NSA and kink

[Fr****]

My brain can not comprehend how NSA and a kink related situation even fit together!!! Someone explain it to me!

Kink/bdsm needs discussions, boundaries, trust & lots of communication! If it’s just sex, then why even be on a BDSM/kink site?

[iv****]

I could only really see if both parties wanted to play but were too busy to commit I’m not fully sure though. I land more on your side but maybe setting expectations like that is better than nothing

[le****]

Care to explain the abbreviation?

[sz****]

You can't really have that. Unless it non sexual

[ey****]

it's not stuff that is mutually exclusive.

Also just because something is NSA, doesn't mean it doesn't respect boundaries or involve discussions.

I guess, for example, if you go to a fetish event and indulge in pick-up play that is a form of NSA.  You agree to play, what you will do, you play, go through any aftercare and that's it - there's no relationship, strings, etc etc etc.  you're free to go play with someone else 10 minutes later.

Maybe not pick up play, maybe planned play with a friend.  Still no strings other than two of you agreed to play at a certain day in a certain place.  There's no limitation on who else either of you can play with, nor any expectations you'd play again. Still no strings. 

 

[ja****]

No you’re right. You are making perfect sense, with an emphasis on trust.

[jj****]

Because I stg some of these people do not invest one iota of thought into the crap they throw online.

[Ra****]

Just because your relationship has no strings, doesn't mean you don't have all of those things you discussed.

For example I have a female play partner I have played with several times. She understands my boundaries and limits and now my body very very well. We have an amazing amount of trust together. But we are not dating we don't control who else we see and therefore there are no strings attached to our "situation".

Perhaps the misunderstanding is the difference between NSA and a one night stand. If it's the second situation then I completely agree with what you're saying

[Saucy1963]

This site is different things to different people. A dating site for like minded people but it is for different mindsets. A lot of members want it just for sex dating regardless of what type. Dating for those with dominant/submissive kinks whether it is a full lifestyle or just in the bedroom. The more serious seem to be the ones for the discussion, rules and boundaries. A lot of the younger women use the site as a way of enriching themselves one way or another. A lot of it is just pretence for debauched sex under the guise of being a serious kinkster. There are more varieties so take your pick.

[bi****]

I'm new to this sorry if I made a mistake.

[AZ****]

How I think it may go: 99.9% of the time trusting kink etc etc. but it's not always something sexually related or will even lead to something sexual. And there is the other .1% of time that they just need to rail/get railed. No Strings Attached. Then there's the other fandango, where it's the opposite. But there is also a kink for just NSA ya know. Some people just really really get turned on by something like that too. So while yes, majority of kinks DO require a significant level of trust and conversation etc, not all of them do.

I used to know someone who had a legitimate kink for getting a train ran on them in a house party while blindfolded and earplugs in. She didn't know who or where they were or who was going where when. She had me act as her safety net to make sure they wore protection and use lube if they were going to do anal. And she would really get off trying to determine who banged her after she cleaned up mostly and rejoined the party. So, NSA in the extreme way.

[Pa****]

What about pick up play? You meet, discuss a scene, boundaries, do the scene and move on. You may or may not have sex or see each other again.

[Fo****]

I agree. String is not strong enough.
Definitely going to need rope.😉😝

[Ni****]

I feel nsa simply means we aint catching feelings and dont call me tomorrow expectantly. There can be boundaries in an nsa meet up and respect...i mean to agee to not catch feelings or call is the first boundary right?

[Al****]

Go to fetlife, that'll help better than an app

[bl****]

Some people separate kink play from sex entirely. I've had amazing and fun play times without touching anyone's junk.

[Yo****]

I wonder if it's because people define things so differently it seems. Like maybe the strings some people are talking about are things like commitment and emotion... I could respect your boundaries and know what you wanted and we could share trust without being committed partners who have emotion and responsibilities to each other. Like for me, I struggle with the idea of separating kink and sex. I know there are plenty of people who practice kink without sexual contact and yet for me because it turns me on I'm going to want to be able to go with that so to speak. That's one of my strings in some if not many cases. 😅

[ar****]

It might be offtopic but what does NSA stand for?

[jo****]

1 minute ago, artistic said:

It might be offtopic but what does NSA stand for?

No-strings attached

[jo****]

Since I enjoy tying and restraints in general, there is always something akin to strings, if you’re being literal, however, I think that someone looking for NSA in a kink dynamic is just explaining that they don’t want a primary romantic partner.

[Ba****]

I think for BDSM it’s more a either or situation but there are some kinks you can practice more casually, there are some couples here just looking for „spice“

Also i‘m open for NSA, LTR, networking and friends but that doesn’t mean i need the same person for all these roles

[Al****]

9 minutes ago, Albanydude518 said:

Go to fetlife, that'll help better than an app

It's similar to the app, but it's a website that has lots of groups that you join thats related to your kinks, people you could talk to, and such compared to this app. Now, for your question, NSA is just a casual meeting, but prior to meeting you had to talk about certain stuff to gain trust with the other person, get some agreement of some sort. Once all that has been established, the two of you meet up and fool around with the knowledge of what you all agreed not to do. If one party did something that was out of agreement, the trust is broken and, therefore, has ended the play.

[Ma****]

Even though you have a point, why not? For example, there are people who like to be used like a true toy, or for some people it is just enough to share well written scripts. When everybody plays their part, for some attachment becomes secondary. It's like having a nice dinner with a rocking waiter. Do you need attachment with your waiter? ;)

[De****]

The communication and boundaries you mentioned are still there. However, for most, "NSA" just means there’s no romantic commitment or "dating" involved, rather than a lack of care or vetting. those deep discussions and boundary-settings are had before they even meet, so they can enjoy the kink safely without the need for a long-term relationship. People use proper kink sites specifically to find people who actually understand the protocols, ensuring that even if it's a one-off, the trust and respect you're talking about are still front and centre.

[mi****]

I've had plenty of "hookups" turn into relationships