Stop settling

[th****]

15 minutes ago, AtaraxianDreams said:

“Stop settling” hahaha oh… you’re like in your 20s huh? Everyone settles. Everyone. Yes even you. It’s part of a mature life and growing up.

I don’t have to convince you. Give it ten years. You’ll be right here too I supernuktra mega promise.

The reason you look around and everyone seems to be settling isn’t because you’re the unique super mega genius who figured out how love works.

It’s because that’s how life goes. And you’re heading for the exact same place even if you think you’re not. I super promise. I was 22 once as well you’re coming here with all of us “settlers” sure as sunshine wet as rain it’s called growing up. And you’re not a genius for saying what if I don’t get old?! You’re a fool for thinking you’re exempt from the way of the world.

I would rather be alone than with someone I hated. I was in a relationship last year with someone who wasn't right for me, but I was settling because I didn't think I deserved better. My health was being impacted consistently, and my boss noticed a substantial increase in my stress. That ain't worth it, and realizing that is actually growing up

[At****]

If you’re in your thirties and still struggling over the concept of yeah you’re gona “settle” beyond your ***age idealistic hopes. Yes you’re going to settle your partner will be imperfect. You will settle. If you’re actually 40 and this is a difficult point of discussion for you as opposed to to simply how all life works. You’re late to the party. Grow up. You have to “settle” everyone does. Toa ***ager that means not dating far chicks. To an adult that means your gona have to allow your partner to be imperfect and love the best parts of them anyway the concept of never settle however is self autofellatio foolishness.

[Sa****]

3 minutes ago, theolen said:

I would rather be alone than with someone I hated. I was in a relationship last year with someone who wasn't right for me, but I was settling because I didn't think I deserved better. My health was being impacted consistently, and my boss noticed a substantial increase in my stress. That ain't worth it, and realizing that is actually growing up

Tis true.

[At****]

5 minutes ago, theolen said:

I would rather be alone than with someone I hated. I was in a relationship last year with someone who wasn't right for me, but I was settling because I didn't think I deserved better. My health was being impacted consistently, and my boss noticed a substantial increase in my stress. That ain't worth it, and realizing that is actually growing up

Oh I would never say be with someone you hated or realized was unhealthy in fact I’d argue my position was that you should NOT settle on this person just because they accepted you seemingly and were there and let you date them. In fact no you should not settle on them you’re absolutely completely right to decide you deserve better and this is unhealthy and to leave and seek better. So I think we are agreeing. Growing up was not settling it was seeking healthy better happy which you deserved right?

[At****]

But simply settling meaning choosing an imperfect partner is not it either. Your partners gona have flaws. You’re gona think you deserve better. You’re gona want better. At some point it’s time to stop hunting and just pick someone to be happy with

[ey****]

54 minutes ago, AtaraxianDreams said:

just pick someone to be happy with

But that person can also me yourself.

This is the problem, and the point.  A lot of people end up settling for someone through *** of being alone, or because they feel they should be with someone, or told they should - so on, so forth

This isn't a case of "well, they're not perfect - no one is; but I'm happy" - which is tolerable.  But stuff where people settle for stuff where they're not happy. Where things in their life aren't met. And it ends up wasting time in unhappy relationships.   And, yeah - the amount of people (particularly guys) who come out of relationships in their 50s or whatever who are then very... "so I never got chance to explore my kinks cos my wife wouldn't let me" and it's, so you've been unhappy for years but rode out a relationship that ended anyway.  How did that benefit either person?

[in****]

Who we are to decide what's better or not to another person? I always look as an outsider to my friends relationship. It is hard to say for sure if they are happy enought or not.

Because we can only decide for ourselves, it is hard to say too...if it is enought. If I already have the respect, the attention and affection...it is enought? If we are too greedy...can we have all we want? It is only one person that can give you all you need?
I believe I have enought, but I want more...what should I do? Lol 😆