Du**** Posted November 22, 2022 Posted November 22, 2022 23 minutes ago, Freetobare said: Surely the point is if you’re interested in someone you SHOULD put effort in? If it isn’t reciprocated then so be it. But this is NOT a male/female divide and I’m damn sick of hearing that it is. Put the effort in if you like someone, if it isn’t returned don’t them complain about having put in effort. It screams that all you’re after is attention and a quick “fix” If men “had to put a lot more effort in”, I can’t help thinking they’d… put a lot more effort in.
Mr-Brown Posted November 22, 2022 Posted November 22, 2022 12 minutes ago, GoodGirlBetterBrat said: I've been told my profile is too long. And told I'm narrowing my chances of finding what I'm looking for by ruling people out. And told that I'm 'provoking' certain types of people into trying it on. My answer: Good. That's the point. I don't want every Tom, Dick & Mary messaging me their essay of information about themselves and inviting me to get in touch if I'm interested. Hint: I'm not. I want someone who will read what I've written and message if they feel something strikes a chord with them. Someone with a decent profile themselves, so that I can actually have a conversation with them, about what they're/we're interested in. If I've made the effort to create a profile, I expert the other person to be able to match that energy, otherwise it's me doing all the work. This! 👆👆. If they have read it all and said my secret word at the end then I know they have invested some time into me already. That's a good start 😁
Re**** Posted November 22, 2022 Posted November 22, 2022 It works both ways I'm afraid. Often I reply with" don't like chatting to ghosts please update a profile pic only to get *** back. Also it's not easy to write about yourself and keep it true and honest, men like to brag lol. Hence why my profile is short, to the point and has pics Maybe the site admin should allow every faceless profile 1 week to add pic or delete it?
Ceejayuk Posted November 22, 2022 Posted November 22, 2022 Happened to me recently. They say my profile interested them. I go to check on theirs and it was totally blank, she like above said she would answer any questions, but that's not the point, I explained does she not see the irony in that she herself has skipped blank profiles to find someone interesting, yet I cannot do the same. It's nice to have a profile so you can see if you have things in common etc. Oh she did not like that, told me she does not want to fill it out and if that's my attitude then we wont get on, then blocked me.
CopperKnob Posted November 22, 2022 Author Posted November 22, 2022 15 hours ago, kiseu said: I forgot who said this?.🤔 Members who send negative messages only want reactions. I think the same goes for most of the empty profile members, unless they really don't have any form of intelligence. Thank you to the member who said this. You gave me more peace!😘💕 I think that this is often the case, they want to reaction
CopperKnob Posted November 22, 2022 Author Posted November 22, 2022 14 hours ago, GoodGirlBetterBrat said: I'm here, and I have popcorn, cake and ice cream for the show! 🍿 🍰🍦 I see I already missed the first 'mEn HaVe iT wOrsE'... I agree, like many I have a busy life to lead, I'm not here to play quizmaster for some purp who wants to chance their arm by spamming 'hiiii' to every profile they see. Now, back to my ice cream, before it melts... You've covered all food bases I see 😂have a spoonful of icecream for me
CopperKnob Posted November 22, 2022 Author Posted November 22, 2022 8 hours ago, JackReeves said: I have said this time and again, but it's worth reiterating for the current subject. The ratio of submissives to Dominants is about 3:1. And male to female profiles are probably about the same. This means men (assuming heterosexual) have to compete for attention. It's not a fair playing field looking for connections but that's part of life, it isn't fair. The answer ISN'T to message as many profiles as possible hoping for a hit, it is to put care and dedication into how you present yourself to maximise the chances of success with each person you message. In real terms, changing you chance of a positive reply from 0.001% to 1% sounds unimpressive, but your odds of actually starting a conversation and forming a connection went up by 1,000%. And that was the work of 30 minutes, maybe? Dating (and no matter what people say, the Fet app is advertised as a dating app) still very much puts the onus on the man to approach to woman. Why wouldn't you put the care into your presentation that you would in real life? The internet has got people behaving sloppily. Ultimately I think the fact we are initially interacting with a screen gives us a certain amount of anonymity. Within that, people show their true nature. So Copper, be thankful. See it as a crude but effective form of self vetting. Anyone who doesn't put the effort in now certainly won't later and you are better off without. My two pennies, for what they are worth. Oh I do 😂
