Is it inappropriate for a Dom to cry? 😿

[BabygirlPheonix]

I'd say ABSOLUTELY. You are a human before anything else. You have any right in the world to cry for whatever reason. It doesn't make you weak whether you are male or female, it makes you HUMAN. Me personally, I love it when my Dom shows me his emotions. I welcome it. I appreciate it. I would never judge him or any other guy for crying in front of me or at all. It's part of being ALIVE. I mean, if a guy cries while he's cutting onions, is someone going to call them weak? No, because it's a natural response. So why wouldn't it be okay for that same natural response to happen any other time in life. You should never have to question whether it's okay for you to cry or not, like I said before, you are HUMAN before anything else. 🫂

[St****]

It is okay if you make him cry from being a good girl

[Do****]

39 minutes ago, oliver6996 said:

Somebody has been watching too many peaky blinders - but of course your the most powerful existence, and by this scale the next most powerful would be, Winnie the Pooh

That’s funny. Too bad I have never seen peaky blinders. I wouldn’t take a peak if I want to see something.

[Do****]

22 minutes ago, Stretchabachio said:

It is okay if you make him cry from being a good girl

Care to elaborate your position?

[Ji****]

As a Dom; being in top space and coming down? Top drop is a thing.

I’ve spoken with various subs of mine. I think it depends on the sub and connection.

If a sub is Demisexual? The power and courage for a Dom to cry? Adds to the experience; provide the sub who is Demisexual a connection.

If the sub is just wanting fun NSA dynamic? Tears may be a turn off or deal breaker.

It really depends on the dynamic TBH

[Do****]

45 minutes ago, BabygirlPheonix said:

I'd say ABSOLUTELY. You are a human before anything else. You have any right in the world to cry for whatever reason. It doesn't make you weak whether you are male or female, it makes you HUMAN. Me personally, I love it when my Dom shows me his emotions. I welcome it. I appreciate it. I would never judge him or any other guy for crying in front of me or at all. It's part of being ALIVE. I mean, if a guy cries while he's cutting onions, is someone going to call them weak? No, because it's a natural response. So why wouldn't it be okay for that same natural response to happen any other time in life. You should never have to question whether it's okay for you to cry or not, like I said before, you are HUMAN before anything else. 🫂

Thank you so much for your input. Your perspective is very important in relation to the subject matter it’s good to know different perspectives from subs on certain matters because that information would help for a better dynamic yet. I will say that you’re coming about onions is not 100% true because some people would consider that weak even if you cry from cutting onions.
PS do me a favor and keep sharing, but be mindful of any conversations directly spoken to Dom’s . Just some free advice. FYI

[Ba****]

Everyone cries when their emotional cup overflows. Some people’s cups are just bigger than others and fill/empty at different rates.

[Do****]

58 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

i) Yes, it is absolutely okay for a Dom/me to cry, for whatever reason. Pent-up or suppressed emotions are not healthy.

 

ii) It isn't okay to be directing your "in raged" energy at people, especially as a D-type. A Dom/me needs to have self-discipline and control above all else; a Dom/me who directs anger or rage towards another person is expressing themselves as a danger to their partner/s.

Appreciate your input, but just for clarity do you think that I was referring to having a problem with knowing how to properly handle my energies because this conversation was only in retrospect to strength and weaknesses in the view of Dom’s cryin.

[Se****]

If I were in a relationship with someone and they needed to but refused to cry in front of me it would feel like a v!olat!on of trust.

Do not expect me to give all of myself if you won’t or can’t do the same.

I hate the crap about men (I’m aware not all Dom's are men) not being able to cry and it being a weakness. Is it hell a weakness, vulnerability IS strength and rawness and honesty is hugely powerful.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: Doms ought to have safe words and aftercare and yeah, if they want or need to, the freedom and ability to cry and show all of their emotions.

We live in a crazy society where the “norm” is that crying is weak. But why? Why is it weak to cry of be human? Is it not weaker to hide one’s emotions for *** of ridicule or non acceptance? Maybe, just maybe, our societal norms are wrong and need to be changed. Maybe we all need to grow the hell up and realise that we all have a range of emotions within us and inability to express these if more detrimental than actually doing so.

Just my opinion. 

Edited June 30 by SerendipitousKeeper
Censored word

[Or****]

If we werent meant to cry we probably wouldn't it sheds excess energy and water and like taking a *** a little of the good is shed to entangle the bad and pull it away from the body.

[Do****]

1 hour ago, Massagedude1 said:

As Doms we experience intense sessions, physical, mental, emotional releases almost as much as our Subs do. If you sit and think about it the *** we cause to bring our Subs to their releases, that we helped them to let go of those emotions, while we remained in control and then held them close to us after which allowed them to let go of more and feel safe and protected. Yeah its very emotional for us and not healthy to hold onto all of our emotions from that. We have to be able to safely let those go.

I agree with this stance. I would add that I believe in order to provide the greatest experience possible based on our natural abilities. A True Dom not a switch dom; a True Dom should have a certain level of wisdom and balance in their own evolution. Before embarking on a journey as a Guide.

