As well as being a Fetish.com Community Team Member, I am an erotic author, a Sex Positive Reverend and part of Smut.UK who arrange events for curious and kinky people with a literary bent.
Cheeky wench and good girl in equal measure I have a big heart and an even bigger smile. Variety is the spice of life so I keep my life spicy!
Visit me at victoriablisse.co.uk and check out ilovesmut.uk for news of upcoming events I'll be attending/running.
I dream of a world where everyone is accepted for exactly who they are. No judgements or expectations, no need for labels because everyone will be perfectly, wonderfully themselves.
My fantasies are varied and fun, I write lots of them down and publish them for everyone to read. I'm most certainly a masochist and pain makes me a very happy bunny indeed. Pleasure is very good too of course, both together is perfection!
I think there is a lot of self -reflection and moderation with kink. For those taking a dominant role and those submissive.
Control is a big part of D/s and not just of the Dom over the sub. For every individual involved they make a decision on how much control they're taking or handing over. Read more… Where their limits lie.
It's not for everyone, that's true. But there is a lot to learn about yourself when indulging in BDSM.
Aftercare isn't completely and utterly the Dom/top's responsibility. Here's some info on self aftercare. As sometimes, even with the best of intention, your top can't be there to give what you need.
Please be assured we at fetish.com are doing our best to make this community safe and fun for everyone. If you have suspicions about another member then please report it to the support team. On every profile there's a 'report profile' button on the left hand side. Click that and send in a message Read more… with as much detail as possible.
This sounds like a really tough situation to be in. Just a few things that jump to mind as I read about your situation.
1, Do you ask her what she wants? What she's interested in? What gets her excited?
2, Would couples therapy be useful for you both? To discuss this. It is clearly Read more… something that needs addressing for you both to really be happy
3, If she has problems with lubrication, do you use lube with sex play? Do you do a lot of foreplay? Can that happen without PIV sex being the end? A lot of sex is mental. When that is unlocked the physical often follows suit.
Hope you manage to work it out.
I'd disagree with this. I think that actually you want to avoid making a sub safeword. That is an indication things went too far.
The easy answer is 'ask'. You can use traffic lights. Anything other than green should have play stop for a conversation to see if the sub is happy to continue. Read more…
Observing body language can help too, but this probably only works if you know the sub quite well. One person wriggling might mean 'stop' another might wiggle lots when they're enjoying a spanking.