The death of kink

[si****]

Sometimes I'm not sure i want to be here anymore
It just reminds me what I dont have
And what men really want from me
Just my body
Holes to fuck
Or hurt
But I cant give myself away
Not like that
Not anymore
I just want to be loved
By someone who knows me
Better than I do
Not afraid of my darkness
Not intimidated by my spine
I cant give you all of me
And get nothing in return
I cant just be a thing

So it turned off
Little by little
One desire at a time
One want after another
Until.nothing was left
But a memory
Of release in the ***
Of peace in the binding
Of freedom in the surrender

It died a slow death
But kink died
And now I dont know if I belong here.

[Ha****]

😞

[sw****]

🫶💌

[Si****]

Moving 🙏

[Kinkyboy1980]

As a man, I feel this too. I wonder what women really want. If I am attracted to someone's profile and first attraction is always the photos. I will always read their profile, if I feel there could be a connection, I will send a respectful and polite message. However, not many reply.

[Deleted Member]

Thank you for sharing, simplysica.

[to****]

My personal opinion is you have to be certain you have the right person. I think taking things you enjoy and leaving the rest. Communication, consent and having boundaries. Having a relationship where the other person listens is important. It’s a personal decision and what you decide is okay.

[Vi****]

This is sad to read 😔 I get what you mean and others here can empathise by the sounds of it. You have to do what's best for you, Simply. Look after yourself

[Ch****]

Don't let the disrespect of the few snuff out the flame of your soul.

Your kinks are the hidden warmth of your soul.

They are the sparks that can reignite the embers of true passion and the tinder of true peace and love

The right person will provide the oxygen that turns a slow burn into a raging inferno.

[jj****]

Thank you for posting this. This “community” is so massively discouraging. I was hoping to actually connect with people who want to enjoy and explore with a single partner. The way a lot of people are, there is just no meaning. It’s so transactional. But every other dating app is just as bad. I was really hoping this place could be different and it just isn’t.

[ts****]

Pretty much. Most guys local to me only want hookups, and everybody who is genuine is too far away from me (Im just a physical person like that). New account, in my DMs for hookups, then they delete their profile after a few days. Id say don’t give up hope, but also only put in the effort required to keep your sanity. I’ve met a few people who are genuine and genuinely kinky, although they are far outside my distance of anything irl, but the convos are all kink based. Just takes time to find someone local who truly is into your kinks and you.

[Daddy247]

It’s a double edged sword. On one hand you have guys calling themselves Dom/Daddy Dom, but all they are is horny huys who want aggressive sex with no limits. On the second scenario you have a lot of girls here stating they are open to anything and have no limits and just want to be used. It’s both sides. No one really reads profiles. I do, but I’m thorough. You need to know exactly what you want, state it clearly with no ambiguity and let people know to read your profile and then communicate. A real Dom relationship, if that’s what you’re looking for takes time. There’s a trust and bond that must be made.

[Qu****]

You're not alone in feeling the way you do! I often want to know what it feels like to be loved but it's not in the cards for me so I will always be left to wonder and sometimes crave.

[Da****]

I’m not big on ‘community’. But to me it seems like this place is rife with mental illness. People just turning of age who don’t even know themselves. Opportunistic ***rs. Finance people. Couples looking for their unicorn who themselves happen to be vanilla or boring. So much of this feels performative. I was here for almost two years sifting through the absolute riffraff before I actually met someone local to me (who was nervous of me at first because of my profile and my privacy) but we clicked and the chemistry is profound. Everything in our interests lines up. This is not common though. I think the community has a lot of exclusive energy and hate towards certain groups. Especially hate from the LGBTQ crowd. And the expectations across several groups seem to be, a bit overly idiosyncratic. But if you can find your place and just block out the rest, isn’t so bad. As a man I can definitely relate to the post.

[Ki****]

I agree with all these comments thank you

[Ne****]

Sounds like a certain kind of fatigue. Maybe take a rest and redirect some of your energy elsewhere for a bit. Best.

[Deleted Member]

I can relate. I just had enough time to realize my kink didn't die but it did lay dormant

[Longjohn-5206]

I agree with it all . Mostly I find it's people just for the sex side of it to me sex is a byproduct not the main part of the lifestyle . To me it's the feeling of ownership the control the knowing this person has surrender themselves to you a 100 percent. And the trust that person has that feeling gets me off more than the sexual side .

[wi****]

Hearing that makes me think ur finding the wrong people. To dominate some one doesnt mean just control, use, and ***. Alot of people act that way on here ive some some of the nasty messages they send and am embarrassed by them. its not supposed to be like that. Its a lifestyle, a dynamic. With the intent on finding desires that match with yours. So that both of u can mutually acquire pleasure in the act. The feeling u get being dominated by someone u trust is an uplifting powerful feeling. But someone just using u for their own need breaks u down makes u feel empty. Respect and trust plays a big part. Its not ment to break you down. Its ment to share something special and unique together. A sensation. A need. A feeling. You should walk away from the event feeling closer to ur partner. Energy renewed. Powerful. Not used. Not feeling like ur nothing but a hole. Those dynamics are out there too. But that again requires respect and trust for it to be lasting. Find someone u can build trust with. Make sure they understand boundaries and will care about u as a person not just a plaything. Take ur time. Weed out the fakes who just want a hole. U deserve what u want. Just have to be patient

[Codysho]

What happened first? Did he pull away emotionally, or you sexualy ?

