Website Logo

Molly's BDSM Tips | Making it as a Professional Mistress

This week our kinky advice guru Molly gives some advice to one FET member who, after being a Mistress on the side, now wants to turn her passion into her profession. But as a single mum, what does she need to look out for? Read on.
 

Dear Molly, 
For the last five years, I've been a private Mistress for fun. Now I'd like to turn this hobby into my profession and rent a studio part-time. Could you give me some advice as to what would be the right steps to look for future clients? Also, I'm a single mum, so I'm wondering if this could get me into trouble with the authorities.

D. Matrix
 

A picture of Molly Moore. BDSM TipsDear D. Matrix,
As the saying goes, turn your hobby or passion into a job, and you’ll never work a day in your life. Being a private Mistress definitely sounds like a passion-led role, whether it's for fun or as a professional Mistress. Still, there are important things to keep in mind when making the switch from fun to professional.


Define your professional Mistress services

One of the things to think about is what services you'll be offering. When you're doing it for fun, then that tends to be something you would work out on a casual basis with each partner, but when you're setting a professional service, it's something you want to be very clear about to your prospective clients. There's no point if someone is booking you for a rope bondage session if that's not one of your skill sets.

Also, think about your limits, what are the things you'd never want to do? Maybe ***s are a hard limit for you, or needle play or other forms of medical play. Having personal limits is fine, but it will help both you and clients if you are relatively clear about what they are ahead of any session.
 

Finding clients

There are lots of potential ways to find clients, but one of the best ways is to create a website that has some good SEO (Search Engine Optimisation) so that when potential clients type in ‘Professional Mistress’ and the name of your city, Google displays your website. It's fairly easy to get a domain name and some hosting from an adult-friendly host and then use WordPress software to build your site.

Additionally, you also want to look around for websites where you can advertise, and even start to build yourself a following on social media. Twitter is particularly useful as they allow more adult content than a lot of the other platforms.
 

Legal implications

Legal implications are something that you need to consider. I'm not a legal expert, so I would highly recommend that you get some advice from a legal professional so that you can be sure that you're not risking custody of your kids. What you need to ascertain is the legal situation in the country that you live in. Every territory has different rules when it comes to adult services.

Often professional Mistress services that do not involve actual sex are not illegal, but it does vary from place to place, so it's crucial to do your research and know what you can and can't do. It's also worth talking to other professional Mistresses in your area to get their advice and thoughts on the legal situation - and any risks you might be taking.
 

Fun versus Professional 

One final thought for you to consider is how offering a professional Mistress service might differ from what you have done in the past. Clients will be paying you *** and will be expecting exactly that, a service that meets their needs and desires. It becomes less about what you enjoy with a partner and more about providing a quality service and experience for your customer. It's not for everyone and takes a particular skill set to do well.  

I think it's important that you're sure you want to make that change. Sometimes turning a hobby or something you do for fun into a job can mean that it becomes work and not play. It's worth being sure that you want to make that switch. 
Good luck! 
Molly x

sign up to fetish.com


Want Molly to help you out with a kink-related issue? Contact Molly via her Fetish profile. Have you made the leap to being a professional Mistress and have some tips to share? Join our forum!

 Mollys BDSM Tips and Advice.  Ask Her!
Images: released from Shutterstock.  

5 Comments

Add a comment


    Related Discussions

    Related Discussions

    Becoming Professional Dominatrix

    Hello everyone! I'm interested in becoming a professional dominatrix and I live in the Dayton oh area. Not sure where I can find information on this or how to apply. Any resources you guys could provide would be so helpful. Thank you! 3 Likes 2 Replies· over 4 years ago

    Aftercare w/ a Pro Domme

    I am wondering, how many Pro Dommes give aftercare once the majority of the session is done? Also, have any subs had the opportunity or was offered the aftercare at the end of the session? 2 Replies· over 6 years ago

    My first appointment with a professional dominatrix

    I'm a virgin to the scene, I have never done this before. Since my early 20's I have fantasized about bdsm, but have never worked up the courage to let it be known or actually seek it. So fast forward to now, I'm in my early 40's and just feel like I have missed out on a lot by keeping this a secret. Finally I worked up the courage to search for a professional who fits what I'm in to and I actually found the right one I believe. I have passed the screening and my first appointment is scheduled about a week from now. I'm very excited (obviously) but also very very nervous about it as I don't know what to expect. Fetishes were discussed and boundries set in place but I'm still very nervous. I'm seeking some advice about how to get over these jitters somewhat, I won't totally and I realize that. 3 Likes 16 Replies· over 7 years ago

    Mollys BDSM Tips

    New to Fetish.com is my column ‘Molly’s BDSM Tips’. If you're fresh to the fetish scene and BDSM lifestyle and need some things explaining, or if you're an experienced player and would like some BDSM advice in general, twice a month I'll choose one question/problem to answer, to be published online as an article in the Fetish.com magazine. To to submit your question, send me a private message detailing exactly what you’d like to know or need help with - your privacy will be respected and you can remain anonymous if you prefer. OR you can use this thread if you don't mind discussing your issue in public. *Unfortunately, I cannot enter into personal correspondence that’s not related to the advice column. 12 Likes 47 Replies· almost 4 years agoHighlighted

    How do I meet a non professional Dominatrix?

    It seems most sites are full of Dominatrix who require a fee for their services. Whilst I appreciate it is an area that is very profitable, I am looking for a Dominatrix to train me and help me explore the scene and push my boundaries. I want to give my submission Dominatrix to take it out there or not? 2 Replies· almost 9 years ago