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A difference in Dom/Domme/Femdom/Findom


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Posted

Bit of a spin off from another thread but...

There's a few similar terms that people frequently confuse and it's easy to kinda wander the wrong way with the wrong language.

So... a difference between the Dominants.

Dominant
Describing someone as a Dominant doesn't matter about sex or gender - you could prefix this "I am a Female Dominant" or "I am looking for a Male Dominant" or "I am a gentle male Dominant" whatever

Dom/Domme
Dom or Domme is an abbreviation of Dominant, nothing more or less. Typically, a Domme is a female Dominant however there are an increasing number of ladies who prefer Dom.

Dominatrix/Pro-Domme
A Dominatrix is typically a female Dominant who offers sessions or services on a paid for basis. Many often use Pro-Domme.

Femdom/Femdomme

Is short for Female Domination - it is the act of Female Domination rather than a person.
For example if you are into Femdom, regardless of your sex or gender, you are into women in charge.

Lezdom

While a Dom/Domme/Pro-Domme/etc may have a sub of any sex or gender - while Femdom is the act of Female Domination, this is sometimes known as Lezdom when it is women who enjoy being Dominated by (or submitting to) other women.  Mostly commonly used in porn searches than social circles, mind.

Findom/Findomme
Both are often used interchangeably.
Findom is usually short for Financial Domination - Financial Domination is a form of Domination that some Dominants (pro or not) may indulge in on a consensual basis.

A difference between a Dominant who indulges in Financial Domination and a Findomme (sort for Financial Dominatrix) is that the former would indulge in Financial Domination as part of a range of other activities, while the latter may enjoy other activities but the Financial element is a major part.

A male Findomme is commonly called a Cash Master, successful Cash Masters usually have gay male subs and are usually gay.  The successful straight Cash Masters also have mostly gay male subs.

Some examples in practice.

You meet a lady for lunch, she is Dominant, you discuss play together as either a couple, or friends, she is a Dom/Domme

You meet a lady for lunch, she charges you for her time. You agree to play together and she tells you her tribute for that session.  She is a Pro Domme.

You meet a lady for lunch, you discuss playing together as a couple or friends she is not asking for a tribute or anything like that. However, you are paying for lunch and she is ordering a lot of expensive things from the menu, including champagne to go. This is an example of Financial Domination.  

You meet a lady for lunch. She probably charges you for her time, orders the expensive things from the menu, isn't going to otherwise play with you, but she does let you kiss her feet as you withdraw *** from the cash point to give her, you sweat not knowing how much she will take. She is likely to be a FinDomme.

In all of the above you knew the above before you met the person.
There were no surprises otherwise.

Posted
This is an excellent post. You're very good at explaining concepts clearly. I always enjoy your forum contributions.
Posted
I feel exactly the same way as Lady Char, love reading your contributions!
Posted

Thanks :) I tried to keep it simple 

There are of course further spin offs because, for example, you might pay for lunch not through financial domination but through wanting to make a good impression - or - you might discuss playing and there are overheads to what you both want to do which you covering wouldn't necessarily make the other person either Pro or Fin.

When a lady turned up to the munch the other week with her partners credit cards and bought every drinks - that was financial domination, even if we were the recipients of the top shelf spirits ;) 

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Great post thank you I never quite understood what findom was.

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