First munch experiences

[Deleted Member]

I'll finally go to my first real life munch soon and while I am a little bit nervous, I'm mainly very curious. So it would be great to hear some of your experiences. How was the mood? Did you feel welcome straight away or a bit lost and overwhelmed? Would be wonderful if you'd care to share. 🤗

[ge****]

Have only been to one (although have attended a couple of socials for swingers which are similar) and they have always been exactly what they suggest - social events designed for people to meet like minded others, and really no different from walking into a pub and having a few drinks and a chat, the only real difference being they've been held in private rooms of a pub/bar.

I do seem to remember the munch I went to there was a demo at one point but other than that it was chatting and drinking.

I do remember being nervous beforehand though and not knowing quite what to expect and then wondering after what I had been worried about.

Hope you have a wonderful time 🙂

[nick_massar]

Hi I went to my first one a number of weeks ago, it is run by pebble at the salutation inn notts, very friendly I found it and she has been running a tight ship for over 10 years n all are friendly there.
Also visited south Lincs munch and it was the same there, all friendly approachable people. Very welcoming.
From what I can see n gather they are all like it but there’s plenty out there to visit n find one u really feel at home at, u will probably go to a number I do now

[typhoon2]

Munches are highly variable, depending on the venue, hosts, attendees, weather and so on. Getting in touch with the organiser(s) ahead of time is advisable, to let them know that you're a newbie attending and they'll usually take steps to meet and greet you, introduce you to people, etc. After that your reception will often depend on yourself. Wallflowers may easily get ignored, because people are there to enjoy themselves, not have to look out for waifs and strays. Most kinksters are happy to chat but they'll not necessarily seek out newbies (except for attractive, young submissives who attract a lot of attention, not all of it benign). Making an effort goes an awful long way. You'll probably find that chatting to similar folk to yourself is best, so subs chatting to subs, Doms to Doms, etc. This way you have imediate common ground and there's no suggestion of pestering, pick-up ideas, and so on. Having made the effort to attend and be seen is a useful step forward in networking and ultimately play/relationship terms.

[Deleted Member]

How exciting! I've not been to one yet. Hope you have a fabulous time!

[Deleted Member]

Thank you for your answers! Now I'm even more excited about going!! My big hope is as you say @typhoon2to get to talk to other subs and exchange ideas and experiences. I have read about contacting the host beforehand and have done so, so yes I'm sure that will help a lot. Thanks again! 💖

[MaddieShires]

Wonderful hope you have a great time

[Deleted Member]

I went to my first meet last Sunday as a single male i was nervous as heck as I class as a switch whonwas looking for some experiences as everything has been at home and in the bedroom. Was invited along and plucked up the courage got there and as the gates opened thought it is to late now. And i was truly made to feel welcome walking in to a place and seeing people being flogged or whipped on Andrew's crosses was an insight but was given a tour and was made to feel most welcome and could ask any questions.got tonmeet some very nice people and even experienced a light whipping for the first time against a cross in front everybody, something in thought i would never have the guts to do.
I will be going to others and hoping to experience new pleasures and hopefully take a friend.so do it you wont regret.

[sm****]

Munches are always the best places to meet likeminded people in a safe environment.   I remember in the early days traveling all over the UK by train just to attend one before i started the Newcastle one.  i always suggest newbies attend a few before actual r/l meets, just to gauge the feel and gain information and knowing people who can be your safe calls etc.

The early days were epic, White Horse in Soho, Mancs, Sheffield Leeds and Brum, and then helping a scene friend start off the first Glasgow and Edinburgh ones.  Still remember getting the PA done at Nirvana in Glasgow then attending the first munch up there.

Met many friends from the early IRC and Informedconsent days at these munches. Halcyon days

 

[Fa****]

Munchies are good because you're with like minded people and can chat openly advising plus taking advice 

[Matttster]

I have been too some in a couple cities. As a single male dominant I did not feel very welcome. It is better if you go as a couple, but it seems that often times single male Doms are not readily excepted. In some aspects I can understand as there are many “fake” Doms and men that say they are dominant to pursue abusive behaviors. But I would think it would be better to get to know everyone. I have friends who have essentially a ban list of Tops that have been abusive and subs will talk to other subs about them.

After going to my local munch on and off for about a year, I slowly networked and met some people. I had a submissive friend come to town and went with her; she got lots of attention. The Dom that oversees it actually came and talked to her and sent his submissive over to talk to her about some of the things going on. This is the same Dom that I contacted before going the first time and I had to track down and basically sat at the head of the table and said “this is it, people are friendly, have fun.”

So it surely depends upon where you are and who oversees the munch. But in my experience submissive and especially female submissives will have better luck meeting people and not just horny Tops.

[Fetishlover45]

Slightly off topic, but does anyone know of or could recomend a munch in or around north yorkshire in the uk? 

