A Woman's Perspective on FET: "I'm not finding anyone..."

[Be****]

@beffi you are correct. If you open a female profile with some skin pictures (not much just showing %60 of your skin) you will get like 100s of messages. That show app demographics are imbalanced

[no****]

Thanks for the perspective. I’ll take this to heart.

[Ka****]

5 hours ago, Tendeloveandcare said:

Honor and move on, stop registering as disgust. That's a personal choice.

You’re right. It is a choice. She’s made her choice. She has no obligation to complement or appreciate. I could see offering a correction if she was chastising or diminishing someone, but she just said it’s an overly saturated market and it’s not that interesting anymore. She didn’t say she was disgusted, just uninterested.

[Ro****]

From a woman's POV, I agree with all, just one thing, daily pics, while its good to have variety and more than a few, I don't think a picture a day on a profile is necessary, updating those are definitely a positive thing.

[Be****]

I know that I personally answer a lot more messages because I'm just looking for fun and video to send my long distance boyfriend and Sir. And they encourage me to be slutty, as long as I'm safe.

[Sw****]

Lets be honest there is no trick from a womans perspective....the facts are that you will wake up to 30 new messages, while we wake up to 30 messages sent with no response or even read receipts...I think men fully understand that women arent the biggest fan of D pics but this is a fetish app its called FET and unexpected exposure may be their thing...and of all the "other apps" im open to hearing which one promotes sex and sexual encounters more than this one does...i really think when you come to apps like this one you should come with a broader perspective because contrary to what you may believe this is a SEX app

[Ve****]

Well said!

[UK****]

1 hour ago, SwagIsCrazy said:

Lets be honest there is no trick from a womans perspective....the facts are that you will wake up to 30 new messages, while we wake up to 30 messages sent with no response or even read receipts...I think men fully understand that women arent the biggest fan of D pics but this is a fetish app its called FET and unexpected exposure may be their thing...and of all the "other apps" im open to hearing which one promotes sex and sexual encounters more than this one does...i really think when you come to apps like this one you should come with a broader perspective because contrary to what you may believe this is a SEX app

Women frequently tell us, "we don't want D pics".  Feel free to carry on ignoring them (and in most countries creating a criminal offense).  This IS a sex related site but it's also one that's based on the premise of consent.  However, bottom line, if you ignore the 'help' women offer, don't then complain that all your messages go unanswered.

[im****]

2 hours ago, SwagIsCrazy said:

Lets be honest there is no trick from a womans perspective....the facts are that you will wake up to 30 new messages, while we wake up to 30 messages sent with no response or even read receipts...I think men fully understand that women arent the biggest fan of D pics but this is a fetish app its called FET and unexpected exposure may be their thing...and of all the "other apps" im open to hearing which one promotes sex and sexual encounters more than this one does...i really think when you come to apps like this one you should come with a broader perspective because contrary to what you may believe this is a SEX app

Your response actually highlights the issue perfectly.

Kink is a psychological and communicative discipline, not something defined by sex alone. After years in this lifestyle and formal training, it’s frustrating to see it reduced to something so shallow.

Women who want something casual are usually very clear about it. The rest of us expect men to read, understand, and engage with our minds, not just our photos. If someone can’t do that, they’re not approaching the lifestyle or the woman, with any real respect.

[ho****]

To the men whose rebuttal to the OP is "But this is a SEX SITE !",

Please, please, sit down with a savvy neurosomatic therapist and unravel the tangled origins of your Madonna/whore cognitive complex.

Once you gentlemen reconcile that dissonance -- that a woman's sexuality (and desire for sex) does not negate her personhood, nor release you from the obligation of being a person *to* her -- you will all lead happier lives and enjoy considerably more success with the fairer sex.

[ey****]

2 hours ago, SwagIsCrazy said:

Lets be honest there is no trick from a womans perspective....the facts are that you will wake up to 30 new messages, while we wake up to 30 messages sent with no response or even read receipts...I think men fully understand that women arent the biggest fan of D pics but this is a fetish app its called FET and unexpected exposure may be their thing...and of all the "other apps" im open to hearing which one promotes sex and sexual encounters more than this one does...i really think when you come to apps like this one you should come with a broader perspective because contrary to what you may believe this is a SEX app

This is exactly why you're single.

[sc****]

Can also add on to this to NOT request for private gallery immediately and without asking.

