Frenzy

[Deleted Member]

Hi all.

New to this site but not to these cravings and wants that have plagued most of my adult life. It feels now, as if I'm really starting to see the truth of who I am, and it's as if I can breath for the first time in many years. I have been for some time chatting to a Dom and things are progressing well. However I sometimes feel  a little overwhelmed by it all, and at times can't think of anything else. It's as if sometimes my vanilla life, which is very important to me as I'm no 24/7 has faded to not exist at all. He keeps trying to keep me grounded and aware of what is happening.

He assures me that this is perfectly normal and calls it "frenzy." Now he has helped me understand so much so far but has tasked me with reaching out to the community which he assured me there is on this site. To seek different opinions and viewpoints firstly on what frenzy is, and secondly how to deal with it a little better. He wants me to learn for myself to some extent, and as he says his opinion and view is only his, and others may be able to along with him help me understand a little better what right now I'm feeling. A broad view he assures me is better to learn, rather than just taking the opinion of one man, and can open up differing opinion on what is to be frank, something I've never felt before. So please all who may read what does frenzy mean to you and how did you deal with it, if you felt it in the first place?

Many thanks
May.

[MasterSub_069]

Welcome

[Ra****]

Hi, welcome to the community.

I never experienced sub "frenzy" but I can relate in ways that when you're introduced to something new, such as BDSM... It can be extremely over whelming at first and sometimes throughout. You're so excited about this new found you, that you put everything into being a good sub to your Dom.

There may be others here who can add more to this.

Best of luck to you, May.

~Kore☪

[ey****]

I remember the first times I had frenzy - and - yep.

So, yes.  You've maybe had desires, fantasies, whatever - and then you meet a Dominant to explore with.  And these all become real.  And there's the possibility of more!  You start thinking about what you can do that you have thought of; what exists that you haven't!

You might start asking yourself all these ridiculous questions about every hypothetical scenarios - as so much becomes possible and more!

A lot of this isn't helped that, well, kink is addictive.  The little endorphins that get released are addictive!   And sometimes, suffering frenzy, can lead some - particularly subs - to making bad decisions.  Like pushing too far to 'please their Dominant' in the hope of play or interaction - or, in some cases, jumping into play with someone else without proper vetting.

So; firstly. Understanding that this is frenzy is a good step.  You can then realise these feelings are natural, where they come from, and you shouldn't rush to act on them

Embrace the moment! It's good to have things to look forward to - but you don't need to everything all at once.

Time is on your side,  take it slowly. And don't do anything until you're ready.

[LanceH]

It is kind of like being a kid in a candy store with a pocket full of ***, with parents who have put a limit on you. Life is the parent, putting limits on what you can do. Your an adult who should be able to do what you like, which is the pocket full of ***. Just take time and realize that you have time to explore and experience this wonderful world.

[Deleted Member]

Hi May,

I definitely think I went through the same thing you are. I'm very new to kink and have only been exploring for a few months. I was lucky enough to find a dom that I clicked with quite quickly and felt like I wanted to do everything I'd fantasised about for years, straight away. My dom definitely keeps me grounded and reminds me it's a marathon not a sprint so we take things slowly but do add new things each time. He needed time to learn about my boundaries and make sure I'm safe during play. Just enjoy what you're experiencing and there's plenty of time to do everything you want to. Feel free to send me a message if you want to talk further x 

[Deleted Member]

I love that your Dom has not only identified how you’re feeling, but suggested you ask others for advice. That is an awesome thing to do for a newbie sub. I didn’t identify frenzy until a year or so later by accident. I remember feeling quite ***. I couldn’t eat. Couldn’t sleep. I was jumpy and had trouble focussing. I felt completely at sea. I didn’t deal with it because I didn’t know what was happening and the “Dom” just egged me on. I did have a kinky friend I’d met at the same time and he did help hugely just because I could bounce things off him. He was a voice of reason. Hope that helps.

[Deleted Member]

55 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

I love that your Dom has not only identified how you’re feeling, but suggested you ask others for advice. That is an awesome thing to do for a newbie sub. I didn’t identify frenzy until a year or so later by accident. I remember feeling quite ***. I couldn’t eat. Couldn’t sleep. I was jumpy and had trouble focussing. I felt completely at sea. I didn’t deal with it because I didn’t know what was happening and the “Dom” just egged me on. I did have a kinky friend I’d met at the same time and he did help hugely just because I could bounce things off him. He was a voice of reason. Hope that helps.

Thankyou so much , all these comments have helped me massively. being so new thse are all feelings iv not had before , i have had lust in previous vanilla relationships but this has been completely different. 

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, Sazzie0188 said:

Hi May,

I definitely think I went through the same thing you are. I'm very new to kink and have only been exploring for a few months. I was lucky enough to find a dom that I clicked with quite quickly and felt like I wanted to do everything I'd fantasised about for years, straight away. My dom definitely keeps me grounded and reminds me it's a marathon not a sprint so we take things slowly but do add new things each time. He needed time to learn about my boundaries and make sure I'm safe during play. Just enjoy what you're experiencing and there's plenty of time to do everything you want to. Feel free to send me a message if you want to talk further x 

I feel very much the same , lucky I have found someone I click so well with but I do have that overwhelming feeling that I want to do it all immediately ( as soon as lockdown ends ha ) I will definitely pop you a message It would be nice to talk to a like minded submissive 

[Deleted Member]

6 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I remember the first times I had frenzy - and - yep.

So, yes.  You've maybe had desires, fantasies, whatever - and then you meet a Dominant to explore with.  And these all become real.  And there's the possibility of more!  You start thinking about what you can do that you have thought of; what exists that you haven't!

You might start asking yourself all these ridiculous questions about every hypothetical scenarios - as so much becomes possible and more!

A lot of this isn't helped that, well, kink is addictive.  The little endorphins that get released are addictive!   And sometimes, suffering frenzy, can lead some - particularly subs - to making bad decisions.  Like pushing too far to 'please their Dominant' in the hope of play or interaction - or, in some cases, jumping into play with someone else without proper vetting.

So; firstly. Understanding that this is frenzy is a good step.  You can then realise these feelings are natural, where they come from, and you shouldn't rush to act on them

Embrace the moment! It's good to have things to look forward to - but you don't need to everything all at once.

Time is on your side,  take it slowly. And don't do anything until you're ready.

Thankyou so much for your replies 

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, May_May_Sub said:

Thankyou so much , all these comments have helped me massively. being so new thse are all feelings iv not had before , i have had lust in previous vanilla relationships but this has been completely different. 

I’m glad. Some great advice from people here. I agree that frenzy is quite a different feeling from lust. It doesn’t feel very safe, which is discomforting.

[Leisa]

Hi May. There’s a great article on here from last summer all about frenzy. Myself and my old Dom did a munch on the topic. While not specifically for frenzy a drop kit is helpful as it deals with self care and focus. A good portion of us will experience frenzy at one time or another and it’s vital to recognize and address it before it gets out of hand. Frenzy can be dangerous if it isn’t addressed. If you need anything please feel free to reach out.

[Deleted Member]

13 hours ago, Leisa said:

Hi May. There’s a great article on here from last summer all about frenzy. Myself and my old Dom did a munch on the topic. While not specifically for frenzy a drop kit is helpful as it deals with self care and focus. A good portion of us will experience frenzy at one time or another and it’s vital to recognize and address it before it gets out of hand. Frenzy can be dangerous if it isn’t addressed. If you need anything please feel free to reach out.

I remember that Leisa, good stuff it was!