How to be a submissive with dignity

[Me****]

Hello all, 

Although I've identified as a submissive for a long time, I've reached a point in my life where I'm ready to embrace it. 

I want to start putting myself out there in a way that is dignified and attractive. 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. 

 

[london250490]

It’s not easy, but it can only be done together with a Dominant who shares your sense of Dignity. Do not settle for anything less, and in time you may find such special one. Submissive ain’t no rag-doll. Good luck!

[Da****]

Find a Dom/me who respects and earns your submission. Don't just settle for someone.

[An****]

For me it's realize your value

[An****]

I really relate to this. I've known I was a sub since before can remember. I started out being ashamed. Thinking there was something wrong with me. Hiding. In my 20s id flirt with the line. I'd give hints seeked partners I thought would know instinctively. I attracted a lot of toxic people who just wanted to use me. Then I told myself I wanted to fbe open but then jumped in the first person that said that I was exactly their type. This lead to one of the worst experiences of my life. Because I didn't appreciate what I had to offer I felt like nobody else would. But now.. I see. We are very special. Me as a sub. I don’t seek for someone who will please my kinks. Whatever they may be. But someone who wants to satisfy their own kinks through me and see my value. Because that’s THE ONLY way you will truly feel the connection from a dom that all subs seek. As long as you seek to serve yourself you’ll never serve your kink.. and most of all serve your dom.. but protect YOURSELF. respect YOURSELF. and only me those that value you disrespect you.

[Punishersfury]

While i have no been on this forums for long the best advice i can give you is this:
as a submissive explore you mind on what you like and what your iffy on (soft limits) and what's a no (hard limits) once you have that in the for front of your brain ask yourself what is it your exactly seeking in a Dom/me and once you truly answer these questions to yourself start to look into Kink clubs (safe zones basically) where you can get a full grasp of yourself, after that look for you choice of Dom/me and go under trial and always remember sub truly hold all the power and Dom's may only taken what's freely given

[An****]

48 minutes ago, AndiBoi said:

 

Edited August 16, 2022 by AndiBoi
Mistake

[Punishersfury]

2 minutes ago, AndiBoi said:

Idk how this ended up on the from thread haha

opps lmfao

[An****]

1 minute ago, Punishersfury said:

opps lmfao

No it was right after all. Lol the app had its wires crossed I had to switch to browser 😅

[ge****]

There is no single or simple answer OP - but there are lots of things you can do to help yourself - being a member of sites like this is one, but more than that, get involved in them beyond sending endless messages to prospective profiles that you think meet your criteria (often they won't, or you won't meet theirs).
.
Write a decent profile on any site you're on that gives a flavour of you and what you're looking for, back it up with a decent set of pics too.
.
Don't make meeting someone a mission, accept that the chances are slim, but also don't get downhearted about it.
.
Get involved in your local kink community - attend events and clubs not with a view to anything happening other than interacting with others with similar interests - likewise seek out local munches (socials for kinksters) with the same intents.
.
The more you put yourself out there and get to know others, and they you, the more you increase (but don't guarantee) your chances of finding what you are looking for.
.
Give some thought to what it truly means to you to be submissive, what your expectations and desires are, and never compromise your values for the sake of anything - treat others with the respect and consideration which you'd expect for yourself.
.
Follow all that and it won't guarantee a thing, but it will improve your chances of finding what you are looking for.

[ey****]

Knowing your worth is probably the best way to maintain dignity - but this is in neither grossly underestimating it (the subs who come across as desperate for anything) or overestimating it (which can often lead to entitlement, resentment, and the failure of otherwise good relationships)

To approach others as a person, and to treat them as one also until/unless there is any form of dynamic established.

I also think that while there will be many kinks and ideas which are not and will never be for you; attacking them when engaged between other consensual adults also looks weak. 

[Me****]

On 8/16/2022 at 5:27 AM, gemini_man said:

There is no single or simple answer OP - but there are lots of things you can do to help yourself - being a member of sites like this is one, but more than that, get involved in them beyond sending endless messages to prospective profiles that you think meet your criteria (often they won't, or you won't meet theirs).
.
Write a decent profile on any site you're on that gives a flavour of you and what you're looking for, back it up with a decent set of pics too.
.
Don't make meeting someone a mission, accept that the chances are slim, but also don't get downhearted about it.
.
Get involved in your local kink community - attend events and clubs not with a view to anything happening other than interacting with others with similar interests - likewise seek out local munches (socials for kinksters) with the same intents.
.
The more you put yourself out there and get to know others, and they you, the more you increase (but don't guarantee) your chances of finding what you are looking for.
.
Give some thought to what it truly means to you to be submissive, what your expectations and desires are, and never compromise your values for the sake of anything - treat others with the respect and consideration which you'd expect for yourself.
.
Follow all that and it won't guarantee a thing, but it will improve your chances of finding what you are looking for.

This is really great and meaningful advice, thank you!