CopperKnob Posted November 22, 2022 Author Posted November 22, 2022 8 hours ago, Freetobare said: Again, this is not about faceless avatars. And also do you get many messages from faceless avatars? It is about empty profiles. You could have a million pics on your profile but nothing written about yourself - I’m very unlikely to reply even if you look like gods gift to women. I thought that the clue was in the title? Apparently not 🙄
Fa**** Posted November 22, 2022 Posted November 22, 2022 Just now, CopperKnob said: I thought that the clue was in the title? Apparently not 🙄 Clearly you weren’t obvious enough 🤦🏼♀️
CopperKnob Posted November 22, 2022 Author Posted November 22, 2022 6 hours ago, Redwinefan2020 said: It works both ways I'm afraid. Often I reply with" don't like chatting to ghosts please update a profile pic only to get *** back. Also it's not easy to write about yourself and keep it true and honest, men like to brag lol. Hence why my profile is short, to the point and has pics Maybe the site admin should allow every faceless profile 1 week to add pic or delete it? This wasn't a gendered post? I think that a week is a particularly short amount of time if we're looking at timeframes
Deleted Member Posted November 22, 2022 Posted November 22, 2022 9 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said: the assumption that women have it easier works only if you can only see half the picture the logic is simple in the sense that men are often the ones making the first contact (effort!) and might not get a response for a number of reasons (so many other men in competition, "fakes and frauds", that their profile doesn't stand out enough, so on) - whereas women of course, well, even a limited low effort profile is going to get a lot of messages, she can be assured of responses no matter how poor her opening message is (it's how so many men get scammed!) and with so many messages she gets the pick, right? Imagine tomorrow you wake up to, say, 20 messages. It'd be like... fuck yes... but what would you do? Reply to all 20? Do you really have the mental capacity to follow 20 conversations at once (spoiler alert : no) especially as some of the messages and profiles will be mixed quality. Even the most reasonable of person is going to prioritise messaging back those who they can see things in common with on people's profiles, who they have a reference point with, who isn't going to drag them into a cycle of small talk which goes nowhere. To say otherwise is completely dishonest. And then what happens - people start getting pissy that you don't reply to them. You were conversing with someone but then thought you'd replied back but didn't keep track cos of all the other messages and then it becomes difficult to get that conversation back on track. You start referencing the wrong person in conversations On top of this, keeping up with conversations is extremely time consuming if you give each of these 20 people just 5 minutes of your time it's nearly *2 hours* And you know. Chances are none of these 20 are a good match for you, but you get told it's easy cos you got 20 messages. Equally, that a woman with a limited profile even gets messages says more about how low standards the men have, then it does about her. I often keep saying, if a woman has very little on her profile for you to go off - why is someone even messaging them? It's only easier if your standards are lower. So your saying women have it harder because they have the pick of the litter. Women getting endless messages will ignore most and focus on 2 or 3 at most...and they have it hard how?
sm**** Posted November 22, 2022 Posted November 22, 2022 The main point is total "Blank" profiles trying to contact users. It can take time for some to summon the courage up to fill their's in and that can take a wee while. So a week is far too short a timeframe. Let people find their feet, comfort zone and hopefully they find the time to read forum posts or even ask questions, before they inundate the members list with messages. The main problem is the throw away account types with no details what so ever, messaging in the misguided hope they will hook up, with out the time and effort put in, quit shallow, and as i stated before a major red flag. Profiles with no face pic "like mine" i have it in my hidden gallery, we all can't be as free as we want on the internet, just for personal vanilla job safety etc but if they have managed to write a bit about themselves in a profile it shows some effort and thought has gone in. Which can be appreciated by those that have been contacted. At the end of the day we are communicating with "strangers" from around the globe, safety is paramount, if you don't have scooby in your description jog on before contacting others, they will see it as a "who the foook are you and ignore you and hope they don't get a barrage of *** for not answering.
