent so you know what you're allowed to do and remember to check in throughout play. 

Hair play

If you're a big fan of hair, the easiest way to incorporate your hair fetish is with some gentle hair play - this can be as simple as stroking your partner's hair, or it could be more of an act of service. Maybe you could brush your Dominant's hair and help them style it. It's a way for you to show your submission, but it's also a way to indulge your fetish.  

Hair play isn't just for heads either! Gentle stroking of body hair can be included, as well as light combing and brushing if there's enough hair. It's a lovely sensation for the person receiving the attention, but remember to look for any knots or tangles and work them out slowly. Well, unless you're a sadist and have permission to hurt them.

Hair pulling tips

From those cartoon images of cave people being dragged around by their hair to modern-day sex, people mostly view hair pulling as a primal act. While it might seem quite simple, is it?

Do's

• Grab as much hair as possible
• Grip the hair at the nape (back of the neck) and crown (top) of the head 
• Pull evenly to avoid injury

Don'ts 

• Pull hair at the front and sides of the head
• Exert much force on a small bunch of hair – it will break
• Jolt and jerk the person's head around it could cause injury 

Always ask the person you're playing with how they want you to handle them. Check if they have any existing injuries or weak spots that you should avoid. Pulling hair can be used in primal play, mixed wrestling and all kinds of Domination play. 

Check out our free online course at The BDSM Training School, A Quick Guide to Hair Pulling, hosted by The BDSM Training School for more on how to pull hair effectively. 
 

Hair bondage tips

An excellent way to add extra predicament into rope play is with hair bondage. Attaching hair to ropes in a tie means the head has to be kept in a particular position or will cause the rope bunny (the person tied) pain to move. While a risky activity, always ensure to practise Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK).
 

• Use plenty of hair in the tie 
• Take the hair from the nape and the crown to centre the force 
• Do not hang someone from their hair (they may scalp themselves!)
• Always have a pair of shears nearby to cut through rope in an emergency 
   

Jere Keys from San Francisco, USA, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons.  

Many rope ties incorporate hair, but these are often for long hair - though some can be used on shorter hair. To learn these ties, ask an experienced rigger about them. You may be able to find workshops in your area or attend a peer rope event and ask others for guidance. 

You can use hair bondage to tie a sub in a position, such as a ring or a bedpost. Hair bondage can also be added into a hogtie or used to pull back an anal hook. Make sure you're confident in what you're doing before you get started!

If you have problems keeping the rope in a person's hair, try some hairspray as this can help the rope 'stick' to hair. 

Hair today, hair tomorrow - you can use hair in your kink and BDSM play in so many ways. You can pull hair every day of the week but remember consent and safety, so your play is only the pleasantly hair raising kind! 

Victoria Blisse is an erotic author, a sex-positive Reverend and part of Smut.UK who arranges events for curious and kinky people with a literary bent.
 

Already a member? Get helpful tips for hair fetish play from other kinksters in the forums. Not a member? Join our kinky family!  

Cover image: Master Peter at the BDSM Training School.