A Woman's Perspective on FET: "I'm not finding anyone..."

[Ra****]

I'll chip in from my perspective. For a long long time I was on the internet on sites like this looking for a cis woman that was into a girl like me. But do you want to know what actually made the biggest difference?

GET OUT! Get out into the real world, Go to Munch's, Go to fetish events, Go to sex clubs. Go to the places these women go. Now that I go out and about in public I have met many many women that are not on sites like this but they still enjoy the dynamic. They are likely driven away by desperate men that barrage them with messages but when they go out to these events in person they can vet and communicate and see if there's a vibe right away.

I can't stress this enough. If you can't find what you're looking for don't just hide in your house. Get out there and meet people and make friends in the community.

[Ni****]

Your profile does leave too much to guess. More visibility on your face, body type, and style would help people match to you.

First and foremost, this is a fetish-based connection site. People need to know if you fit their attraction. (No, I know not everyone needs looks as part of their attraction, but that is less common in males than one would hope to believe)

Your Bio needs more depth as to what youre looking for, and what attracts you.

There is just too much guessing.

[Be****]

13 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I guess another thing. Apologies if this has been raised on the thread already, but

Yep - guys complain about women who are not serious, won't meet up, flake, etc.  all of which can suck if you think you're doing everything right (and it's easier to blame the other person)

but, like, I've been about a bit - and there's been plenty of women I know or have known in that time who've....

Talked to guys who've not disclosed they're married.   Which either then ends in them trying to cheat, or just talking to fap off while their wife is in bed

or those without a partner, who are happy to talk up and wank off.  

Those where when it's come to meeting have found the guy won't do calls first, and/or shuns the women's suggested meeting places for no logical reason

And those where the woman has been stood up.

Or where they have met, and maybe it's just a coffee or maybe it's led to sex/play/whatever - and then the woman got home to find she's blocked by the guy everywhere.

We need to kinda get away from the notion that it's "only" hard for men.  

Yeah, you think you made a connection and the vibe was great and then they simply disappear. The worst is when they're like I'll message you when I get home so that you know I made it safely cuz of course I asked that and then not even that. So then I'm worried about them that they're lying dead in a ditch somewhere..

[vo****]

Yesterday at 09:58 AM, west-Antonio said:

You are right. I stopped using this App because the first person I interacted was looking for someone with experience. I wanted our minds to connect first before the physical aspect but she thought otherwise, I’m single but I won’t stop searching.

I like your devil's advocate here because I don't disagree with what you say back if you wish she was coming from I've spent two decades away my heart and mind connect people and end up with people who only want what they like in the bedroom will not look into what I like and the few who have been willing to look into what I like in the bedroom or more submissive than me I am not dominant and if I have to dominate my partner in the bedroom I have no interest in them in the bedroom I've been a relationship that has been bedroom activity free for the last 6 years because of that. so I mean if she's had even an ounce of some more experience I can see why that would be important for her now does that make a great match up with you clearly not and that is fine but I think all three are important mind, heart and preference

[vo****]

Yesterday at 10:10 AM, DumpThatLoadGuy said:

For clarity. Mature, confident, physically attractive women don't talk a tough game behind the keyboard. They walk the walk, and are actually here to make progress and meet IRL. They're confident, not intimidated by a good looking alpha, She demonstrates her desires and is ready to be mounted by me to Dump That Load Deep inside, while she squirts all over her hardwood floors. This is from my own personal experiences on here. The ones who actually walk the walk are scarce.

oh yes again what is it with men and the alpha around but don't get me wrong it can determ me when done correctly but not every woman is trying to submit to alpha Male pressure said 90% of what we see from the alpha male community is that women should behave the way they did in the 1800s I'm sorry most women nowadays don't agree with that and this is why most alpha males are still single

[vo****]

20 hours ago, DumpThatLoadGuy said:

The Key word here In your comment is "degrade". This is a "degrader" and "degradee" site. Make sense will ya.

I'm sorry not all of us who like being degraded also there's a time and place for that even the women I do know that enjoy that do not enjoy it in everyday activities

[Sh****]

As a few people already mentioned, don’t dismiss filling out one’s profile description! As a woman, I also get a lot of traffic on my profile and incoming messages from men pile up. Funnily enough though, one day I stumbled upon another person’s profile and he had a description that really matched the energy I’m looking for and kinks that overlapped with mine — so I messaged him first! Text conversations went well; sex actually did not make up the majority of the conversation. We met up in person for coffee and have since been enjoying exploring our kinks together, including very heavy ***/*** play. Getting to know each other as people and building trust first has made the sexual aspect quite lovely and exciting!

[Sh****]

*the words that got censored were de-grad-a-tion and hum-il-i-a-tion 🤪

[am****]

Tuesday at 12:02 PM, An_Irish_Queen said:

Aw gross...."alpha"? 🤢 You're a walking red flag boyo! THATS why the women who allow you to "mount" them are so few & far between.

Your childish attempt at forming a narrative in order to protect your ego is...at worst, dangerous, & at best, pathetic.

Mature, confident, physically attractive women, know their worth, and know how to identify a red-pill fool from the safety of behind their screen. After all, what is the No.1 risk to a woman's life in the modern age....MEN. There is NO denying that statistic.

You really should have more sense for your age 😑

Have fun with the male loneliness epidemic 😅 I have a feeling it won't get much better for you. So keep stomping your feet and trying to tell any woman or man in earshot, that you're a "big tough alpha guy, and you must respect my authority".

This is such a shock, I really was expecting a more emotionally intelligent take from "Dump That Load Guy". The world is full of surprise and disappointment

[am****]

Sunday at 06:13 PM, scouring4 said:

Can also add on to this to NOT request for private gallery immediately and without asking.

I've actually come across this with someone else and while I don't discount the frequency of pervs some of it might come from misunderstanding and a possible Fet bug. For example, I don't know if you know *all* your pics are hidden, even the (probably?) SFW ones so we don't know you look like. If that's intentional or not, I don't know.

That's what happened with the person I met and they don't know how to fix it. So, I don't know, they could be pervs, but at least some could just be wanting to see what you look like. But I'd think they should still at least ask themselves instead of hitting the request button, like the bare minimum of politeness.

[Bu****]

I really hope they'll listen to this advice

[mo****]

I guess I can fully agree with you because I miss respectful, cordial hospitable as anyone can be and it’s either no response or people are very judgmental because of my complexion