Wanting to have sex with a trans woman wrong???

[ro****]

I've been told that wanting to sleep with a trans woman is wrong because it's fetishizing their sexuality. But isn't that just preference? I'm also not attracted to men, so am I bi??? This is honestly very confusing.

[mu****]

Of course not!!!!

[mu****]

Sorry, let me be more clear about my opinion. Honestly I think society makes it difficult for trans or anyone that’s different. Everyone has the right to have a fetish/preferences as long as you the person you are with does not mind.

Honestly you are thinking to much about it, does it matter to you if people think you are bi or straight or anything? Also technically you want a woman a Trans woman is a woman, so I wouldn’t think you are bi, just a man who sees a woman. Also trans women tend to be F’ing hot. Just my opinion.

It’s confusing cause you’re thinking too much about what others think or what are the rules, fuck-it all. Remember there only one true rule and that is consent and honesty.

You might not also be fetishising them, but instead could be the same curious that people have in non-monogamous relationships. It’s easy to judge and put labels on people and things, but what others think is not necessarily true or correct, or just half of what can be seen.

Hope this helps. And best to talk to trans women and see what they think. And if they think you are but don’t care as long as you treat them respectfully then that is between you and that lady.

[ey****]

It's not really "just a preference" you're fetishising people for their body parts non-consensually - and, in a lot of cases, it's body parts that people aren't happy with.

There's a difference between being attracted to someone who happens to be trans and being attracted to someone because they're trans.

[ey****]

Also, you're not bi; trans women are women.  

[Deleted Member]

This is not wrong at all, and you are not weird in any way. Just take your time, relax your mind, and be proud of noticing and admitting what you are going through at this moment.

Then, If you want to better understand what you are going through, I recommend you to have a look at *skoliosexuality* and *gynosexuality*.
I think it would be a good start for you and lots of people in our amazing community!

[Deleted Member]

Do what makes you happy , I've met some trans women who are very attractive

[Laurah]

The internet has a lot to answer for in this. As some trans people forgo the entire operation and continue as shemales or whatever the word for the reverse is. This is mostly in the porn industry, where they carve a living in that niche.
It's difficult when your personal fetishes/preferences align with something like that. Because the average trans person isnt happy with their body.. yet you get turned on by that idea..
If you find yourself enjoying intimacy with someone who's transitioning, it's important to talk about this stuff. Be open with your attraction. Not all relationships last forever. In my opinion, no relationship lasts forever. A relationship should only continue while both parties are happy/healthy.

[Deleted Member]

It’s your life so you should be able to do whatever you feel like it! Why you bother about what other might think? It’s not criminal or dangerous

[se****]

If the only sole reason why you want sex is because they're trans, then yes, it's fetishizing their sexuality.
Some people aren't into that

[RebelKittyKat]

Ask yourself if you would still want the person if they were fully transitioned, or decided not to. Maybe cross dressers are better for you. Or maybe you need to find a "for now" relationship with someone who is transitioning. But you need to be SUPER up front with that person and tell them exactly what you want and let them decide if they are ok with it. If they aren't, don't consider them a jerk for not wanting to be your fantasy.

[Deleted Member]

Just a question to clarify confusion that might arise here/already did. Is your attraction about them being a transgender, or about them being women with male sex organs? If it's the first, then yes, you're fetishizing their identity. But if you're just attracted to a woman with a penis, it's something different.

If you plan to do this in real life, make sure the person is content with their body, and likes it that way.

[ro****]

1 hour ago, SidoraxVonCreep said:

Just a question to clarify confusion that might arise here/already did. Is your attraction about them being a transgender, or about them being women with male sex organs? If it's the first, then yes, you're fetishizing their identity. But if you're just attracted to a woman with a penis, it's something different.

If you plan to do this in real life, make sure the person is content with their body, and likes it that way.

It's actually the latter, hence why im asking if that makes me bi...

[ey****]

2 hours ago, rockon2018 said:

It's actually the latter, hence why im asking if that makes me bi...

it makes you a chaser.

[ro****]

19 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

it makes you a chaser.

See, that's what I don't get. Some people think it's not a big deal and others think it's horrible. I can't help being attracted to that, what am I supposed to do? I'm asking this to know the right way to go about it without being brandished and called names.

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, rockon2018 said:

It's actually the latter, hence why im asking if that makes me bi...