Most Psychology experts will tell you that men get emotional connection through physical Intimacy, leading to greater emotional intimacy. While its the opposite for women.

Just saying it takes 2 to tango, and 2 to not!

[ts****]

3 hours ago, Dark_Agenda-83 said:

I’m not big on ‘community’. But to me it seems like this place is rife with mental illness. People just turning of age who don’t even know themselves. Opportunistic ***rs. Finance people. Couples looking for their unicorn who themselves happen to be vanilla or boring. So much of this feels performative. I was here for almost two years sifting through the absolute riffraff before I actually met someone local to me (who was nervous of me at first because of my profile and my privacy) but we clicked and the chemistry is profound. Everything in our interests lines up. This is not common though. I think the community has a lot of exclusive energy and hate towards certain groups. Especially hate from the LGBTQ crowd. And the expectations across several groups seem to be, a bit overly idiosyncratic. But if you can find your place and just block out the rest, isn’t so bad. As a man I can definitely relate to the post, but women don’t want our holes. Just *** or something beneficial when they haven’t gotten to know me.

This is a pretty tone-deaf take ngl. How are people suppose to find what they are into… when there is very limited irl opportunities. All my local BDSM clubs are filled with 50+ y/o swingers, of which I’m not into. I’ve had a few opportunities to explore, and I know what I’m into and what I’d like to explore more of.

And hate from the queer community? Literally I get cis men in my DMs turning full-on transphobic for not being okay with my genitals being called certain names or me having an issue being lumped in with crossdressers. Unless you meant “hate FOR the LGBTQ crowd” it just comes across like you have some problematic beliefs.

[xR****]

14 minutes ago, tsCthulUwU said:

This is a pretty tone-deaf take ngl. How are people suppose to find what they are into… when there is very limited irl opportunities. All my local BDSM clubs are filled with 50+ y/o swingers, of which I’m not into. I’ve had a few opportunities to explore, and I know what I’m into and what I’d like to explore more of.

And hate from the queer community? Literally I get cis men in my DMs turning full-on transphobic for not being okay with my genitals being called certain names or me having an issue being lumped in with crossdressers. Unless you meant “hate FOR the LGBTQ crowd” it just comes across like you have some problematic beliefs.

I feel this! I have the same issue! Not hate or anything from anyone, but it's mostly (supposedly) cis hetero men who hit me up looking for a very specific thing; chasers, you know? When I can't do what they want (and won't, to be perfectly honest) it turns sour pretty quick. Everyone else is pretty vanilla and looking for a 3rd, not really kink oriented, or just chat me up then delete their account and block / ghost. It does get tiring. Like, i know what I am looking for, do these people not?! And I want to learn more about myself, how we do that without connecting?!?

[ts****]

9 minutes ago, xRainx said:

I feel this! I have the same issue! Not hate or anything from anyone, but it's mostly (supposedly) cis hetero men who hit me up looking for a very specific thing; chasers, you know? When I can't do what they want (and won't, to be perfectly honest) it turns sour pretty quick. Everyone else is pretty vanilla and looking for a 3rd, not really kink oriented, or just chat me up then delete their account and block / ghost. It does get tiring. Like, i know what I am looking for, do these people not?! And I want to learn more about myself, how we do that without connecting?!?

I mean its to be expected that a portion of men will just join here (or literally any app) for quick sex. Its just hard sifting through all of them trying to find someone who is genuine. Basically my rule of thumb is if someone brings up kinks/my summoning word then it leads to decent convos, with the only issue being distance.

And to avoid being a 3rd I’ve turned off couples from what im interested in.

Basically it’s all about finding a healthy middle ground. Enough effort to keep looking, but knowing when to dip and when someone is shallow and sex-seeking. At the very least I get my exhibition kink satisfied lol

[wi****]

I understand there are plenty of issues in regards to sexuality and gender. But please. To me simplysica posted this to help herself understand the trauma she is facing. And to learn how to move on from her dark feelings. Trying to place blame with the it takes 2 to tango comments and *** her space to vent about ur own issues in regards to how others respond to ur gender identity takes away from her struggles. Its not my place to police the forum but definitely seems rather selfish.

[ts****]

8 minutes ago, willwantsit said:

I understand there are plenty of issues in regards to sexuality and gender. But please. To me simplysica posted this to help herself understand the trauma she is facing. And to learn how to move on from her dark feelings. Trying to place blame with the it takes 2 to tango comments and *** her space to vent about ur own issues in regards to how others respond to ur gender identity takes away from her struggles. Its not my place to police the forum but definitely seems rather selfish.

My point being its a trauma us women have experienced, at least on this app. Its not a matter of suffering olympics or who has it worse. Im empathizing with her on how she feels, and provided both feedback and constructive criticism.