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Permission To Kink Declined

CopperKnob

By CopperKnob
in Online Munch

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CopperKnob

CopperKnob

Posted
Hello!

We’re the people of Fet… The Fet that existed long before you showed up thinking you were equal to the rest of us. It’s a common mistake for new members. Happens all the time but, just so you know, we’ve had more kinky sex than you in much crazier ways than you. So there.

We suspend ourselves from the ceiling every morning using only our teeth and the wings of a thousand fairies. We use the exhaust pipes of cars with the engine turned on instead of dildos, and we can make ducking machines from only a spoonful of icecream and a garden fork.

Fet knows better than you because we are better than you. And we're here to tell we aren't allowing you to do kink relationships your way.

We heard that you've started calling yourself a sub. We don’t remember approving your menu choice, and we most certainly never gave you permission to be in a D/s relationship. You’re new, you're still 90% vanilla. Don't run before you can walk or, at least not 'til you've sorted that gag reflex.

We've been around since the dinosaurs were roaming the lands so if you want to say you’re in a D/s relationship, you’ll have to spend at least the next six years prostrating yourself before our superiority with *** and trembling first.

We have more talents than you have 50 Shades fantasies. We can drool on command and know these seven submissive positions by heart. All you know is that Ana and Christian live happily ever after.

Our vaginas are made entirely of scar tissue. Is yours? We thought not. Yep, nobody does submission like we do, so if you can't have 20 squirting orgasms a day in under five minutes (on command, obviously), you're not qualified to do kink your way.

We’ve had enough of you so-called dominants, too. We'll only declare you a true top if you make your own paddles and cuffs out of pigs slaughtered on the peaks of Mt. Everest. We also require you to drink the *** while tanning the leather and you better be spinning your own materials to make that rope your hands are itching to get hold of.

We don’t remember seeing you at "The E E Grey Awards for Kinky Fuckery" ceremony last year, anyway, so you're not allowed to kink yet.

In actual fact, we’d love it if you’d just be quiet now. All your typing is making us feel insecure. Which one of you sent through an application for permission to have your own opinion? Exactly! None of you! We suggest you remember that.

If you don't have anything nice to say...yiu knownthe rest.

Deleted Member

Posted

~chuckles and goes back to decorating~....I am gonna get the popcorn out for this...

Sp****

Sp****

Posted
Damn I had the evenings entertainment all planned the beer and hotdogs all ready and not a single bite what’s going on I’m gonna have to go and watch Netflix now instead
CopperKnob

CopperKnob

Posted
  • Author
2 minutes ago, Spanksy said:
Damn I had the evenings entertainment all planned the beer and hotdogs all ready and not a single bite what’s going on I’m gonna have to go and watch Netflix now instead

Clique is pretty good if you needed a recommendation

Deleted Member

Posted
(edited)

Wow, someone loves themselves!! 😂

Edited by Deleted Member
Leisa

Leisa

Posted
1 hour ago, n0sedeep said:
LOL, I take it “self-righteous indignation” is a perk of the $20/mo subscription?

All jokes aside, it’s so quiet around here it’s tough to tell if anyone lasts long enough to meet anyone else.

You’ll be happy to know that there are many that stay the distance.

Deleted Member

Posted
I'm laughing out loud. This is all tongue in cheek right? A send up of the oh so experienced denizens of the chat rooms, right? It's just too much not to be.
CopperKnob

CopperKnob

Posted
  • Author
1 hour ago, SayQuois said:
I'm laughing out loud. This is all tongue in cheek right? A send up of the oh so experienced denizens of the chat rooms, right? It's just too much not to be.

Of course 😂

Deleted Member

Posted
7 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Of course 😂

OK good.  I wasn't too too sure given my newb sensibilities and actual experience on the site thus far and the fact that the persona taken on by you in the post is not too crazy far off from some vibes I've got.  

 

Thank you for bringing such brilliant light and humour ❤️

CopperKnob

CopperKnob

Posted
  • Author
16 minutes ago, SayQuois said:

OK good.  I wasn't too too sure given my newb sensibilities and actual experience on the site thus far and the fact that the persona taken on by you in the post is not too crazy far off from some vibes I've got.  

 

Thank you for bringing such brilliant light and humour ❤️

I'm sorry that thats the vibe you got too, it happens and its why this post was written despite it being a ***take

Deleted Member

Posted
1 minute ago, CopperKnob said:

I'm sorry that thats the vibe you got too, it happens and its why this post was written despite it being a ***take

To be clear, my overall take from the site has been positive.  I have not explored too deeply.  My experience in the chat lobby is not unlike my experience in other sex site chat lobbies... Difficult to "get into the club".  And kind of ironically but ironically not surprisingly (if that makes sense), pretty judgmental.  Too much pettiness and self-declared uptight arbiters of propriety and protocol.  Having said that, I have limited experience really and only get on when I'm feeling activated in my kink.  So wtf do I know about ongoing management of such things?  

 

Thanks for your responses! 

Leisa

Leisa

Posted
5 hours ago, SayQuois said:

To be clear, my overall take from the site has been positive.  I have not explored too deeply.  My experience in the chat lobby is not unlike my experience in other sex site chat lobbies... Difficult to "get into the club".  And kind of ironically but ironically not surprisingly (if that makes sense), pretty judgmental.  Too much pettiness and self-declared uptight arbiters of propriety and protocol.  Having said that, I have limited experience really and only get on when I'm feeling activated in my kink.  So wtf do I know about ongoing management of such things?  

 

Thanks for your responses! 

Please come in and join in the conversation. You might be surprised at how easy it actually is to fit in once you start conversing and adding to the conversations. The only ones who get shut down are those coming in advertising or wankers looking for the immediate lay. If I’m in there say hello and I’ll begin the welcome train. I could easily give you the names of others “in the club” who would also do the same. It’s not really as cliquey as it may appear to someone just coming in.

Deleted Member

Posted
1 hour ago, Leisa said:

Please come in and join in the conversation. You might be surprised at how easy it actually is to fit in once you start conversing and adding to the conversations. The only ones who get shut down are those coming in advertising or wankers looking for the immediate lay. If I’m in there say hello and I’ll begin the welcome train. I could easily give you the names of others “in the club” who would also do the same. It’s not really as cliquey as it may appear to someone just coming in.

Thank you, Leisa 🙂

  • 5 months later...

Deleted Member

Posted

Annie Wilkes said it best…I’m your number one fan.  😂  I swear I’m just looking at your previous works of art. I’m totally not stalking you or holding you hostage in my lovely yet remote mountain cottage…..Just enjoy lounging in bed and keep writing.  😁

CopperKnob

CopperKnob

Posted
  • Author
4 hours ago, Honey_Cunt said:

Annie Wilkes said it best…I’m your number one fan.  😂  I swear I’m just looking at your previous works of art. I’m totally not stalking you or holding you hostage in my lovely yet remote mountain cottage…..Just enjoy lounging in bed and keep writing.  😁

A remote mountain cottage sounds lovely.
Can anyone say, Stockholm syndrome? 😂

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