CopperKnob Posted November 22, 2022 Author Posted November 22, 2022 11 minutes ago, Tommo6989 said: So your saying women have it harder because they have the pick of the litter. Women getting endless messages will ignore most and focus on 2 or 3 at most...and they have it hard how? That's not what was said but I think that your choice of the word "litter" may at times be accurate
ey**** Posted November 22, 2022 Posted November 22, 2022 5 minutes ago, Tommo6989 said: So your saying women have it harder because they have the pick of the litter. Women getting endless messages will ignore most and focus on 2 or 3 at most...and they have it hard how? I didn't say anyone had it particularly harder - just that women don't have it easier the whole concept of "pick of the litter" is part of the short sightedness that fails many men - although does sum up that most advances are rubbish. -- there's a scene in House of the Dragon where Rhaenyra is entertaining suitors. And every single one is awful. Or, if not awful, just really not what interests her. Alicent points out that most women are lucky to get a choice of 2 suitors, and here she is turning them all down. Rhaenyra has her own love interests and while she is looking for someone to be wed off to; she doesn't want to just settle for any one. Granted, eventually she has that choice taken from her and it doesn't go well. But having so many people seemingly interested doesn't make things easier. It's just more people to say no to. There is then also the case of whether these potential suitors are actually interest in *her* or because she was attractive, or because being with her gave them status Having a message from someone who is genuinely interested in you is far more valuable than having fifty from people who just see the other person as attractive, or even just "there" - because otherwise it's just the labour of having to say no to so many people for whatever reason. Particularly also when we're talking relationships - the women are chatting to, y'know, the men. And society is loosely split between men and women. Granted, some dating apps might be a little skewed, but then it would be foolish to just put all of eggs into one basket
Ar**** Posted November 22, 2022 Posted November 22, 2022 2 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: Having a message from someone who is genuinely interested in you is far more valuable than having fifty from people who just see the other person as attractive, or even just "there" - because otherwise it's just the labour of having to say no to so many people for whatever reason. So much this 💗
Deleted Member Posted November 22, 2022 Posted November 22, 2022 I used the word "litter" for that very reason.
se**** Posted November 22, 2022 Posted November 22, 2022 21 hours ago, Aranhis said: It's been hard-wired now, I'm forever your Sheila 🤣 You can be Sheila E for me. You just need the drums, and shake your butt. 😂
se**** Posted November 22, 2022 Posted November 22, 2022 For most, there is no pick of the litter. Most men copy and paste, write things that has nothing to do with my profile or other stupid stuff. While back a guy wrote: "Hi...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................." Lost count if I made 100 characters.🤔
Ar**** Posted November 22, 2022 Posted November 22, 2022 44 minutes ago, kiseu said: You can be Sheila E for me. You just need the drums, and shake your butt. 😂 That's a niche reference - I'll take it! 😂
Deleted Member Posted November 25, 2022 Posted November 25, 2022 I 100% feel this on every level, couldn't have worded it better myself. I appreciate you 😅🙏
Deleted Member Posted November 30, 2022 Posted November 30, 2022 I have a profile pic and others are private. And since I’ve been on this website, I have yet to see or talk to anyone who is remotely real only people looking to sell scammers people trying to get you go to website, so why do I even write anything and waste my time? 
CopperKnob Posted November 30, 2022 Author Posted November 30, 2022 13 minutes ago, steveNY22 said: I have a profile pic and others are private. And since I’ve been on this website, I have yet to see or talk to anyone who is remotely real only people looking to sell scammers people trying to get you go to website, so why do I even write anything and waste my time?  If you take a look at your profile, there's a oot of negativity. Your bio basically says "ask me anything I'm an open book" if you were an open book, words would have fallen out and into you profile. There may be 'fakes' here but, there is a large number of people who are not
Deleted Member Posted November 30, 2022 Posted November 30, 2022 Not in the greater Ny area there arent
Deleted Member Posted November 30, 2022 Posted November 30, 2022 This site makes me negative even when i had a full profile same. Go to this website go to that website pay me to talk to you when that’s all you hear and that’s all you see that’s how you get so I apologize for being negative but this is supposed to be a dating site I had a dating profile up but there didn’t do anything.   I was even a paying customer at first. 
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