To have a Dom

February 2, 2020

A friend of mine absolutely adored play and had a bit of a poly structure with relationships.

And, pretty much every month she'd turn up to the monthly fetish night and do as much or as little play as she fancied or had the energy for - this in turn caused her to pretty much always have a queue, imagine "do me next"

This of course also led many guys to feel that they had a chance with her (the old illusion of "poly = easy" which isn't true. Whilst - feeling 'she loves play so she'll surely play with me')

And, it often got too much. So she would say to people to come to the fetish night and she MIGHT play with them and some were rather demanding and entitled that if they'd made the effort to come along she somehow owed them play (she didn't even work for the night, she was just, effectively, a customer)

Anyway. Amongst this there'd be guys who'd push for her to make time outside of this to play with them.
She had a day job. 2 or 3 relationships. Kids. So on.

Taking time to meet someone was going to cut into the time spent on other relationships, family time, or other social or personal time

So, kinda there was someone who was being pushy but she kinda thought seemed interesting but he wasn't local so she basically said
"OK, I will come and I will play with you - but - I'd like you to cover my petrol ***"

Now... if instead of meeting for play they were meeting for a date - it'd cost the guy about the same. And, obviously on a date you're certain of nothing.

Guy hit the roof. Everything from "I could send you the petrol *** and you just not show up" to "you're only interested in ***"

I mean, first off - someone taking £40 from you is far less damaging than what someone could do to you if they were a reckless player. Or, I dunno, tie someone up and rob their house...

But also, like, he'd found someone who was happy to take time out of her life to come and fulfil his kinks.
He'd probably have expectation for her to look a certain way (in clothes that aren't cheap) to bring certain toys (again, not cheap) and effectively give up an evening when she could be spending time with her kids, or one of her subs, or just chilling in front of the telly...

And, that, yeah... blown it for the sake of £40

And, sure - she might take the £40 and run - but she also could be a dangerous player so why vet on one side and not the other?