Can you help me ?

[Deleted Member]

Who else is and has been searching for a bdsm LIFESTYLE ? But can't get others to actually take them seriously and get on board.

[ku****]

Society still takes it as a taboo, even bringing it to your partner can be hard. I am so glad to find this platform and so many like minded people

[tu****]

The issue for me is definitely not society. But the reality that trust right now is hard — and a lot of people would rather have casual sex with some kink then build a 24/7 lifestyle. Or maybe there’s some other link I’m missing and I don’t truly get it.

[Al****]

If you are looking for like minded people try the fetlife website. Create an account and look at all the like minded people in your area. Most if them hold group get togethers at least once a month. I am a Gentleman Dom. And I am on the site.

[Ch****]

Yes lots of casual people or just bedroom only kink, ive found very few into the lifestyle

[Ph****]

I’m definitely interested in getting involved living a sub lifestyle. Just needing to find the right domme is the issue I’m having

[Lord_Talion]

There's many like that, but ALL of these sites that are geared towards bdsm relationships get flooded with stingers, solicitors, and bots

[be****]

Yep I feel the same way.

[gr****]

It can be difficult to find a lifestyle partner. Many think of BDSM just tied to sex good luck keep trying. You may have better luck though muches and in person social interaction.

[Deleted Member]

This is me

[Deleted Member]

I totally understand where your coming from. My first years into looking no one took me seriously age wise. Now all I've been seeing is Pro Dom services, which is fine, just not what I'm looking for.

[Deleted Member]

A lot of people misunderstands what it means to be a Dom, we do it because we deeply care for our subs, it requires a level of honesty and trust not usually found in vanilla relationships. Too many think it is just about giving orders. Good luck though, we are here!

[Deleted Member]

Me 🖐

[Matttster]

I don’t k is that it is much different then finding any “partner”. What you are looking for is someone that has similar interests as you. It can be difficult finding a vanilla partner as well.

As someone said, going to munches and other kink themed events may be helpful as the people attending are interested in kink. But in all honesty, even there it still is about finding someone that is into what you are.

As you meet people and date, I would suggest you just be honest about what interests you. Perhaps not on a first date, but as you get to know someone, start talking about kink and see where their thoughts are about it. You may be surprised how many people are into kink, but do not know much about it.

If you are looking for an experienced Dom, that is single and has similar interests as you, you are in for a long search. Whereas if you are open to finding someone with similar interests and allowing them to learn about kink, you open the door to more candidates. You may have to “train” your Dom, which sounds backwards. But if you have experience, you can help guide the person to resources that will help them learn.

[Mi****]

Personally, for me, I’ve found that a Dom that is genuinely into the lifestyle is really rare. Very hard to find. Most just want to talk about what will happen in the bedroom. I love it when a Dom firstly talks to me about what they expect out of it.

[69****]

Literally me rn

[Da****]

As someone who is currently in a 24/7 LTR, I can tell you from experience that's not how it started though...we started as casual with a BDSM component but over time it morphed into more, a lot more. It has become one of the most rewarding relationships I have ever had and it all started on Tinder... I guess what I am saying is, don't rule out the casual as a start as you never know where it could lead..

[Cu****]

Ive been looking for a LTR partner aka 24/7 when its doable, but most people have a set life so its hard to change direction

ive gone in retirement so im doing it 24/7 now, but for my self, then at times with others over a week end, still no permanent relation, pep often change kink direction after some time

[Deleted Member]

I think for me the hard part is getting started or finding someone that matches your vibe.
I’ve never experienced any social blockage whatsoever.
To each it’s own is the way unleavened and everyone close to me. If they want to have different holidays, jobs, lifestyles… up to them and they treat me the same.
What do you mean by others don’t take it seriously?

[Da****]

Is a person in an LTR that didn't start out that way...all I can say is you never know what will happen.. My current relationship started as a casual relationship from tinder, with a bdam component. It has turned into one of the best relationships I have ever had.. I would say find someone you have a connection with and start there. Don't rule out a casual relationship because you never know where it might lead...

[Deleted Member]

Even harder when you want a long term monogamous relationship.

[Deleted Member]

Sadly to say alot of people be able talk and just waste others time.I you find what your looking for because it's the same for me on my fantasy 😕

[fu****]

I'm look for anyone that's actually interested in d/s aspect. Most on here want only talking attention and nothing more.

[Deleted Member]

I think a lot of us are in the same boat, we all are here to find something we don’t have, and we have to find a needle in a pile of manure (damn scammers ruining it for everybody). As a Dom it does help to see so many with absolutely no understanding of what it takes to build a BDSM relationship, it’s a lot more work than just giving an order to get yourself off.

[ey****]

I think it's interesting there are a fair few comments from people who started casual that introduced BDSM gradually - that is often a big way of getting into the lifestyle

though, most people who say they are serious rarely make actions to back themselves up - get involved in your local community, for example