You're All Fake!

[Ar****]

45 minutes ago, MrOtto74 said:

The only women here that will respond to messages are the ones after your ***. They immediately want to switch to a different platform and within minutes are after ***. I hate I actually spent *** on this app. No one is here for a genuine connection.

Your personal experience is not reflective of everyone's. I have to wonder what drew you to the types of profiles which seek mon*y and were so taken by them that you wanted to reach out in the first place?

Either way, making sweeping statements and disparaging the women who do respond and ARE genuine/couldn't give a cr*p about yours or anyone else's mon*y (just because you have not encountered them in the whole week-and-a-bit you have been here) does not portray you in a great light.

Edited June 20 by Aranhis

[ey****]

1 hour ago, MrOtto74 said:

The only women here that will respond to messages are the ones after your ***. They immediately want to switch to a different platform and within minutes are after ***. I hate I actually spent *** on this app. No one is here for a genuine connection.

here's the lowdown

you've been here a week

you have mass messaged a load of women.  The "genuine" ones can see exactly what you are doing. They know you are not interested in them, you are interested in two tits and a pulse.

That isn't a turn on for them.

However, yep, those who want paid - whilst not permitted on the site, they ALWAYS reply, because that's what they do

 

So if you are ONLY getting responses from those, then this is a you problem.  You are using the app in ways that are off-putting to women

Equally, been here a week - "genuine connection" takes more than a week.  It is going to take time for people to build interest in you.    And if you WERE after a "genuine connection" you wouldn't be mass messaging women - so it turns out you're lying - which makes YOU the fake.

 

[Mr****]

1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said:

here's the lowdown

you've been here a week

you have mass messaged a load of women.  The "genuine" ones can see exactly what you are doing. They know you are not interested in them, you are interested in two tits and a pulse.

That isn't a turn on for them.

However, yep, those who want paid - whilst not permitted on the site, they ALWAYS reply, because that's what they do

 

So if you are ONLY getting responses from those, then this is a you problem.  You are using the app in ways that are off-putting to women

Equally, been here a week - "genuine connection" takes more than a week.  It is going to take time for people to build interest in you.    And if you WERE after a "genuine connection" you wouldn't be mass messaging women - so it turns out you're lying - which makes YOU the fake.

 

I haven't mass messaged anyone. I've read every profile that I've initiated a message on. As for you making assumptions, that's on you. I'm not getting into a ***ing contest with you. Have no ***, when my paid subscription is up, I'll be gone. Mostly because of fake people and people like you who like being an ass.

[Ka****]

1 hour ago, MrOtto74 said:

I haven't mass messaged anyone. I've read every profile that I've initiated a message on. As for you making assumptions, that's on you. I'm not getting into a ***ing contest with you. Have no ***, when my paid subscription is up, I'll be gone. Mostly because of fake people and people like you who like being an ass.

I can only suggest you report the profiles asking for ***. My experience is that they're really obvious. As a woman who is here genuinely - as someone in this comment thread can attest to (as they've met me in real life) if that is the attitude youre putting out i can assure you its your attitude that's the issue. All I see from Aranhis is reason, though I suspect as a newbie and a definite rise of wronguns due to the way this site is now advertised in the mainstream you are getting a lot of bots. Blacksheep is right, noones making a genuine connection in a week, not anywhere near for a scene! Your profile is literally blank - whether true for you or not... blank profiles looking for 'like minded people to connect with' is a massive red flag to the average woman here because you may as well write 'Here for a shag', put some effort into your profile, talk about yourself :)

[ey****]

3 hours ago, MrOtto74 said:

I haven't mass messaged anyone. I've read every profile that I've initiated a message on. As for you making assumptions, that's on you. I'm not getting into a ***ing contest with you. Have no ***, when my paid subscription is up, I'll be gone. Mostly because of fake people and people like you who like being an ass.

so, like - I can tell you where there's merit to my assumptions.   Like, maybe I'm not being fair - but there's this pattern I see.   And there's sympathies I have, for sure. I wrote some of these on the previous page of this thread. The excitement and anticipation, you've joined a site - message a couple of people the excitement, the anticipation - then, oh, it's a scammer.  Well that sucks. And it does.

