Need help being more Dommy

[le****]

I’ve been talking to a woman for the past 8 months every single day for a few hours a day online. Many times our calls will last 8 or 9 hours without even realizing it, so we have naturally gotten very close. She tells me often that she misses her Dommy friends and feeling subby with them and would like that same dynamic with me. I just don’t have any experience being Dommy. I want to learn this and get good at it for her. I’m looking for suggestions on how to get a scene with her started? How things should be handled while in a scene, like things I can say and do? She tells me she likes taking orders and is comfortable with nudity and sexting but prefers things like being a human pet, or a cuddle slave, or just being dominated while doing routine daily tasks to help keep her motivated to do things she’s putting off doing. She’s willing to please me any way I want, but her limits are sending nudes, or talking about fucking or sucking. I’d be very grateful for any suggestions you can give.

[Deleted Member]

If you're only on the phone have a video call like a business meeting and talk about what she would like out of it and what you would like out of it see what she's willing to do see what she needs, to be motivated what words help her the most does she like praise the most or does she prefer treats what does she feel like when she doesn't have motivation what can you do to help her get..a pick me up if she likes being ordered around see what kind of voice she needs stern but loving, loud but coddling, or stern and firm and when you decide to play remember to check in and remember her safe word see if she wants her boundaries pushed or does she like the feeling of danger and the rest you pay attention to as you go along and adapt and change according to what she needs 👍🏽

[Matttster]

I assume this is online?

If so, I would not worry about a “scene”. I would suggest starting by giving her tasks, perhaps stay away from sexual things at first. Ideally tasks that will encourage her to do something she wants to do already; like a diet, or going to the gym, or a set bedtime, something along that line. She must report her success daily and if she did not complete the task, find a proper punishment.

If you know her well enough and your relationship has gotten sexual already, you can give her tasks along that line, although ideally you should know her kinks and keep tasks along her kink lines.

If you Google online submissive tasks, you are likely to find plenty. But don’t just copy things you see. You need to make the tasks unique to your “dynamic” and personalities. Use your imagination, in my opinion the imagination is very important for a Dominant. Don’t want to be boring or predictable.

[ge****]

Take a step back and think about *you* first - what's your motivation for being a dominant? Is it purely to satisfy the needs of this lady, or is there something deeper inside?
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Talk to her more about what she wants and needs, start to build an understanding of that side of her.
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Seek out an on-line questionnaire that lists various elements of BDSM and has you make them 1-5 (or whatever) in terms of interest - both of you complete them independently of one another and then compare notes, which will give you an idea of common interests.
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Read as much as you can on the subject, books, blogs, forum posts and grow your knowledge, not only of the subject but yourself too.
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Remember though that dominance comes from within and it's not something that all can do (I know I can't).

[Lord_Talion]

Consider which aspect you consider dominant that you're not portraying in you life that you could chance to the better