How to Open Up to a Partner About Wearing Women's Panties

Our resident BDSM advice guru returns with some top tips for one FET member looking for ways to tell his partner about his kink for wearing women's panties. Read on to find out what our Molly suggests.
 

Dear Molly, 
I really like wearing women's panties. I have a small selection which I keep hidden away but I also often wear my wife's. I'm getting worried that she will find out and think that it's weird or that I'm gay or something (which I'm not). I want to tell her rather than her finding out, but don't know how to go about it? 
Mr Panty
 

Dear Mr Panty,
Guys wearing panties is a fairly common fetish among mainly straight cisgender men. For most men who enjoy underwear fetish, it's absolutely nothing to do with their sexual orientation, but about the thrill of doing something that feels taboo and naughty. Also, it's often about having a little secret, for example, when people get off on going out with no underwear, it's the thrill of doing something naughty in public that only you know about.

Why does wearing women's panties work for you?

First, I think it's essential for you to understand what it is about wearing women's panties that turns you on. Understanding why something is hot can help a great deal and is the first step when wanting to share your kink with a partner. The better you understand it, the better you can explain it to someone else - and hopefully in a way where they can engage with your excitement around it. 

Perhaps you have a story around how you discovered your kink? Also, maybe there are certain styles or fabrics that you like? For some men, wearing women's panties is much about the feel of satin or lace, as well as how they look. 

It's also important to realise that it's not weird, nor is it about your sexual orientation. You wearing women's panties is no different from me wearing my partners' boxers.  
 

Exploring panties and lingerie. Image: I_love_panties via Flickr license (CC BY-ND 2.0)
 

Women find guys wearing panties hot

While not a universal truth, in my experience, many women find guys wearing panties and lingerie very sexy. There's something about a masculine frame encased in lacy, feminine underwear that is just incredibly hot - even more so if you know your partner is turned on by wearing them. 

Seeing your partner get pleasure is, for most people, a huge turn on for them. Hence, I think it's crucial you understand what makes wearing women's panties hot for you and subsequently, confident about it. A man who is confident about wearing women's panties is very sexy, indeed. 

Start a conversation

Talking about your kink with your wife is probably not something you want to launch straight into over breakfast, but introduce subtly. Creating an environment where everyone feels about to speak openly about their sexual kinks is a significant part of having a happy and healthy sex life together. So maybe think about starting by exploring some of the things your partner finds sexy so that they feel able to confide in you something they might like to try.  

Introduce sexy stories

Another excellent way to explore different kinks with someone is by sharing sexy stories, so it doesn't feel so intimidating. Search online for sexy stories of guys wearing panties or lingerie, and perhaps share those with your partner. It could be a good way of opening up the conversation and introducing its idea. It might also help combat the issues around thinking your kink is weird if you can find stories where that isn't the case. 
 

Make your kink playful

Here's an idea. When your wife gets dressed, maybe toss her a pair of your underwear and say, "you'd look sexy in these". You could expand that into, "you put on mine, and I'll try on your panties". Make it a playful fun time together, and hopefully, that would lead to you both admiring each other in your new undies, leading to more exploration. 

There's a variety of ways in which you could engage in some playful fun around wearing each other's underwear. The idea is that it'd open up the ideal opportunity for you to start to show your partner how sexy you find it and also gauge how they might feel about it.

Be honest about wearing women's panties

You're right to want to tell your partner. I think them unexpectedly finding out is likely to create some tension, especially as you're wearing her knickers at times, too. Discovering something like this about your partner could be jarring, and worst case, it could damage the trust between you. Your kink isn't weird, for most people, sharing something they find exciting with their partner makes it exciting for them. Bringing your partner gently and sensitively into your kink of wearing women's underwear is the right thing to do. 
Good luck! 
Molly x

Want Molly to help you out with a kink-related issue? Contact Molly via her Fetish profile. Love wearing women's panties? Check the forum.
  

 
Cover image : released from Shutterstock.