Experienced Doms

[be****]

I find a lot of men on here are listed as doms but once getting into conversation I feel like it's fake. Why is it so hard finding experienced doms?

[ch****]

It seems like there is just a lot of fakes and inexperienced people on her I don't think that a lot of people on here really understand what a Dom is they think they can just boss the other person around and that control is given and not earned not understanding that everything has to be agreed upon by both parties.

[Deleted Member]

Know the rules that Doms should abide by and test your Dom. A Dom knows common procedures and can take on requests for challenge on their pureness. Don’t just give in based on looks or your desires. That will not get you what you long for in the end. I hope this help.

[So****]

It's even worse when the experienced ones are so far away. I'm talking to one in the Netherlands currently.

[Ma****]

Fake ang good Doms existe
Same for subs, serious et non serious existe
So…
But you can meet good once

[it****]

If I may, my Dom is very experienced, not one of those *internet doms* that sit behind a keyboard and demand to be called Sir for no reason.

[ey****]

as a kinda spin off that folk might not like

I mean; finding relationships is hard - that is the brunt

but

while there are and have been experienced Dominants on this site looking for relationships - a lot of the experienced Dominants, single or otherwise, are more active in communities (where they are probably getting a lot of play cos folk know them and they're experienced)

Particularly online - you might be very unlikely to find any form of finished product. 

[Deleted Member]

Because every Tom dick and harry with a belt considers themselves a Dom these days. I always question a 20 something Dom just from sheer lack of life experience. Treating submissives correctly takes an experienced hand to make the session memorable in the right way.

[UK****]

Sadly, I think many are just looking for easy sex and they see 'Dom' and assume the subs will just do as they are told (with them).

Other than the above, what areas are they fake about, lack of experience or something more specific?

 

[Deleted Member]

It does seem like there’s more aspirations rather than capabilities in some of these bios, I mean it’s good to have goals, but I feel it’s more that people don’t know how to get from A to B - communication is the answer to that riddle for those playing at home.

[BigPolly]

You don’t have to be experienced to be a Dom, but like the others have said, Domination has to be earned & there has to be rules.
Just because someone isn’t responding the way you’d hope doesn’t (always) mean they’re fake, the build up to play has to come from both parties. Trust & an even keel needs to be established. 😊

[as****]

This is a place where people can let their freak flag fly. Alot think theyre a dom bc a man is suppose to be in control. Stereotypically speaking, instead of bowing to their queen, mistress etc.

[Ve****]

Of course there are fakes and inexperienced Doms as well as an underwhelming amount of full fledged Doms. The best way to get experience is to actively try it with a willing partner or the much slower and sometimes not-so-fun learning method of self-play/discovery.

If people really want more Doms, spread the word about this app, or maybe give someone who wants to become a Dom some pointers, or a chance (Or don't I'm not your Dad) to try it.

As a inexperienced Switch I know myself all too well, and experience or no experience I can and will delight in performing either role, though being the dominant master (With previously set boundaries) is certainly maximum pleasure. This is my personal reasoning as to why I list myself as a Dom, whether you agree or disagree. (Learning the terminology and remembering it though are a migraine and then some)

Now some speculations on my part as to other possible causes of difficulty in finding a Dom:

•Many people haven't explored their kinky side yet, or have been conditioned not to.

•Other Apps swiping away veteran Doms.

•Some Doms are so good and charasmatic that they don't need an app and are swimming in dominant pleasure and partner(s).

•Rejection.

•Hostility from potential partners.

•Being a closeted Dom.

•Many are already taken or satisfied.

•A substantial majority of the global population tends to be more submissive, making those Dom(s) you seek harder to find in such a big dating/sex pool.

Hopefully this answers your question thoroughly, and thank you for the solid Topic!

Good luck finding your Dommy Mommy/Daddy by the way!

[Deleted Member]

My take is: I think all the different online dating options tend to attract people based on how they see themselves, rather than who they actually are. Tinder is the Wild West. FET is kinky in an edgy but maybe more trad way. Feeld is kinky in a bit more of a hippie-dippie way.

I have definitely met up with more poly and kinky people via Hinge than any other app. Why? It’s marketed as a relationships app… well I think it has to do with user base and because it tends to lean a bit more middle class and progressive people tend to have less constraints and more freedom to explore.

The thing about FET is you’re not getting the whole person, you’re just getting the projection of this idealised sexual version of someone. I know from experience that someone whose profile says little about BDSM but lists some other hobbies like D&D or a sport or whatever is more likely to be an “experienced” Dom or sub, than someone whose profile is just about that.

That said, I think character and innate compatibility of likes are more important than experience. I’m what I would call a “dommy bottom” in the sense that I like to have pleasurable things done to me and then dish out praise and spanks. I’m not inexperienced, but my “experience” wouldn’t be very useful to a sub who’s decided that the only experience they’re interested in involves rope (for example). There are also things which would make me disinterested in a sub which I would tend to brooch quite early on (more experience means more expectations).

I think this is a good network for discussions like this, but in terms of meeting people I would recommend not making it your only avenue, for some of the reasons above!

[ca****]

Because

[ch****]

Personally i got on this app because though i have come to see my self as somewhat of a dom i am still new to it all. So i think that might be the case with at least a few.

[Ch****]

Expecting every dom to be a master with 20 years experience is ridiculous.
.
Find someone who has potential. Learn with them. Grow with them.
Work on being a good sub, rather than just expecting the dom to keep the relationship functioning.

[ca****]

Thats because. Just talking is boring. And why do all the subs are not subs if they were told to go to a place or to come in person. Because. Thats how. You want it to be. The subshould obey and come to meetingpoint

[MissMeMeow]

Be very careful a fake dom I asked to choke me strangled me when I was younger and woke up naked and alone. Make sure you trust them or you’ll end up dead. He split cause he thought he killed me. Best of luck.

[Bl****]

I've run across a lot of subs and a very few Doms here. I've been looking for a switch. Be careful. I thought I found a switch, and what he thought was a great scene was detestable. Just like subs have to have "training" to each Dom's preference, I think there ought to be training that Doms have to go through.

[Bl****]

Most of them "think" they're Doms just because they are male. I think it's hard finding experienced doms because some very smart subs have snatched them up. (If you find a switch, please send him my way? They are even harder to find.)

[Deleted Member]

Because it’s harder to finding a dom girl 😋
I never can find

[Da****]

What gives you this "feeling"? How they respond to questions, they make demands right away, they don't show you respect, they assume you're their sub.. just wondering?

[Glimmering]

Mehh really Is or just want to w**k over you lol

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, giiiaiii said:

Because it’s harder to finding a dom girl 😋
I never can find

Well that’s because if they’re any good at it they tend to become sex workers.