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Major sub drop


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I feel like I can’t get out of sub drop and I’m feeling so so depressed I feel like I have lost my way in the lifestyle and I really miss the old me I have been in sub drop for over a year and it’s literally killing me I feel so dark and empty inside how can I get my spark back ?
It happens to alot of people but it'll take some time . Maybe you need a break.

That sounds like depression. You can look up how to treat it on the NHS website. Talking therapies or computer-presented CBT are likely to help.

If you need a suggestion for a kink-friendly therapist, message me privately.

I can't imagine what you are going through, or know what you have and haven't tried. But I think a good restart might help, changing some things (changing any words used for anything to something new, etc) and starting from the beginning again going over everything like new. And only adding things slowly as if you never tried it before. And trying new aftercare as well?
Posted (edited)

You either need caregiver only for a good while or a break completely. Longer you have it longer it will take to get out of it. Lots of tenderness and affection helped a friend but might not work for all. Calm things right down, no intense sessions......take it easy for a while and let yourself find yourself again x
We are Leo.....when we fall we fall hard sadly....take your time you will be fine, head up high baby girl ....

Edited by Deleted Member

I think TailDrake is right - if it has been that long, it's no longer "sub drop" and has become something else. Get some help... please. In the meantime, talk to friends, *** yourself to remain active, think about things you do that make you feel good under normal circumstances and just make yourself do them -- these help me some when in a depressed state.


yeah, this isn't sub drop it's depression

I would be slightly careful also because this can lead you to make rash decisions if you think it'll give a sparkle back.  I definitely suggest trying to find some help and support for mental health rather than rushing in with someone who may take a lend 

I'm just regurgitating what's already been said but it sounds like a mental health issue at this stage.

Don't jump into anything that will amount to a short term dopamine injection, because it'll only mask over how you really feel.

I find getting into nature helps me, walks in the forest and on the beach are my go to thing when feeling depressed.

Keep your chin up, it WILL get better :)
Hi Dolly, I would support everything else that the rest of the people in here have stated.
Based on what u say, this doesn’t exactly sound like sub drop but perhaps more a form of depression.
It’s wonderful that you have felt able to share your feelings with others in here but would hope that u may have a support system outside of an online community. If u don’t then it might be a good idea to engage and speak to those around u about ur feelings.
In a practical sense I would suggest going back to basics, making sure that u are fulfilling your basic needs of food, rest, exercise and self care.
Also, it might be best to step back from trying to form a dynamic with someone for the short term, as another said, this will give you a short term buzz but won’t help with the underlying issues.
Take care and well done.
That may not be sub drop. That could actually be depression . Maybe you should talk to a Kink friendly thearipist.
@hardplay. It can last days or weeks after, but usually more than a 2 weeks tho. It isn't just right after

what I've found - obviously later that day or the next day you get the kinda sub drop through withdrawal of endorphins

but I usually find a few days later things flare up a bit inside which is similar-ish 

but yeah, beyond a couple of weeks whatever is wrong is more than drop 

I'm so sorry. I've been there myself & it was a long, dark road out. Very long & very dark... Hang in there & since it's been so long, if it were me, I'd carefully start mingling again. The darkness will pass, I promise 🌹keep your head up & try to be positive. It will pass. Good luck & know that you're never alone.
I found a really good song yesterday, it's called 'love like this' by lil Kesh. It has a really calm beat and makes you feel really happy. I like it because it stops me from overthinking.
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