The danger of porn with the internet generation.

[Deleted Member]

The lie that is Porn.

 

When I  was a paperboy and first thing before we delivered, we had to count every single newspaper and magazine to make sure we had the correct delivery. This was my first introduction to porn and I'm sure you can imagine my delight as for the first time I saw such exotic titles as "Razzle" and "Escort" to name just a couple. This was my first contact with the porn industry and one I have kept until this very day. Even now when I'm single my morning routine consists of coffee, laptop, wank sock 😊 and an orgasm to start the day.

 

Back then I also remember when the first sex shop opened in my hometown, the outrage in the local community, yet my pals and I fascinated by the delights we were denied from seeing. Eventually working up the courage to ask a regular who we had seen going in many times, as we used to hang around the area  " get us a magazine mate" which he did and this was my first introduction to Hardcore porn. Pics of actual penetration etc rather that the softer stuff Escort used to provide. Thinking back now I don't think it was a bad thing and for me part of a perfectly healthy way to grow up. Young lads fascinated with girls and their own penis, all the wonderful things it can do and the sensations it can bring. 

 

There was a film released early 80s called "I spit on your grave" and again once we heard about it, we made it our lives mission to get hold of a copy which we eventually did, on betamax video and when the parents were away overnight my pals and I sat down to watch this movie, which had been banned. It shook me badly and I'm not surprised, it was my first real experience of the harder sexual aspects of what some human beings can be and played on my mind for many months after. The fact is I wasn't ready for that level of sexual sadism,  yet I watched it again a year or so ago and it was very ordinary, and really didn't have the same effect it did almost 40 years ago.

 

Nowadays porn is everywhere, and it's as most of us know some quite extreme stuff. The problem as I see it now is no matter your age it's as accessible as ordering a t shirt from Amazon. A few words typed in a search engine and moments later there it is, thousands upon thousands of clips, pics, movies and some of the hardest stuff there is. As the years have rolled on I've seen a distinct change within the industry with such categories as "brutal" and "hate fuck." It's not surprising as what was once a very niche industry, has competition from all corners of the globe and these companies bid to outdo each other with harder and harder scenes in order to sell and make profit. Now as im primal they fit perfectly with the man I am today, yet I'm 52 and am fully aware this type of porn is merely the act of people who are being paid to perform a scene, aware completely that your average lass most definetly would not be impressed if I started with "hate fucking" as an introduction to me and my sexuality. 

 

The problem, the lie that porn now promotes, is that to these young impressionable minds that have so much to choose from and the ease of availability, this is normal, this is how "sex" is done. It has to be hard, rough, raw. Women are mere objects to be used and ***d, it promotes misogyny and angry sex. It twists those young minds or at least can do, into thinking it's acceptable and correct to treat badly and that, I see now is a huge problem. Is it any surprise young people mainly, although most definitely not always come onto sites like this and assume, wrongly, that a lot of the females are looking for exactly what they see on screen? For me there is no surprise at all as what we see, read, hear when we are young does indeed shape who we are later in life, and that for me is the lie that porn promotes, and in some cases can be a very very dangerous lie.

 

[ey****]

One of my general recommendations is to seek out a podcast called 'The Butterfly Effect' by Jon Ronson.   It's 7 half hour episodes, available for free.  It's mostly about PornHub and some of it's beginnings but a lot you can use to understand the modern industry.

For me, a lot of things now is trying to bolt a gate after a horse is gone - and this is why education is important.

I feel that pornography should be a part of sex education (in New Zealand they did do a campaign involving two porn stars) which explains things like the fast/deceptive edits - the cuts for breaks - that folk are friends really.

 

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, eyemblacksheep said:

One of my general recommendations is to seek out a podcast called 'The Butterfly Effect' by Jon Ronson.   It's 7 half hour episodes, available for free.  It's mostly about PornHub and some of it's beginnings but a lot you can use to understand the modern industry.

For me, a lot of things now is trying to bolt a gate after a horse is gone - and this is why education is important.

I feel that pornography should be a part of sex education (in New Zealand they did do a campaign involving two porn stars) which explains things like the fast/deceptive edits - the cuts for breaks - that folk are friends really.

