My GF wants to spend her life as someone else's slave? Why?

[stbeson]

Now there's this girl that I have known for a while, a family friend whom my parents want me to marry. The only thing is she has a crush on my ex best friend from high school and has been cheating by talking to him for the last 15 years.

She keeps telling me she wants to dedicate her entire life to sex at his pleasure until death. Basically doing every sexual act for him only, having no pleasure for herself. Right now they foreplay by having her hold her breath as well as other bdsm acts that can be done by long distance. I'm not sure if she's only trying to punish me emotionally or if there is something else there. We are not married but have been living together for the last 5 years.

What should I do? She's been saying this for the last 13 years and is close to beginning at the age of 28. They are dead serious about this! I do not have anyone to talk to about this. Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks

[By****]

From the basic information provided here, I would certainly eject and leave them to it.

[Deleted Member]

What do you want? Because I have learned to listen to people when they tell me something about themselves. She is telling you what she wants. If you don't want to sit around and play with your own dick and watch her be his sex slave, then WALK AWAY. I guarantee she means what she says.

[ey****]

you let this go on for 15 years?

more fool you

[Mz****]

She's repeatedly told you, and shown you, that you are not what she wants, I'm not really sure why you're still together to be honest, do you pay her bills by any chance, she's definitely using you and not in a fun way.

I understand parental pressure can be immense, they likely want you to have children, they probably want grandchildren, but if you can't accept that you will Never be her priority, that she is Always going to place his needs above hers and that yours are of little to no interest to her..the time to walk away is Now, otherwise you'll spend another 13 years cuckolding to them..you need to decide if you want that or not..it really is that black and white.

[the_Professor]

She probably doesn't see you as enough of a man for whatever reason. Perhaps in part b/c you put up w/ her cucking you. I would put your foot down. 

[Deleted Member]

If he could put his foot down, he wouldn't be here asking advice. Lol

[ey****]

I'm going to be honest. I don't feel this is a real post.  

[Deleted Member]

Only on America 🤦‍♂️😂

[Mz****]

5 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I'm going to be honest. I don't feel this is a real post.  

Or, it may be true, it could be a complete fantasy, but whether it is or not, I'm sure it resonates with some in similar although I'm sure much less extreme circumstances, so for now I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt, people can and do find themselves trapped by circumstances after all..especially those with little or no self confidence. 

[co****]

Get out of there, only gonna end in tears and most they'll most probably be yours

[Du****]

Sorry, but are you sure she’s your gf? Something doesn’t add up here.

[Deleted Member]

She ain't the one bro drop the nut on her

[ar****]

As much as you want, you cannot control others' actions. The only person's actions that you can control is yourself.

So if a situation is not in your control, an option for you to take is to choose to no longer be a part of it. Or choose to think that it may get better by sticking to it. The choice is yours to make, my friend

[Ae****]

I'm sorry about the situation.

She doesn't value you. There are many women out there who will. Ask yourself why you're still in the relationship despite her obvious devotion to someone else.

If you think the relationship with her is not right for you (and it's definitely, in my view, not), then end it, and face whatever is in you that made you cling to her even though it seems so obvious you shouldn't have. There's something there, in your mind, that you should deal with before getting into deep relationships, because it's likely a deep rooted issue.

Good luck, and sorry about the horrible time you're having right now.

[Gr****]

23 hours ago, stbeson said:

Now there's this girl that I have known for a while, a family friend whom my parents want me to marry.

Um. Is that why you're so concerned about this, because of what your parents want?

 

23 hours ago, stbeson said:

We are not married but have been living together for the last 5 years.

As what? Roommates? A romantic couple? Is this woman aware that you consider her your girlfriend?

 

 

23 hours ago, stbeson said:

What should I do?

Well, if you don't know what a cuckold fetish is, I suggest you research it. Afterwards, figure out if it appeals to you. If so, have a conversation with both of them regarding how you'd fit into a (possibly closeted) triad relationship.

If not, sever any financial and legal ties you may still have with her and leave.

 

23 hours ago, stbeson said:

They are dead serious about this! I do not have anyone to talk to about this. Any advice would be appreciated.

I don't know if you're sticking around this situation because you're trying to obey your parents, if you actually have an intimate relationship with this woman, or if you're a friend / roommate who was waiting for intimacies and got his hopes dashed.  It's hard to tell. However, I'm voting with the "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" crowd.

[Deleted Member]

Aeonova-that was deep, I LOVE it

[Deleted Member]

Is there a religious/cultural reason your parents want you to marry her?

[ey****]

12 hours ago, MzJax said:

Or, it may be true, it could be a complete fantasy, but whether it is or not, I'm sure it resonates with some in similar although I'm sure much less extreme circumstances, so for now I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt, people can and do find themselves trapped by circumstances after all..especially those with little or no self confidence. 

yeah - sometimes I see posts and I'm not always convinced that they are real (there was someone caught out a while ago) 

and then I kinda think a little... while their post may not be real, there may be someone else reading who is going through similar.  (Which is - what you said) 

which, yeah, is someone has been telling someone persistently they want to be with someone else - there either needs to be a "if you're joking this is no longer funny" or a "if you're not happy with me - then go" although this is simplifying things a bit

[Leisa]

Why on earth would you want to live that way?

[Deleted Member]

I agree with most here. She isn't the right one for you. She's in love with your ex-best friend.

[Deleted Member]

You would be happier finding someone who wants to be with you and not someone else. I’d personally call it a day and look for someone who wants you

[Phoenyx]

Is this some kind of arranged , between your family and hers?  Are you actually in the U.S.?  This wouldn't be the first time that I have encountered someone from a repressive culture, using a U.S.-based profile, to hide their true identity/location.  You need to be forthcoming, as the stated "facts" are not adding-up.

[Th****]

On 6/29/2021 at 2:14 AM, stbeson said:

The only thing is she has a crush on my ex best friend from high school and has been cheating by talking to him for the last 15 years.

Okay we will work from here, so if she is 28 this crush started at the age of 13. 

 

On 6/29/2021 at 2:14 AM, stbeson said:

We are not married but have been living together for the last 5 years.

What should I do? She's been saying this for the last 13 years

So she has been saying this since the age of 15, and yet 5 years ago you two moved in with one another.

 

My only question is this,

What is so different from 5 years ago? You knew about it then apparently, be honest, the choice is do you want to lose her.

Ultimately the only actions you control are your own. 

From what you have said she seems to have made her intentions crystal clear. 

[stbeson]

Thanks for the advice everyone, it is a real situation but we are living together as roommates. My parents let her in to the house but I see what everyone is saying about leaving. I'll honestly think about my options.

Thanks again everyone