[sm****]

6 minutes ago, Fetishlover45 said:

Slightly off topic, but does anyone know of or could recomend a munch in or around north yorkshire in the uk? 

Sheffield, Leeds, Manchester all have their monthly weekend munches.  Mancs obviously slightly larger.

 

[Matttster]

Fetishlover45 FetLife is a good place to find events. A quick look and there is a “West Yorkshire Walking Munch” scheduled on Nov 14. It has 48 people “attending” so far.

[typhoon2]

21 minutes ago, Fetishlover45 said:

Slightly off topic, but does anyone know of or could recomend a munch in or around north yorkshire in the uk? 

Harrogate and York are monthly munches - first Wednesday and last Tuesday, from memory. Sensations is a roughly-monthly play evet with a large social aspect.

[Deleted Member]

43 minutes ago, smeagol said:

Sheffield, Leeds, Manchester all have their monthly weekend munches.  Mancs obviously slightly larger.

 

Does York still have one? I know there's a special York event this month

[sm****]

1 hour ago, Dragonflylover said:

Does York still have one? I know there's a special York event this month

There used to be a York Mid week munch, used to be held on a wed night, held at the black swann 2nd wed of each month..Was downstairs just heard they are negotiating Dec onwards to using upstaurs.   Harrogate Hales Bar, last one was the 26th so it looks like another mid week munch.

Edited November 5, 2021 by smeagol
more info added

[ey****]

My first munch was nearly 8 years ago

What I have found over the years

Munches do vary a lot and a quiet munch isn't necessarily a bad munch

whilst I have seen people hook up at munches, sometimes even at their first munches, to treat that as the exception rather than the norm

the norm is you will make new friends.  friends who are also kinky

there may be opportunity to share stories and experiences, but, at the worst.  Honestly.  You can never have too many friends.

[Fetishlover45]

Thanks for the advice, its appreciated i have lived/ expected to be very vanilla sort of lifestyle so only just starting to explore this side of my personality i.e what i do or dont like

If i am honest i am really struggling to get my head around being open and honest about stuff due to *** about being ridiculed or made fun of. Or perhaps simply its not having anyone to share the journey with (i.e a partner who wants to try kinky stuff).

All my ex partners have been very er vanilla when it came to physical side of a relationship

[sm****]

1 hour ago, Fetishlover45 said:

Thanks for the advice, its appreciated i have lived/ expected to be very vanilla sort of lifestyle so only just starting to explore this side of my personality i.e what i do or dont like

If i am honest i am really struggling to get my head around being open and honest about stuff due to *** about being ridiculed or made fun of. Or perhaps simply its not having anyone to share the journey with (i.e a partner who wants to try kinky stuff).

All my ex partners have been very er vanilla when it came to physical side of a relationship

It's a very common feeling for most who sip their feet in to the kink scene for the first time, so your not alone.  The munches are by far the best way to introduce yourself and others to you.  Most good munches will have a newbie first half hour, where the organisers stop older hands coming in early and swamping the place, so you can talk to a smaller group and they will then introduce you to the regulars as they arrive 30 mins or so later.    Everyone there will understand your trepidation.  

Just remember it's a vanilla setting so even though your in with a bunch of kinksters no kink is on show, to the outside world, your all part of some nilla social group.

It will take time so don't rush in expecting the kink world to fall at your feet.  These people will need time to trust you and you them, and one of the best ways is just be natural and ask questions.

 

 

[Fetishlover45]

Thanks for that it makes me feel alot better and a bit less nervous. I know that even the most experienced/ well connected kinksters will have been in my position at some point.

 

I just need to pluck up enough courage to go to a munch now lol  

[ey****]

thing is - yep - everyone had their first munch once

And I have seen people who have arrived the their first munch like a car crash - but, honestly, going in with an open mind and a positive attitude goes a long way.

The conversations won't purely be about kink - but that's actually good in itself because it helps find people you can communicate with and they can be good people to look out for at subsequent munches

And if you do feel a little like you don't know what you're doing with yourself - the host should be a good point to go back to say hello to 

[Just_A_Good_Boy]

I'm actually also attending my first Munch very soon and I'm excited! Again, there is a meet and greet for a newbie like me so that should help a bit before heading into the main event Also gives a chance to chat with new people too!

[Just_A_Good_Boy]

On 11/6/2021 at 4:25 PM, Fetishlover45 said:

Thanks for that it makes me feel alot better and a bit less nervous. I know that even the most experienced/ well connected kinksters will have been in my position at some point.

 

I just need to pluck up enough courage to go to a munch now lol  

It's understandable you may not want to mention all of your kinks and fetishes - but mainly it is a "kinky meet up" I guess you could call it that   but everyone will be there for a similar reason - to meet other like minded people ^^

Of course, only share what you are comfortable with and mainly just have a good time connecting with new people, if there is no kink talk involved!

Best of luck  

[RAMB]

I hav not been to my first munch yet