Whether you want to exert your Dominance or feel more submissive, there are plenty of ways to indulge in public kink - without being caught! Writer Kayla Lords offers six hot ideas on how to be kinky in public.

I’m a big believer in keeping kink private - at least in public and very vanilla settings. The last thing I want to do is out myself, my Dominant, or my other kinky friends. That being said: I love the “dirtiness” of public kink because nobody but us knows what’s going on. These are my favourite tips on how to be kinky in public. 

Start sexting each other

Whether it’s a mindfuck to anticipate when you’re together again or you play out a fantasy in words, no one has to know what you’re furiously typing and why you have that evil grin on your face. Tip: I always try to keep my screen from being seen, but I figure if someone’s going to be so nosy as to read over my shoulder, they deserve the shock they get. Definitely one of the more discreet ideas on how to be kinky in public. 


Orgasm control in the bathroom

Clearly, this is for a Dominant to assign and a submissive to complete. Edging, orgasm control, or full orgasm, as long as you’re fairly quiet, no one will know what you’re doing in that stall. Note: Add to the fun by sending pictures of wet fingers, creamy cocks, or soaked pussies.


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Anal plugs can’t be seen. But they can definitely be felt.

Don’t leave anal plugs in for too long, especially if you’re new to being plugged. And if you don’t usually wear underwear, this is the time to put them on. I once wore a plug with a skirt and no panties and nearly outed myself towards the end when my muscles relaxed. Note: Taking it out in the bathroom is like masturbating in the bathroom - as long as you’re quiet, no one will know, but it feels kinky to do it.

Wearable public kink

Wear a rope harness. I love rope bondage. The squeeze feels like a hug to me. If one of you is the pro and has the time, pull out the rope and get to work. Wear it under your clothes, and no one is the wiser. Note: If you genuinely want to keep it a secret, don’t wear low-cut clothes or sheer fabric.

Choose collars that look like jewellery. I know some submissives who have more collars than pairs of shoes, and I know others who only have one, and it never comes off. For those who want something discreet but want to feel owned out in the vanilla world, get a collar that looks like jewellery or choose a pretty necklace and treat it like a collar. Note: There’s nothing wrong with wearing a collar that is obviously a BDSM collar. However, most people prefer not to deal with looks or awkward questions from family and co-workers.


How to be kinky in public - man removing his underwear
How to be kinky in public without anyone knowing? Go without underwear! 


Try a vibe with a remote control

Some of these vibrators have an actual remote control, and others are powered by mobile applications. People may wonder why one of you is twitching or panting, but from the outside looking in, no one else will know it’s because you’re being teased mercilessly by your partner. Note: Try it at home first to test the volume. Ours seems loud to me, but he says he can’t hear it at all. Guess what’s coming to dinner with us next time we go out?

How to be kinky in public with no sexual acts required

There are some even simpler ways on how to be kinky in public that doesn’t require any sexual acts or special equipment:

  • Wear clothes picked out by your Dominant.
  • Wear underwear if you typically don’t. Go without underwear - for those who always wear it.
  • Don’t speak unless spoken to by your Dominant.
  • Remove your panties and give them to your partner - or leave them in plain sight.


Kayla Lords is a freelance writer, sex blogger, and a masochistic babygirl living the 24/7 D/s life. 

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Have you ever fantasised about sneaking some kink into a public setting? What are your tips on how to be kinky in public? Share your thoughts in the Fetish.com forum.

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