Older Subs

[Ta****]

Are Doms interested in older Subs. I started the lifestyle later in life and have only had 1 Dom. That experience has not been good. I have been convinced no other Dom will want me if he disowned me so I have to lower myself to slave status until he feels I am worthy of more. He says I broke his trust when I messaged the girl he cheated with. I have forgiven him for cheating but he won't forgive me for messaging her and punishes me for every little thing. I am currently sporting bruises on top of bruises. I want to protect myself and know that I still have a chance in the lifestyle if I decide to give back my collar. What do the Doms in here say?

[Ta****]

It sounds more like a cycle of *** rather than a D/s dynamic.

As the s you have full power of consent. If this is not something you have consented to the. You need to move on.

There are many different D types. I can only speak for myself. I do not have a specific type but look at the personality. Their desire. Their wants. It is not an easy journey.

Use lessons learned. Take time. Talk to any possible D and be clear about your needs and limits. It is your mind and your body.

[li****]

Absolutely we are

[Vl****]

Run. He's not a Dom. He's an ***r. You have the power. You will find a real Dom.

[ha****]

Sorry your bad experience,pity you’re so far away,would make you my sub,seems to be an interesting woman

[Ta****]

Awwww lovely as an older sub who also started later in life, of course there are genuine Doms out there that want us. Im afraid you appear to have someone who is abusing his role & you're not getting much of a say. This lifestyle is based on trust, communication, respect & honesty & you dont appear to be getting any of that also the consensual aspect I feel you didnt consent to his behaviour towards you & trust me you are worth so much more. You seem so unhappy & thats not how you should feel. Im sorry you are going through this but please be strong & do what is right for you.

[Be****]

This sounds toxic. Leave.
He is using being a dom to *** you. Total fake.

[Fu****]

Bruises on top of bruises that you aren't happy about sounds like ***

[Bctazz]

He is an ***r you need to leave!

[GreyHog]

Very unhealthy dynamic. Once trust is lost, consent only leads to ***. Lose him and find a respectful, patient dominant.

[Sw****]

This is *** not domination. Leave.

[Deleted Member]

Please leave him. You deserve more than this. If a friend the same age was in the same position what would you say to her?

[Ch****]

Get away from him asap

[Ta****]

I got punished this morning for not reacting to pur daughter breaking a cup the way he wanted. I put her emotional well being before anything

[Deleted Member]

Tons of Doms that enjoy older subbies. This "Disowned" Bullshit I keep coming across is ridiculous. That's not a thing in any Kink Community I have experienced. Unless a person is a predator/Consent violator/Danger to others. Maybe an online thing? Don't sweat that. I would say keep the collar as a reminder of a bad Dom, and leave them. But realistically, yes, give the collar back and continue your journey.

[Vi****]

This is not power dynamic but rather ***. You will find a real dom, age has nothing to do with the collar.

[Deleted Member]

Yeah this isn't right . You have a say in what happens even if hes the dom. You need to find someone safer

[Ta****]

He knows I still love him and that we will never be out of each other's lives because of our daughter and he knows it hurts me

[Curiously_Exploring]

I only have one word for you... LEAVE! 🥺

[Curiously_Exploring]

54 minutes ago, Tazbaby75 said:

I got punished this morning for not reacting to pur daughter breaking a cup the way he wanted. I put her emotional well being before anything

You need to put YOUR emotional wellbeing before anything, equally with your daughter's.
This does not sound like a safe relationship for either you or your daughter, from the glimpse into your life that I am getting 😔

[Olfashionmale]

A dominant has to be worthy of your trust. Through this site and others like it, you will be able to find the person who is your complement in the dynamic. As a dom myself, I have three principles which I share, Namely: 
1)You and I are equals except when, through discussion, we agree on those areas where I take the lead and control.  It is important to remain equals outside of that so that you can set your boundaries and give truthful feedback. 
2) Nothing will happen between us until we have had one or preferably several purely social dates somewhere public and safe, say a nice cafe where we can chat over our hopes, expectations , doubts, fantasies , dislikes and limits.In doing so, hopefully , we will build a rapport together and be easy in each other's company.
3)Honest, open communication at a high level is important. How can we ever learn to read one another, anticipating each other's desires and needs unless you can tell one another openly if you disliked or enjoyed something. That way, the dynamic will evolve; either remaining as friends or develop into a mutually loving,  fulfilling and enduring relationship. 
Cut your losses, think about what you want and move on. 

 

[Ar****]

You've been, and continue to be, taken advantage of. He is the dishonest one, and I strongly suspect is using your naïvety and newness to the lifestyle to manipulate you.

You don't have to "lower" yourself for anybody or do anything you don't want.

Whilst there are many male "Doms" (cough) who are only interested in younger partners, that in itself is a red flag; the more authentic ones tend to be more interested in other aspects or at the very least the whole picture of a potential partner.

Please walk away and don't allow yourself to continue being abus3d.

Edited November 10 by Aranhis

[kr****]

That’s bulkshit he isn’t a dom he is an ***r.. fucking take that collar and put a match to it ,,,
I wouldn’t give it back I would burn it … thsts not how this shit goes but there are too many fake ass doms who are strait ***rs hiding behind the status … doms are suposta take care of there subs .. subs give themselves to us and in return we praise them and put them on a high regard … I’m a sadist and a degrader in my role but afterwards it’s
I’m so proud of u
You made daddy so fucking happy .. I comb there hair
Use loving caring aftercare
Because it’s a honor for me to have a sun gibe me that level of trust … it’s a sacride connection that goes so far behond sex

[CopperKnob]

To be frank, having reading this and your other post on the forums, the last thing you need to be worrying about is a future D. It sounds like you first need to ensure your safety and then work on your self esteem. You arent in a M/s or D/s relationship right now, as others have said you're in an ab@sive one.

[De****]

Are these bruises consensual? Is any of this consensual? This sounds like ***. You can and will find someone else