Dom/mes and Emotions

[Deleted Member]

12 hours ago, Leisa said:

I love how you put things. You are after all human and hiding that makes you less than rather then more of a man. You my friend show your emotions more openly and honestly than most of us and I find that one of your strengths rather than a weakness. It shows a confidence of self and that is what will attract the perfect submissive for you. Your submissive may not be perfect to another Dom who expects that emotions are not key to a good dynamic but they will be perfect for you. I look forward to see which direction you go as you are so authentic and caring outside a dynamic. I can only hope she is worthy of the man you are and not have expectations of the man she feels you should be. I do not doubt for one second that your submissive is out there and they will be very lucky to have such a wonderful, caring Dominant.

Morning. I don't know how to respond, all I can say is Thank you 😊😊

[Deleted Member]

Thank you for sharing. Just for the record I think you are spot on. I'd hate to have a robotic Domme who felt they couldn't share their emotions with me. The dynamic is all about growing and is symbiotic.

[Deleted Member]

Nice post, Jinxy, but my views are quiet the opposite. I think that it actually requires confidence to express your emotions and talk about your problems and weaknesses. I think that having problems with that are a sign of lack of confidence and weakness. I have never been in a 24/7 relationship, so never had much problems with that, but I always talked with my subs like with the normal life partners.

[Jinxy]

On 7/5/2020 at 3:23 PM, alexInfiniti said:

Nice post, Jinxy, but my views are quiet the opposite. I think that it actually requires confidence to express your emotions and talk about your problems and weaknesses. I think that having problems with that are a sign of lack of confidence and weakness. I have never been in a 24/7 relationship, so never had much problems with that, but I always talked with my subs like with the normal life partners.

Personally, I would maybe use the word strength instead of confidence. You can be confident in yourself and your emotions (and maybe this is what you’re referring to? Confidence in who you are?) but usually people are unsure in how the other person will respond. And that’s where I think a lot of the *** comes in. The uncertainty of how the person will view you. So the strength is in doing it anyway regardless of how you worry the other person will react. 

You also brought up relationships outside of kink, which I think is a good point. However that’s maybe part of the struggle when shifting to kink is that those norms and ideals of vanilla society are still very present. And generally in society, the person that is considered the “dominant” has to behave a certain way. That’s why it can be hard for men to break out of the stereotypes of showing emotions outside of the “acceptable” ones. Do people think there is an added pressure for a Domme to not show emotion because it is stereotypically a male role? Or no difference? 

[Trapdoor1]

Be respected

[Deleted Member]

To me being a dominant is not a role in which someone fakes it till they make it, necessarily. For me, the Dom should already know or has seen my insecurities or knows something that i have done that he/she can always remind me of to bring me back into a *** mental and emotional state...hoping that he/she does not bring g t all the way up to the front and put a spotlight on it and expose me infront of others. Either by camera or real time.

[Celestial-Succubus]

I believe that dom/mes do not have to be confident or strong all the time. They are human beings just the same as us and they need time to be able to be sad and express their emotions.

What a lot of people do not realize is that when you enter a d/s dynamic, as a sub you agree to take care of your dominant just the same as they care for you. They need attention and care just the same that a submissive would need caring for. Dom/mes also have a drop like subs so they do feel negative emotions just the same.

What I never understood is when I have talked to submissives before they always told me they wanted someone who wasn't shy, they needed to be strong, confident and non anxious but that just isn't realistic. Especially when it comes to male Dom's subs expect way too much from them sometimes. As a female sub I do not care if my Dom has a shy or nervous personality or if they were in tune with their emotions at all. In fact, I prefer a dom/me who is in tune with their emotions and expressing how they feel whether it is negative or not