 

A lot iof the harder stuff that I watch has interviews with the girls after, which I think makes perfect sense. To show them as they really are, normal lasses who just work in an unusual industry and it hammers hoke the point "its just a job and I'm perfectly fine". It for me is shocking though the lack of overview and restriction but the internet in it's size is and must be so difficult to police. Yep agree the horse is free now so education is the only viable option

[qu****]

Personally for me porn stopped doing anything for me years ago, magazine or movie, I guess partly when you've seen one you've see them all, but yes the younger generation are probably more aware with the internet and that, but I also feel that in "my day" it was really only lads that had sought it out, but now more girls do as well, and of course this has lead to sexting in the younger generation, so mobiles as well as the internet has fed this, making it more accessible, I mean can you imagine trying to do phone sex from a public phone box which was for many the only access to a phone they had, I feel more than porn, celebrity has fed this change, making it appear normal, and hearing how much cam girls can make, and how being a Domme at 18 (really??) can earn them, in their eyes, easy ***, or even the influx of girls seeking a daddy, promising to do anything to please, so yes a far more complex modern issue than many realise

[Deleted Member]

As a mother of two boys this has been a concern of mine. It’s very hard to police their Internet usageSo I’ve been very open with them about porn. We have talked about consent and the risk involved in some of the stuff they may see.
It is a worry knowing they can see ANYTHING at a touch of a button but all I can do is make it clear that it’s not real life and if something disturbs them or they have any questions they can talk to me about it. I’d like to see more education about porn in school sex ed.

[qu****]

The other thing now is where pornos were obviously acted, now they're done in real time with real people, not actors with a storyline, unfortunately BDSM features strongly in this

[Deleted Member]

26 minutes ago, pinky-bottom said:

As a mother of two boys this has been a concern of mine. It’s very hard to police their Internet usageSo I’ve been very open with them about porn. We have talked about consent and the risk involved in some of the stuff they may see.
It is a worry knowing they can see ANYTHING at a touch of a button but all I can do is make it clear that it’s not real life and if something disturbs them or they have any questions they can talk to me about it. I’d like to see more education about porn in school sex ed.

And that is key isn't it? Good parenting, those who accept the truth of what the internet is and face it fully with open communication. Sadly however that is not always the case as some prefer bury the head in the sand, pretend it's not there sort iof option. I was raised In a deeply religious household so everything I know, I had to learn outside the home. 

[Deleted Member]

15 minutes ago, quietlysure said:

The other thing now is where pornos were obviously acted, now they're done in real time with real people, not actors with a storyline, unfortunately BDSM features strongly in this

Yes agree and thats mainly the sort I seek, for that very reason. It's real and not fake performed by consenting adults. I've watched parts of clips where the lass is obviously not having fun, doing it only for the paycheck and it turns my stomach, to be turned off and then a little shame as if it wasn't for men like me they wouldn't make it in the first place . The real stuff is for me the best stuff.

[qu****]

True but kids seeing it will view it as normal, not seeing any nuances, hence leading to problems

[Deleted Member]

6 minutes ago, quietlysure said:

True but kids seeing it will view it as normal, not seeing any nuances, hence leading to problems

The whole point of the post, yet as Pinky says I feel quite rightly the onus now has to be on the parents to educate. Or as Eyem states in school. Times have and are changing, so attitudes need to change at the same speed.

Edited November 15, 2020 by Deleted Member

[qu****]

Most parents are still embarrassed/uncomfortable about s.e.x., so probably yes schools should be more active in educating about these matters, 

[Ky****]

9 minutes ago, quietlysure said:

True but kids seeing it will view it as normal, not seeing any nuances, hence leading to problems

Donny's 'I Spit on Your Grave' analogy may be right here, the problem is that like horror films porn, especially the hard core, has to be put into context so that viewers understand that these are actors playing a role, what happens between two or more actors on screen in a porn film must be made clear that its no more real than Jason Vorhees butchering those scantily clad women, and its neither a goal nor a target to be achieved, just watched for enjoyment as fiction

[Deviant_Ric]

Well done Donnykinkster for raising this discussion. Being just a year older than you I can completely relate to many of the same experiences, and do also feel strongly about the education of sex, sexual behaviour and activity, and the very real contribution of porn.
I am still a very avid fan of porn in just about all its many weird and wonderful forms but, and this is a very big but, am able to have a rational view due to having lived through the very same experiences as yourself. Very much ‘of the time’.

As pinky-bottom says, acceptance and knowledge of reality, consent etc would help so much and perhaps begin to turn back the increasing tide of (typically young) male misogyny and this belief that women are to be treated with less regard.
My lg recalls an earlier experience with a guy who thought he was right to text and message and call her with very explicit and abusive descriptions of what she should do for him... until she asked him if he would be ok for his daughter/*** etc to receive the same; his answer was classic... “don’t say that, that’s different!!” Unbelievable. And therein lies the problem, as has been said.

[qu****]

Or are we putting our own concerns on to children, just been reading and most *** males view it as a form of education, whilst the girls who enjoy it don't admit to it, and most are repulsed by it, also studies have also shown that the majority are well aware of differences between porn fantasy and reality, also saw a study from early 1990's to modern day and *** intercourse and sexual assaults have declined sharply whilst ***s using condoms has increased, it's still a case of boys will always seek porn out, so perhaps we should be giving the majority of ***s the credit they deserve

[Deleted Member]

So well said and I totally agree!

