Marriage and BDSM

[Deleted Member]

Hey everyone, 

   I'm a Daddy Dom and my wife is a middle/brat. She also struggles with some mental things that can make life and our dynamic a bit of a struggle sometimes. I'm simply looking for advice on a day to day basis on how we can improve our dynamic. 

[TheBookCollector]

You first need to understand why she struggles with these things have you talked to her about it?
Until you understand why she is struggling you arent going to be able to figure out how to resolve the issues.

[ey****]

So the first way to improve your dynamic is to ignore your dynamic

She has mental struggles.  Where? What are her struggles?  What can you do to help them? How can you ease things?

Those are your priorities to sort.

[qu****]

More a case of vanilla first, BDSM second, or you won't have a happy BDSM life, your wife's health and mental health, yours too, is the important thing here

[WifeySlut]

Kudos for caring about her well being. Good to see. So many selfish people out there in the world. 

Would you mind elaborating a bit more concerning these mental issues? I have one or two and could possibly help! 💓

[Midlands_Dom]

It really depends on the mental health etc, without context it’s hard to say, I’ve had a few subs with MH issues, you’re welcome to pm if you wish.

[Deleted Member]

Thank you for all the helpful advice so far. She had BPD and Bi-polar. Both can be challenging, but I'm starting to learn and understand it very much. She is very much a middle/brat and would not be happy in a vanilla relationship. We currently have a contract as well to set boundaries and expectations. 

One of my ongoing frustrations is our difference in opinions about what a Doms responsibilities are vs a subs.

[ey****]

Just now, Sprinkles said:

One of my ongoing frustrations is our difference in opinions about what a Doms responsibilities are vs a subs.

So - it's important then to focus on the middle ground build up where you both agree

I guess there could be a question on possibly looking at things where you don't agree (any examples?) and seeing if you can even divide them in some way. 

[Leisa]

MH issues can become an issue if they are uncontrolled and allowed to run amuck. If treated and under medical care, they should have little impact on the dynamic you’re trying to build. You should both probably research some of the characteristics that are part of each “role” but know that there are no hard and fast rules as to what is and is not strictly a dominate role or a submissive role or even a switch role. These roles are whatever you agree upon. Have fun with it.