New To the Lifestyle

[Deleted Member]

Hi All

I'm new to the site and new to the lifestyle as well

In the real world, with the job i have, i cannot discuss the lifestyle and how to develop it with my peers,  so I've joined this site, hoping to find new friends (where i can ask questions or they can offer advice to me) without me feeling embarrassed about discussing these topics (if that makes sense)

I'm looking for advice how to develop my kinks and fetishes.  I think mine are pretty tame in the grand scheme of things, as I'm a lover of curves and a lover of feet.  I've taken the BDSM test and the results are Im a switch.  However, this lifestyle is so diverse, I would like to know more.  especially how to approach and begin to explore with my partner other kinks/fetishes that are out there

In the past, relationships have broken down because I've raised the subject - possibly because the other person never understood what i was trying to say or possibly i never said it correctly.

So, I'm asking are there any books, sites out there for beginners/newbies so that i can sit down with my partner to discuss the possibilities  as i dont want this to be a taboo subject with her

Thanks for taking the time to read this and I look forward to hearing from with any advice you have to offer

Regards

Kev

Edited December 2, 2020 by Deleted Member
typo

[ey****]

Exploring kinks and fetishes can be fun but I think something that's important to remember that just because a kink exists, doesn't mean you *have* to try it.

I think a first step is to think about, well... what do you want to try?

What makes you tick?

This might be kissing and caressing your partners feet.  Or, it might be braying them with a big stick.

It might be seeing someone in leather, latex, or pvc or this might not be that important.

Once you've an idea what interests you, it's a lot easier to raise with your partner.  Perhaps you want to try spanking, you could ask them to spank you, or ask if they'd mind spanking you.

So - it's definitely my recommendation to think about what you'd like to try with your partner first.

Good luck

 

[Deleted Member]

thanks for your response eyemblacksheep - I think I will take onboard what you've suggeested 

A lot of thinking is required - but i think suggesting talking to my partner is key and discuss what we would like to try

 

[pi****]

Remember after care is essential to all involved in your dynamic. It's not just for the submissive but the dominant as well. If you're exploring a foot dream/idea or curiosity proper after care for the owner of those tiny toes and for you too. As an example just lay together and talk what did you like or dislike ask your partner the same. Snuggle, hold each other, ect.

[Deleted Member]

6 hours ago, pixie3lf said:

Remember after care is essential to all involved in your dynamic. It's not just for the submissive but the dominant as well. If you're exploring a foot dream/idea or curiosity proper after care for the owner of those tiny toes and for you too. As an example just lay together and talk what did you like or dislike ask your partner the same. Snuggle, hold each other, ect.

Thanks pixie3lf - yea, that makes sense. will ensure this is included 

[highlandlass54]

You could join Fetlife and have a nose around. I found it useful in helping me decide what I was looking for.

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, highlandlass54 said:

You could join Fetlife and have a nose around. I found it useful in helping me decide what I was looking for.

Thanks Highlandlass - will defo check that out