[Do****]

1 hour ago, bearr229 said:

No, I definitely wouldn't see it as such. Tears are a release of emotion, regardless of what emotion. Not a weakness.

I appreciate you sharing

[Gl****]

Not all tears are sad ones. If a woman gives me happy tears, she should consider that a compliment. To me there’s more to being a dominant than showing how tough or strong you can be.

Even at my age, I’m still one of the baddest motherfuckers on this planet. I still cry when Goose dies in the original Top Gun or when Braveheart yells out Freeeedom!!! it takes great balls of fire to have freedom with your emotions lol. It takes a real woman to let a man feel safe enough to be *** enough to feel his emotions when the rest of the world is telling him not to. Cry away, my brother! The right woman will see you.

[Do****]

2 hours ago, Sweetestsadist said:

Absolutely. I use a session as therapy often, not just for fun. When there's stuff that is making my brain frustrated, letting it out though a beating helps. Sometimes there's tears from me, that is a release as well. And it's not that I want to be consoled. I want to work my issues out. If I cry, I'm not ashamed.

Are you a 100% Dom or a switch hitter?

[Do****]

2 hours ago, ThatCheekyMinx said:

If my dom hid his emotions from me in that way, any connection would be short-lived. Yes, bursting into tears in the middle of a scene is sub-optimal, but during aftercare, when space is held for all participants to purge emotions and be reassured by their partner it's completely normal and shows the strength of trust between the two. You do you, i just think your view is a little toxic.

You have a position that is sensible and I too as well felt that particular comment held toxicity

[Si****]

You are human you have emotions going to happen if you're any kind of human being man or woman of course men need to be more stoic. Which comes to, depends on the situation. You're not going to go out and hang out with the guys at a strip club and start crying about why Bambi isnt wearing the correct color g-string, you know. I'm done heavy highway in bridge for eons. Crying is not part of the curriculum. However when I went to doctors with my son and he had to get needles and he started crying and screaming it made me well up and cry and I almost beat up the doctor. Cooler heads prevailed. So, yes it is okay to cry.

[AKA_Copper]

Tears and rage are both as a result of emotions which we all experience. If you're content with displaying rage towards "anyone or anything that's about to get my in rage energy" why arent you content to shed tears.
.
I think that that's the bigger question you need to answer for yourself.
.
Frankly, for me, if anyone is unable or unwilling to share/show their emotions within a relationship in a healthy way, it's a red flag. Emotional intelligence is an important aspect of our characters that often needs developing.

[Ar****]

10 minutes ago, Dominant_ism99 said:

Appreciate your input, but just for clarity do you think that I was referring to having a problem with knowing how to properly handle my energies because this conversation was only in retrospect to strength and weaknesses in the view of Dom’s cryin.

No, I wasn't. Nor am I saying this was your intention, however the way you handle your energies (as described by yourself in your OP) almost comes across with a bit of swag/with bravado. And I'm not sure that rage is something which should ever really be framed in such a way.

 

You are right in that you ask a question about tears and weaknesses as pertains to Doms (I have assumed you also invite discussion about Dommes). But a forum is by definition a place where thoughts and ideas are exchanged. Tangents and aspects of topics grow, without going off-topic. It was you yourself, in your OP, who brought up rage. Furthermore you did so in the context of crying - the main crux of your post.

 

This makes the subject very fair game for responses and even if it did not it is never inappropriate to share a refresher reminder of the dangers of anger in a BDSM context. I certainly consider my comment about rage and Dom/mes more relevant to your OP than the bizarre and off-topic PS remark you made in your reply to BabygirlPhoenix above.

 

I will be direct - from reading your OP, I am cautious of you. I don't know you and make no assumptions, but there is enough in the post to have me put my guard up. I read about rage issues. I read emotionally judgemental language such as "cry baby". There is the comment that you are 100% Dom and designed to be strong in all situations... I will repeat this tune until my last breath, a lion will never have to tell you it is a lion. And then I'm wondering if somebody is strong in all situations how they can let their rage ever get the better of them in the first place? Which loops back to the bravado. 

[Ra****]

You are a human being with emotions. You are not a lifeless machine. Anyone who thinks and believes that you are not allowed to cry just because you are a man and a dominant should be avoided.

[AKA_Copper]

11 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

No, I wasn't. Nor am I saying this was your intention, however the way you handle your energies (as described by yourself in your OP) almost comes across with a bit of swag/with bravado. And I'm not sure that rage is something which should ever really be framed in such a way.

 

You are right in that you ask a question about tears and weaknesses as pertains to Doms (I have assumed you also invite discussion about Dommes). But a forum is by definition a place where thoughts and ideas are exchanged. Tangents and aspects of topics grow, without going off-topic. It was you yourself, in your OP, who brought up rage. Furthermore you did so in the context of crying - the main crux of your post.

 

This makes the subject very fair game for responses and even if it did not it is never inappropriate to share a refresher reminder of the dangers of anger in a BDSM context. I certainly consider my comment about rage and Dom/mes more relevant to your OP than the bizarre and off-topic PS remark you made in your reply to BabygirlPhoenix above.

