Tips on how to be a good sub

[Summer_girl1]

Hey all. Just wanting some tips and recommendations for anyone who has been a sub or from the perspective of Daddy/Sir. Really need a release and have insane kinky fantasies. I really want to explore them.

[Deleted Member]

Your in the right place. Explore the site, find your way around and In time what you seek will become reality.

[Deleted Member]

Have a look at some of the forum threads. You might find other questions that have already been answered, and there are plenty of stories that will show you how others perceive a good Submissive.

[li****]

Read as much as you can forums are great here, what helped me is something called the submissive guide you can find it through Goggle. Also my one piece of advice don't rush in to anything take your time get to know people first, have a look round this site there are plenty of subs and Doms with real life experiences, have a gander and never be afraid to ask questions.

[Deleted Member]

Read, read, read and talk to a wide variety of people. No question is stupid 💗

[Si****]

As much as i agree with the read, read advice. only use that info to help you discover the things you didn't know and what makes you go ooow. Ultimately you have to just be yourself and be clear as to what you want. A Dom/Daddy/Sir are human and cant read minds. They will ask you things like what do you like? don't like? desires? and such. It helps if you know what it is you are looking for and can communicate your desires in your answers to those questions. Make the most of the lockdown to learn chat and talk to people, including possible Doms/ subs etc. This lockdown will keep the breaks on the urge to meet too quickly and help you to get to know both yourself and others.

[Ki****]

As a sub when I was first starting out with my Dom, he asked me to express what my desires were, what my hard limits were and what I was unsure about with the intention of exploring new things. Being a good sub has been for me to fulfil my Doms desires as much as fulfilling my own desires. So as well as expressing your likes and dislikes ask your Dom what he/she likes, dislikes and desires to explorer.

A good Dom will also want to see you grow as a person whether it be in confidence, knowledge, ability etc. So be willing to allow him to teach and guide you.

Bare in mind that each Dom is different in their likes and dislikes and a D/s relationship should be one of communication. So start by talking to Doms and finding one that most closely matches your desires for a D/s relationship.

[Ky****]

1 hour ago, little_dark_princess said:

Read, read, read and talk to a wide variety of people. No question is stupid 💗

except the ones you don't ask, which always seem to be the vital ones that we should have asked

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Kymi said:

except the ones you don't ask, which always seem to be the vital ones that we should have asked

Indeed 💗

[Deleted Member]

Questioning is your key to finding out, as mentioned here by others. If you don't feel satisfied with the response, then ask further in order to dig inside the person you're talking with. Being a sub doesn't limit your inquisitiveness, despite what some dominants might tell you. Always ask simple questions, as they're often the hardest to answer. Questions with what, why, where, when, how, which, if, are good starters. By doing this, you're building a deeper understanding and bigger picture, of the individual you're conversing with at the time. Really, nothing is off limits if you really want to know someone, and by doing this you are slowly developing the trust and understanding that are the foundations for a potential connection and maybe eventual relationship. Hope this helps...if not, ask a question.

[Hangingtuff]

Just be yourself. There's nothing worse than a sub without their own mind and personality that just wants to do what they think is correct. Learn as you go, the dom will learn about you and the chemistry will intensify

[cautiousswitch]

Think about your limits first.  Having doubts or feeling like you are being guilted into doing something when you are asked to do it because you didn't question the activity beforehand. 

[Th****]

I know when I was first learning about the lifestyle many moons ago, often it was as useful to hear about other people's experiences that made be think eeeek!

I would always ask them why they enjoyed the activity, what part the sensation or the emotion, it took a while to be able to get my head around how other people process their pleasure.

In turn that made me a better Dom and I am pretty sure if I had been submissive it would have made me a better submissive to.

The greatest lesson to learn after you have your limits, wants, and needs is the ability to build rapport with other community members while accepting them for who they are.

Good luch and remember forget the destination just have an awesome journey.