[Whimsy]

While over the last year most of what I’ve seen have been purely sexual postings (by way of images) I personally am more drawn to a Dominant who has depth beyond simply wanting to tie me up and “use” me. At least in the world of power exchange, this depth is very attractive - and while it requires more patience than most people tend to have in life… it yields nice results. (For me, in what I’m seeking.)

[Sw****]

36 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

This is exactly why you're single.

Sir your shirt says sock sniffer

[Sw****]

Also not once did I say it was ok to send unwanted dick pics nor did I say anything about disregarding consent...if you read between the lines all I was saying is look where we are most of you probably get dick picks in your messenger so why wouldnt you get them here...and yea every kink may not be sexual but....one of said women here for casual are pretty clear about that why is it a problem if men are?

[ey****]

15 hours ago, Whimsy said:

He politely asked me this question: "I'm not finding people here... what's the trick from a woman's perspective?"

I will say a little bit actually on that bit.

I have seen guys ask this on here and elsewhere and - it kinda is something that, especially when asking someone direct, is placing time and labour on them to do something which is googable.  Like, I just googled "how do I improve my chances on a dating site?" and as well as assorted blogs you do get the modern day "AI overview" which has everything from some tips on profile pics, to bio tips and pit falls to even tips on creating messages. Plus, also general conduct (use apps/sites relevant to your interest, try 2-3, and crucially Take Breaks: If you feel burnt out or bitter, take a break from the apps.) 

But the answer is nearly always going to be specific to what that particular lady would like (though I agree with the points in the post) 

Though the feeling is always that the guys want some form of magic wand or way to beat "the system" and that a reality is that if the guy did everything you specified and then returned to your inbox 6 months later even though he's followed advice to a tee, there's no certainty you'd be interested in him and you put out the points 

[ey****]

20 minutes ago, SwagIsCrazy said:

 

Sir your shirt says sock sniffer

it does, yes. I also have other t-shirts, I should possibly update my profile pic with one of my many other t-shirts.    

But like, women repeatedly speak against dick pics, and there's always some guy trying to defend his right to cyberflash (which, could well end up with him defending that right in court, since it's a criminal offence in many territories) while my t-shirt might not be everyone's cup of tea, it's not an offence and not quite as divisive.   

It has had me a few messages (like women messaging ME) saying they love the shirt.  Some of which I went on to play with.

And also while wearing at fetish events does become somewhat of an icebreaker. 

 

[Ka****]

32 minutes ago, SwagIsCrazy said:

Also not once did I say it was ok to send unwanted dick pics nor did I say anything about disregarding consent...if you read between the lines all I was saying is look where we are most of you probably get dick picks in your messenger so why wouldnt you get them here...and yea every kink may not be sexual but....one of said women here for casual are pretty clear about that why is it a problem if men are?

What you said was “men fully understand that women arent the biggest fan of D pics but this is a fetish app its called FET and unexpected exposure may be their thing... i really think when you come to apps like this one you should come with a broader perspective because contrary to what you may believe this is a SEX app”

I think those of us who read your post understood “you should come with a broader perspective” to suggest the problem was with those on the receiving end of the dick pics rather than the men sending dick pics to women who aren’t the biggest fans.

Even this second attempt, you’re doubling down on everyone chilling out about unwanted and unconsented to sexual contact (you’re already getting them, so it’s fine to continue that behavior in a community that values consent). It’s not hard to ask “would you like to see my dick?” That’s all that’s needed.

Also, that’s a super broad generalization about women. Plenty of us enjoy a nicely done dick pic. Further, the op didn’t say she was offended by them, but you seemed to read “it is just not sexy to me” as some sort of condemnation. She’s saying she’s bored of them. And some of us might be frustrated by the small pool of men that want something compatible with what we want, but I’m not seeing anything that said there’s something wrong with men wanting something casual.

[jinxed]

21 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Though the feeling is always that the guys want some form of magic wand or way to beat "the system" and that a reality is that if the guy did everything you specified and then returned to your inbox 6 months later even though he's followed advice to a tee, there's no certainty you'd be interested in him and you put out the points 

This is very true as so many things have to come together for it to click. It all boils down to individual taste, so while for me being real and knowing about spelling and punctuation are a definite must-have, someone else might enjoy a person who puts on a big show and might not mind the fif***th spelling mistake. 
Still, I could imagine (and it is reflected in the women's answers in this thread) that most of the points made in the OP are basic expectations that most women have. So reading them and taking them to heart surely can't hurt? 

[Sw****]

For the ladies I appreciate your responses and perspectives I wasnt trying to be dismissive I was just calling it how I saw it. Im basing off my experiences online, real life connections arent an issue...