 

I will be direct - from reading your OP, I am cautious of you. I don't know you and make no assumptions, but there is enough in the post to have me put my guard up. I read about rage issues. I read emotionally judgemental language such as "cry baby". There is the comment that you are 100% Dom and designed to be strong in all situations... I will repeat this tune until my last breath, a lion will never have to tell you it is a lion. And then I'm wondering if somebody is strong in all situations how they can let their rage ever get the better of them in the first place? Which loops back to the bravado. 

After reading all comments, this is what I wanted to say but would not have framed it so kindly. There is a particular tone here that necessitates caution to be had when interacting here.

[Do****]

51 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

No, I wasn't. Nor am I saying this was your intention, however the way you handle your energies (as described by yourself in your OP) almost comes across with a bit of swag/with bravado. And I'm not sure that rage is something which should ever really be framed in such a way.

 

You are right in that you ask a question about tears and weaknesses as pertains to Doms (I have assumed you also invite discussion about Dommes). But a forum is by definition a place where thoughts and ideas are exchanged. Tangents and aspects of topics grow, without going off-topic. It was you yourself, in your OP, who brought up rage. Furthermore you did so in the context of crying - the main crux of your post.

 

This makes the subject very fair game for responses and even if it did not it is never inappropriate to share a refresher reminder of the dangers of anger in a BDSM context. I certainly consider my comment about rage and Dom/mes more relevant to your OP than the bizarre and off-topic PS remark you made in your reply to BabygirlPhoenix above.

 

I will be direct - from reading your OP, I am cautious of you. I don't know you and make no assumptions, but there is enough in the post to have me put my guard up. I read about rage issues. I read emotionally judgemental language such as "cry baby". There is the comment that you are 100% Dom and designed to be strong in all situations... I will repeat this tune until my last breath, a lion will never have to tell you it is a lion. And then I'm wondering if somebody is strong in all situations how they can let their rage ever get the better of them in the first place? Which loops back to the bravado. 

Hehehe 😂. I realize the divide in this banter. So here is some clarity. Me being a Pure Dom versus a switch hitter dom. Is my story, it’s my nature, and who I am. So when you reference what’s healthy in open discussion or your personal feelings about me with this being our only interaction is more telling than anything you thought you felt. This is supposed to be a judgement free space not a place field with things based on opinions and feels. You actually personalized a OP when it was a general OP. I didn’t ask for help with anything! So when you comment about me clarifying for ppl who jump to conclusions like yourself that I am not a crybaby that is not a slight that’s me using a common title used when in this community. As well as my reference to my rage I never said I didn’t know how to manage it or channel it. I was actually being a little too *** with strangers, because you are taking this to a place beyond your comprehension. For that matter are you a dom, sub, or switch. Because you made a lot of references to emotions submissive have when intrigued but weary of a certain energy level. Lastly swag and bravado are a part of me; so am I to dampen my energy despite myself?

[Do****]

48 minutes ago, RainySunshine said:

You are a human being with emotions. You are not a lifeless machine. Anyone who thinks and believes that you are not allowed to cry just because you are a man and a dominant should be avoided.

Your input is appreciated and welcomed

[Do****]

43 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

After reading all comments, this is what I wanted to say but would not have framed it so kindly. There is a particular tone here that necessitates caution to be had when interacting here.

I felt it the whole time. It was a great discussion but I personally felt judged by some comments, and it also felt like a weird d1€k measuring contest. I don’t know if I wasn’t clear enough for some, but in my position some comments are unproductive. We are here I thought to share, explore, learn, and grow. ijs

[Do****]

1 hour ago, CopperKnob said:

Tears and rage are both as a result of emotions which we all experience. If you're content with displaying rage towards "anyone or anything that's about to get my in rage energy" why arent you content to shed tears.
.
I think that that's the bigger question you need to answer for yourself.
.
Frankly, for me, if anyone is unable or unwilling to share/show their emotions within a relationship in a healthy way, it's a red flag. Emotional intelligence is an important aspect of our characters that often needs developing.

Great post but as I said I know for a fact my wording shouldn’t have giving an energy of emotional infancy. I am very in tune with me. I have been a Dom far too long to be that dissolved mentally and emotionally with my level of life experiences. I have far more than practical knowledge. I have met doms that are very skilled at play time with all their rope techniques, but when it comes to training they lack the actual knowledge because they themselves haven’t went through they’re own training/growth arch. But this ain’t that. I am something that most have never ever witnessed and probably never will not in its entirety.

[Do****]

1 hour ago, SirRavenousNefarious said:

You are human you have emotions going to happen if you're any kind of human being man or woman of course men need to be more stoic. Which comes to, depends on the situation. You're not going to go out and hang out with the guys at a strip club and start crying about why Bambi isnt wearing the correct color g-string, you know. I'm done heavy highway in bridge for eons. Crying is not part of the curriculum. However when I went to doctors with my son and he had to get needles and he started crying and screaming it made me well up and cry and I almost beat up the doctor. Cooler heads prevailed. So, yes it is okay to cry.

Much appreciated and I appreciate the humor. Keep sharing but I will make a simple request don’t beat up no doctors please lol. Plus I will be specific if I needed advice this was just a forum topic.