[Deleted Member]

35 minutes ago, quietlysure said:

Or are we putting our own concerns on to children, just been reading and most *** males view it as a form of education, whilst the girls who enjoy it don't admit to it, and most are repulsed by it, also studies have also shown that the majority are well aware of differences between porn fantasy and reality, also saw a study from early 1990's to modern day and *** intercourse and sexual assaults have declined sharply whilst ***s using condoms has increased, it's still a case of boys will always seek porn out, so perhaps we should be giving the majority of ***s the credit they deserve

A good point, when I was young porn was still very much taboo, hidden,and difficult to find, hence I see now. part of the fascination. As its in a way part of mainstream society now, the impact could be be less,  but the strength of it has also evolved which is for me the issue. The content  rather than the fact its porn in itself, as that is what has changed most, how strong it is. 

Edited November 15, 2020 by Deleted Member

[Bo****]

I'm curious, would you be the person you are today if you hadn't have watched I Spit On Your Grave at an early age?

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, Nastycuntspanker said:

Well done Donnykinkster for raising this discussion. Being just a year older than you I can completely relate to many of the same experiences, and do also feel strongly about the education of sex, sexual behaviour and activity, and the very real contribution of porn.
 

I think it's a vital part of growing, sexually healthy in all ways, suppose I'm a little jelous they have it so easy, rather than having to share the same mag, each taking turns for weeks on end 😂. It's not so much porn but the strength and how readily available it is. As others and yourself have stated education is the only way forwards with this one but for many, for some time yet, it's the elephant in the room and I can understand why

Edited November 15, 2020 by Deleted Member

[Deleted Member]

5 minutes ago, Bons said:

I'm curious, would you be the person you are today if you hadn't have watched I Spit On Your Grave at an early age?

Yes i think so, but I can't guarantee that and I understand the point you hint at. Did it awaken something within? Possible yes, to say otherwise would be lie as the simple answer is I just don't know. It shook me at the time but much later I did find myself masturbating with those images in my mind. 

[qu****]

The difficulties with education will come from those ***agers who already feel sexually different, most education will be focused on vanilla relationships, but run the risk of being seen to encourage kinky relationships if overly discussed, a lot of parents already get angry with what their kids are taught

[slutpuppy99]

3 hours ago, pinky-bottom said:

As a mother of two boys this has been a concern of mine. It’s very hard to police their Internet usageSo I’ve been very open with them about porn. We have talked about consent and the risk involved in some of the stuff they may see.
It is a worry knowing they can see ANYTHING at a touch of a button but all I can do is make it clear that it’s not real life and if something disturbs them or they have any questions they can talk to me about it. I’d like to see more education about porn in school sex ed.

pinky, my best advice is lock down the internet. kids will get past security. hell, even youtube has tiddies. take the wifi and make sure they dont have an ethernet cord.

kids dont need the internet.

[Bo****]

15 minutes ago, Donnykinkster said:

Yes i think so, but I can't guarantee that and I understand the point you hint at. Did it awaken something within? Possible yes, to say otherwise would be lie as the simple answer is I just don't know. It shook me at the time but much later I did find myself masturbating with those images in my mind. 

I can relate to being shaken by something that later might become influencing. Of course it doesn't necessarily do so.

I'm a generation more recent but I too have concerns about how today's children will receive what the world and the internet is likely to offer. Interestingly though while reading this conversation, those concerns are largely watered down by perspective.

I remember being in year 7 on a school coach trip to France. I wasn't a very outgoing or boisterous kid. We stopped by a fuel station and in a daring moment I bought a copy of Max Power mag genuinely showing more interest in the Vauxhall Nova spoilers than the nearly topless women while all the other boys reactions were much more "phwaww, look at her", but I took pride in that at the time, and is probably why I got away with buying/keeping it.

I don't think it's just what kids think is real or not real, it's what they feel is socially obliged or expected of them. Education is the solution to that, but complete education will mean complete openness to what there is to educate.

[Deleted Member]

16 minutes ago, quietlysure said:

The difficulties with education will come from those ***agers who already feel sexually different, most education will be focused on vanilla relationships, but run the risk of being seen to encourage kinky relationships if overly discussed, a lot of parents already get angry with what their kids are taught

And thats why Pinky hit the nail, she chooses to educate her lads, but that I think would be the exception. It is an issue, but sexual matters akways have been. Be some time yet before there is no taboo attached and I understand why.  

[Bo****]

I think it's sensible for younger children to have a restricted internet, but in an ideal world not older children/***agers. However not all parents can be relied upon to sufficiently educate their ***agers enough to let them navigate the internet themselves, that's where the real risk lies I feel.

[qu****]

Over countries views on sex is another thing, I remember a school trip to ypres in about 1984ish, I was about 12/13, went into one general shop and the adult mags were laid out with the newspapers and kids comics, more or less just on a table, but yet do they have the apparent problems we seem to have

Edited November 15, 2020 by quietlysure
Other not over