But honestly, and I'm sorry - but there's guys who have some or more traits that really do not help their cause. And most of it is basical ass stuff.    Some can't be helped. Day 1 on a site and of COURSE you're going to want to message people, why wouldn't you?  But for the person receiving it, they're going to look at your profile.  They can see you joined that day - and they will weigh that up in what they do next.  They might also look at your message count and if they can see it's like - sent 10, received 1 or whatever - they can see you're messaging multiple people - so at this point they might be about to just disregard you because it's like he's not interested, he's new and horny and just messaging a few people.  This especially true if your profile is low effort, no or limited profile - because they feel you've just kinda rushed into messaging without a care in your own profile.  

It gets into the "anything you want to know, just ask" but they have to want to know something about you.  Because at the minute you're just the latest guy who has signed up, messaged a few people, put little effort into their profile - of which there's been a long line.

Of course, if the message you've sent is really good they may overlook this, but you already made this harder.  Replying should be something they're excited to engage with, not that feels like a chore.  And equally, no matter how good you do things - if they're not interested, they're, well, not interested.

The other thing of course.  A lot of, well, "genuine" people don't always log in every day.  Some do.  *** folk and scammers DEFINITELY do - but not everyone logs in every day - so you might message someone on day one and it might take them a few days to read and consider a response.  So, like - any who you might have messaged earlier this week - who are logging on Friday night, might see you've been messaging a few people and see your forum post complaining about lack of responses, fakes, and scammers - and promptly close the DM

you say the only women that will reply want paid - this is something from your own words I can take you to have message more than a handful of women

But equally, even if someone had replied positively; building a 'genuine connection' (somewhat of an often weird buzz phrase) takes time.  Yes, there's people here for it - but, so far, you and many others have done little to demonstrate being good to connect with.

And it comes back to again - a kinda entitlement, you've been here a week, you've bought a membership - so thus demand replies!  That's arrogance and entitlement.  No one is sitting round waiting for the next guy who thinks he's owed something to slide into the DMs 

[Mr****]

15 hours ago, Kaserai said:

I can only suggest you report the profiles asking for ***. My experience is that they're really obvious. As a woman who is here genuinely - as someone in this comment thread can attest to (as they've met me in real life) if that is the attitude youre putting out i can assure you its your attitude that's the issue. All I see from Aranhis is reason, though I suspect as a newbie and a definite rise of wronguns due to the way this site is now advertised in the mainstream you are getting a lot of bots. Blacksheep is right, noones making a genuine connection in a week, not anywhere near for a scene! Your profile is literally blank - whether true for you or not... blank profiles looking for 'like minded people to connect with' is a massive red flag to the average woman here because you may as well write 'Here for a shag', put some effort into your profile, talk about yourself :)

You're right. It's hopeless and I'm worthless so I'll leave y'all to it. Goodbye.

[ey****]

2 hours ago, MrOtto74 said:

You're right. It's hopeless and I'm worthless so I'll leave y'all to it. Goodbye.

to be fair - those are your words, no one elses.

But this is also the problem; folk come along with glaring pitfalls - and then get defensive or - well, like to be an ass - when someone in any way tries to give suggestions

And this cycle continues - maybe you go, and come back in 6 months and try and fail the same way.  Or maybe you can kinda think, ok, what can I do so I don't come across as the latest low-effort guy after a shag. 

[Ka****]

4 hours ago, MrOtto74 said:

You're right. It's hopeless and I'm worthless so I'll leave y'all to it. Goodbye.

I literally didn't say that, I said put some effort into your profile. Your a grown man, you understand your mand child tantrum is on your wall for all the see, women get 6-10 messages off men a day, we look at your profile. No effort, buzz words we associate with easy shag/got lost to tinder. While im trying to explain this to you to help you, you put words in my mouth and huff off. You're a grown man! You say in your profile youre a dom, doms are accountable and able to take and reflect on feedback. Sadly i think you've come here thinking the ladies here are not worthy humans, but easy lays and sadly your attitude leads me to believe Blacksheep is right - you've paid for the app so you think yoire entitled to a womans time. It is entitled. But we are entitled to be treated as humans, we are entitled to only engage with profiles who actually put effort in. Perhaps going to a hookup app is best for you, but this isn't one of those.

[Birble]

Friday at 05:45 PM, eyemblacksheep said:

here's the lowdown

you've been here a week

you have mass messaged a load of women.  The "genuine" ones can see exactly what you are doing. They know you are not interested in them, you are interested in two tits and a pulse.

That isn't a turn on for them.