Ok. Then it's fine. Maybe call it a "shemale", or "girl with a penis". A "transwoman" refers more to the transgender, which might be disrespectful, as some don't feel good about their body.

Well, since gender is no longer determinated by the sex organ, you're still attracted to a woman. So, you're still pretty much straight.

[mu****]

According to me everyone fetishises of some kind or the other at a fundamental level. If a person has a foot fetish doesn’t mean they are going to go want any feet, they might have criteria’s either physical or emotional. You need to ask yourself what and why you like it, will you like any person who is a shemale or would there need to be something more. Don’t try to fit yourself under an already existing umbrella to make sense of things. A straight vanilla males fetish might be a straight vanilla woman.

I love men who crossdress but I only want to have sex with my partner cross dressing not just any cross dressing Male. But I also do not look at them as being less manly or think a certain gender needs to dress or act a certain way.

When and how fetishising a certain kind of a person goes wrong:
This is from personal experiences. Most Indians men fetishise foreign women, I come from a community that migrated to India hundreds of years ago but a lot of men often have the nerve to tell me I’m not Indian and once my ex did and it broke my heart and it is very very frustrating when people mostly men think they can say what I am or not. I do use my ethnicity to flirt but never do I say I am not Indian or even think it, not do I do it with people I think are small minded or are harmfully ignorant.

I can give you more examples if you like.

Basically Who you are fundamentally as a person will dictate a lot about your fetish being ok or not, and not the other way around.

[mu****]

You are also not really going to get a straight forward answer to this cause there isn’t one. And you need to question yourself to understand yourself better, if it is difficult you should get intouch with a good sex therapist. Professional help can do wonders, remember they are not there to judge you but help you, and if they judge you get the fuck away from them. Or learn to be mindful and honest with yourself. Honestly life is not black and white like we are taught, very very very few things are that direct.

[ey****]

10 hours ago, rockon2018 said:

I can't help being attracted to that, what am I supposed to do? I'm asking this to know the right way to go about it without being brandished and called names.

So - this is the problem.   The thing that you are attracted to is largely the thing the person you are fetishising is uncomfortable with.  

One potential solution here might be to find a trans sex worker (they're not massively hard to find) and you can then have the experience.  At least the other person then gets something out of it.

 

[A_Switch]

On 7/25/2020 at 10:41 AM, eyemblacksheep said:

It's not really "just a preference" you're fetishising people for their body parts non-consensually - and, in a lot of cases, it's body parts that people aren't happy with.

There's a difference between being attracted to someone who happens to be trans and being attracted to someone because they're trans.

Could you please elaborate more.
For me I am interested in a Trans woman for her beauty and character just like any other woman with no interest in her penis (if we are talking about pre op). At the same time and I have to be honest, Trans woman has something different in building, voice and attitude; so there is for sure another aspect to it not sure what it is; so if you could elaborate more on your previous answer I would be thankful

[ey****]

2 hours ago, A_Switch said:

Could you please elaborate more.
For me I am interested in a Trans woman for her beauty and character just like any other woman with no interest in her penis (if we are talking about pre op). At the same time and I have to be honest, Trans woman has something different in building, voice and attitude; so there is for sure another aspect to it not sure what it is; so if you could elaborate more on your previous answer I would be thankful

So, I feel this is where it's important to tread carefully.

Trans women are often fetishised and seen as 'exotic' - this is an area in particular where porn is very unhelpful be it the whole "chicks with dicks" or something where their existence is seen as degrading.  There are those within the industry that may sell a fantasy (gotta pay the bills) but if you meet a trans person, they generally want to be seen for who they are and not some form of freakshow, abnormally or an "experience"

 So, for example, if we go back to the original post - the posters desire is based on wanting an "experience" - there's no interest in a person above "see what it's like" which is the whole fetishising thing I spoke about.

Of course, there are assorted traits (be they physical or personality) that someone finds attractive or desirable that, in their experience, are more commonly found in people who are trans - but the truth is, in my experience of trans women - there is a lot of variety there anyway.   

In the wider web, there are many many blogs and writings by trans women on their experiences - I would recommend a few googles for further reading, as their experiences are more valid, because it's their life experiences. 

[VersatileMarinewolf]

It is definitely not wrong it however is very addicting and amazing

[Flospet]

It is definitely not wrong.  I have had a lot of so called straight married men want to sleep with me.  They all say that TG women are typically more feminine then a alot of genetic girls. 

