BDSM Petplay |​ What Kind of Animal Are You?

Ever fantasised about becoming the vulnerable mouse to his hungry cat? Fetish.com writer Stella Harris explores the world of BDSM petplay.
 

“What kind of animal do you feel like?” He asked me, and I didn’t have an answer. It wasn’t something I’d put any thought into before. But I was pinned below him, it felt primal, and so I thought of prey animals. “A bunny,” I answered, and he seemed pleased. With that, I found myself engaging in occasional BDSM pet play. Although sometimes my bunny was more of a kitten - with collar, leash, and food dish.
 

Why indulge in BDSM petplay?

There are many different forms of BDSM petplay, and many reasons people choose to engage in it. As BDSM petplay becomes more popular there are more toys and tools available specifically for that purpose. Once hard to come by, pet tail butt plugs are now widely available at sex toy retailers. And all you have to do is go to a public kink event of decent size, and you’re likely to see several people wearing ears.

Some people have names and personalities for their pet selves, others just take on certain mannerisms of their chosen animal. For some BDSM petplay is a form of more primal play, especially for those who choose wild animals. However, for others it’s a way to feel cherished and taken care of.


Trust and vulnerability can be explored with BDSM petplay.
 

The experts on BDSM petplay

The Infamous Coat Check Girl of infamouscoatcheckgirl.com engages in kitten play, and took the time to explain to me how she got into it: “Like most kids, I used to play make-believe, pretend to be different animals but I always identified most strongly with cats--- big cats, little cats, house cats, the tigrillos native to my country.

I never entirely grew out of it, and always had little mannerisms. I would meow and purr. I had one lover who thought it was cute and began to encourage it, but it wasn’t until about two years ago that I was in a D/s dynamic that I really began to explore BDSM petplay in earnest.

My dominant encouraged me to dig deep and journal about things I’d never even uttered aloud. Additionally, he created a safe space for me to explore those things mostly at my own pace, with the occasional gentle nudge. I am, in my public life, a very strong and somewhat reserved person, so to let go and be soft and fluffy, vulnerable and a little silly in BDSM petplay, required a lot of trust.“

The trust that The Infamous Coat Check Girl mentions is central to many forms of BDSM play. And BDSM petplay is no exception. Although in kink we often think about the physical aspects of trust - knowing that we won’t be physically harmed in a lasting way, the emotional aspects are just as important. Whether it’s trusting enough to be submissive to someone, or trusting to be a pet with someone, it creates a great vulnerability on the part of the bottom. And the bottom is counting on their top to keep them safe.

Max of Bondagelessons.com explains what’s in it for the top. He says BDSM petplay can be about power or objectification but more commonly it’s a gift to the bottom/pet. Furthermore, it’s an opportunity for them to turn off their rational and responsible parts and to accentuate the playful and carefree.

Max also says there’s an element of stewardship and care taking in BDSM petplay. It can take a lot of energy and time to protect that safe space you’ve created for your bottom, especially if you’re playing in public. Ultimately it’s an opportunity to cherish your partner in a different way, to build intimacy by caring for them.

So while it may look different from the outside - not the whips, chains, paddles, and ropes you’re used to seeing - there are a lot of similarities to other forms of play. BDSM petplay is a way to explore trust and vulnerability, and different states of mind, all of which builds intimacy and connection between partners.

Stella Harris is a writer, BDSM educator, and sex & intimacy coach. Through her writing and teaching she explores the complex world of love and lust and helps people explore their desires safely and free of shame. Learn more at www.stellaharris.net.

This article was originally posted on 3 August 2015 and was updated on 17 January 2018.


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Image: andyspb via Flickr with CC BY 2.0 license.