However, yep, those who want paid - whilst not permitted on the site, they ALWAYS reply, because that's what they do

 

So if you are ONLY getting responses from those, then this is a you problem.  You are using the app in ways that are off-putting to women

Equally, been here a week - "genuine connection" takes more than a week.  It is going to take time for people to build interest in you.    And if you WERE after a "genuine connection" you wouldn't be mass messaging women - so it turns out you're lying - which makes YOU the fake.

 

👏👏👏👏👏👏👊

[Deleted Member]

This post is ev.er.y.thing! I did not put this so eloquently, or in depth, on my status 😂 I recently moved all previous profile photos to a private album accessible to those who make an effort to know more than just my soft, jiggly body hahaha. I have found it interesting that the individuals screaming about "fake" people on here, for whatever reason, are usually the ones who have not taken time to fill out their profiles, have no real information to determine what type of person they may be, and are the ones I run into that just want a quick hook up with an immediate message "telling" me what to do like they have earned that privilege before even asking my name. I have become more selective for sure, of course giving everyone the benefit of the doubt before excusing myself from the interaction.. Thank you for calling this out!

[Deleted Member]

Wednesday at 01:31 PM, Unforgiven said:

I feel the *** of trying to make real connections, only to find that the women who are willing to talk aren’t interested in this lifestyle. They are hunting for victims to scam. I get that every woman is not interested in me. But the only ones that have contacted me, are not genuine with their intentions. They seem to be interested in my *** though sadly. Now please do not misconstrue what I am saying. I am sure that there are plenty of genuine people here. I just can’t seem to find them. Looking for friends on here let alone a playmate seems nigh impossible. Cmon ladies, help a brother out who feels Lost and alone in the dungeon.

I think blacksheep puts it so very well, it is a jog, not a sprint. Well, okay, my words, his idea 😂. From a woman's perspective I feel overwhelmed by the amount of messages I was getting daily from anonymous sex requests and dick pics and "Doms" telling me what to do in their initial interactions with me. I am fat, NOT desperate. I figure my current status has helped ease the amount of DMs I get just by stating what I am NOT here for, a genuine person with genuine interest will look over the rest of my profile and either reach out interested in a real connection, or keep scrolling to find the DTF girls. Be patient, if you find someone(s) that look like they may align with what you are seeking, send more than a "Hey," or "How are you?" Those are the messages that (I) usually get ignored. Ask a question about something you read on a profile, along with offer up your answer to that same question. Start a CONVERSATION, not a ticking time b0mb. I hope that helps you!

[Ka****]

48 minutes ago, SSBBW54136 said:

I think blacksheep puts it so very well, it is a jog, not a sprint. Well, okay, my words, his idea 😂. From a woman's perspective I feel overwhelmed by the amount of messages I was getting daily from anonymous sex requests and dick pics and "Doms" telling me what to do in their initial interactions with me. I am fat, NOT desperate. I figure my current status has helped ease the amount of DMs I get just by stating what I am NOT here for, a genuine person with genuine interest will look over the rest of my profile and either reach out interested in a real connection, or keep scrolling to find the DTF girls. Be patient, if you find someone(s) that look like they may align with what you are seeking, send more than a "Hey," or "How are you?" Those are the messages that (I) usually get ignored. Ask a question about something you read on a profile, along with offer up your answer to that same question. Start a CONVERSATION, not a ticking time b0mb. I hope that helps you!

If it makes you feel better, or it may not... its not your weight that compels these people to speak to you like that. I get it too. Often followed with what they'd do to me if they got me in shibari, showing their complete lack of understanding of the art, as what they describe would almost certainly give me nerve damage. This is usually back peddled with 'a willingness to learn' but it's a pay off. They'll learn shibari if they can bed me. I hope youre not finding it as soul destroying at me lovely!

[Deleted Member]

29 minutes ago, Kaserai said:

If it makes you feel better, or it may not... its not your weight that compels these people to speak to you like that. I get it too. Often followed with what they'd do to me if they got me in shibari, showing their complete lack of understanding of the art, as what they describe would almost certainly give me nerve damage. This is usually back peddled with 'a willingness to learn' but it's a pay off. They'll learn shibari if they can bed me. I hope youre not finding it as soul destroying at me lovely!

Only a little soul destroying 😂

[Ka****]

15 minutes ago, SSBBW54136 said:

Only a little soul destroying 😂

Keep your chin up <3 Eventually we will have blocked all the idiots ❤️

[Ka****]

Just now, Kaserai said:

Keep your chin up <3 Eventually we will have blocked all the idiots ❤️

That was supposed to have a heart emoji at the end. Good luck lovely!