[Ka****]

OK, I'd like to add my 2 cents on this. 

If this doesn't fit with the topic, please forgive me. 

I'm a pre-op bi-sexual transgender female. I've had everything done surgically except the bottom due to long waiting lists for surgeons in my area (2 years now).  

Personally, I don't mind being someone's fetish.  I find it a turn on that someone is attracted to me because I'm Trans. However, I never had a problem with my genitals.  The only issue now is the hormones make it difficult to use them.  It's a part of my body that I was good with before I knew I was trans and that only changed after surgeries and after I had been on hormones for quite a while.  Even then the only issue was how potential partners would react. I've had some OK with me being Trans but uncertain about how or what to touch and for good reason. As stated in this thread already, not all pre-op trans-females are comfortable with their bodies. It's shameful to be in a body that doesn't match the person you feel you are.  Having their penis touched can and usually is a trigger.  I've spent weeks discussing how sexual activity works with myself personally before even meeting a partner.  First, because it's safer for me.  Second, not only do I not want to feel awkward, I don't want the other party to either.  A lot (not all) of pre-op trans women's penis' will function more like a vagina. Therfore need to be treated as such (vibrations work better than stroking) . I'm one of them. 

Please, if you do fetishize about being with any trans, female, male, or non-binary, do so with the understanding that the person you're interested in may not be comfortable with it. Be honest and open.  Talk to them about it respectfully.  It would be much better to ask someone if they are OK with it rather than it not being talked about and finding out they're not OK with it after spending time getting to know them, maybe developing feelings and more than likely hurting someone.  I belong to a few support groups and have spent many hours speaking with trans-females that deal with these very issues. A lot of them are OK with discussing their gender if they feel safe and are not being judged negatively. 

[Subslave6953511]

I think having sex with a trans woman has opened my mind for the possibilities of being able to stay out of societies social and mundane way of thinking. My experience was mostly a drunken night but I was introduced to a new way of thinking and feelings. I was hanging out one night with a girlfriend at one of her friends house. Mind you I knew that this house was going to have a lot of gay lesbian people. I didn't really care cause I was trying to hang with her. I never cared about anybody else and their sexual orientation. My mother is a lesbian. So I was fortunate to grow up with a better understanding of how the world worked in a sense. What I didn't expect was a lovely and sweet trans girl among us. My friend already knew her and introduced us. I had no clue. We all were talking and partying having our selves a good time. I leaned over and kissed her. She kissed me back. Needless to say things were getting a little bit heated between us. I remember Mary trying to tell me something but me and her friend stepped outside. My mind was already working on getting her naked lol. As any young man would. She stopped me before I got her pants down. I don't know why I stopped honestly. I had made my mind up already. She was going to be my next conquest. She hesitantly started to end things. I pushed her to continue. Then she said that she was hiding something. I didn't really care at the moment cause I knew that I would probably not see her again after that night. Then I some how convinced her to keep going. Now at this point I'm still oblivious. She pulled her pants off and I saw her cock. I was stunned at first but I didn't stop. Maybe the alcohol or maybe the hormones blinded me. Either way I didn't care. I pulled her closer and then she let me play with her. I got on my knees and began to suck her cock. I did that for a minute and then things took a turn. Rather I turned and let her pull my pants down. I remember her reaching around and stroking my cock. I let her stroke me for a while and turned to make out with her again. 😍. Things were getting a little fuzzy after that but I'll never forget what happened next. I don't know why I let her push me up against the side of the garage felt her hand pushing my head down a little bit more and spreading my legs so she could reach me. I heard her spit and then I felt her cock between my cheeks. I never stopped her and that night I was forever changed. I felt the warmth of her hands on my hips and her cock thrusting in and out of me. It kinda hurt but still I let her finish. I could feel her cumming inside me and her final push and then relief of her pulling out. The warmth of her cum was still between me dribbling down my leg. It hurt but I didn't care. It was exciting and exhilarating. The adrenaline rush was confusing but I'm glad she fucked me. I've never been the same and wouldn't change it either. My eyes and mind were opened to whole new world. I'm bisexual and proud of it. I'm still the same person but since then I have been with multiple men and feel like everyone else who hasn't is missing out. It doesn't matter who you have sex with. As long as you stand firm to your morals and sense of respect. It's not even a real deal. But I think people would be better off if they just let go of the hatred. I'm still an asshole. That's never changed. I was then and still am. My sexual orientation didn't change that .