[Deleted Member]

15 minutes ago, Kaserai said:

Keep your chin up <3 Eventually we will have blocked all the idiots ❤️

🤣🤣🤣

[fl****]

I'm new here...are all the profiles asking for a $50 "one time tribute fee" real? I've been hit with this scam over and over again on multiple platforms which is how I ended up here. Thus far it's been more of the same. I'm trying to explore a new lifestyle and all I can find are people asking me to "worship" them and asking for monetary donations with signed commitments before we even see each other naked.

[Ar****]

1 hour ago, flipflopfarmer said:

I'm new here...are all the profiles asking for a $50 "one time tribute fee" real? I've been hit with this scam over and over again on multiple platforms which is how I ended up here. Thus far it's been more of the same. I'm trying to explore a new lifestyle and all I can find are people asking me to "worship" them and asking for monetary donations with signed commitments before we even see each other naked.

These people are scammers, and unfortunately a great many have found their way here with the launch of the app. There is a great community somewhere beneath all the chaff, but it is getting ever more disenchanted with things and increasingly difficult for newcomers to find and connect with. It will happen with time though; the forums are very much your friend for this purpose.

 

In the meanwhile please be sure to report any profiles asking for $$$ in whatever way, shape or form. Good luck with your journey and exploration. 

Edited June 25 by Aranhis

[fl****]

20 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

These people are scammers, and unfortunately a great many have found their way here with the launch of the app. There is a great community somewhere beneath all the chaff, but it is getting ever more disenchanted with things and increasingly difficult for newcomers to find and connect with. It will happen with time though; the forums are very much your friend for this purpose.

 

In the meanwhile please be sure to report any profiles asking for $$$ in whatever way, shape or form. Good luck with your journey and exploration. 

Hearing this from a real person is truly inspriational. Thank you for your guidance. Thank you for confirming that I am in-fact being targeted by scams. I've encountered literally more scammers than conversations and I was beginning to question what this scene is actually about. Now, I'm beginning to understand. I feel much less lonely knowing I'm not the only freak on the internet with both good intentions and the naughtiest of minds. I'm glad there are still wholesome people who want to turn this into a spiritually positive thing rather than a business or a cult. I guess the unspoken minority is being crushed by formality, but we are surviving. Such has always been the struggle; I guess that's why they call it "getting lucky."

[le****]

Im actually alive and real.... Man of course and straight

[ey****]

6 hours ago, flipflopfarmer said:

I'm new here...are all the profiles asking for a $50 "one time tribute fee" real? I've been hit with this scam over and over again on multiple platforms which is how I ended up here. Thus far it's been more of the same. I'm trying to explore a new lifestyle and all I can find are people asking me to "worship" them and asking for monetary donations with signed commitments before we even see each other naked.

So - whether they are real or not, two thoughts (1) it's not permitted on this platform anyway so report and ignore, even if they are legit they risk having their profile deleted and you lose contact (2) is this even a route you'd want to go down?

On, say, twitter there are folk who are probably legit who go down that route and it's very much a "seperate yourself from everyone else who wants my attention" and of course - there are those not legit who copy that model.   Mind, for me the clue something is off is that it's "one time" - usually this would be an "initial" approach 

Personally.... while, yeah - absolutely I've dabbled in pro circles.... this isn't a route I'd be taking on a *dating* site, nor would need to.    

[Ka****]

5 hours ago, flipflopfarmer said:

Hearing this from a real person is truly inspriational. Thank you for your guidance. Thank you for confirming that I am in-fact being targeted by scams. I've encountered literally more scammers than conversations and I was beginning to question what this scene is actually about. Now, I'm beginning to understand. I feel much less lonely knowing I'm not the only freak on the internet with both good intentions and the naughtiest of minds. I'm glad there are still wholesome people who want to turn this into a spiritually positive thing rather than a business or a cult. I guess the unspoken minority is being crushed by formality, but we are surviving. Such has always been the struggle; I guess that's why they call it "getting lucky."

I think here has ruined itself because going to mainstream, there's no filter to ensure people are actually into kink rather than getting laid. I've encountered a lot of fakes here as I've said in my previous comment, there's a serious lack of intention from the men too and they aren't scammer bots. They're real people who have no idea what kink is, gets me all excited then I realise they're so dom they cant lead themselves to self discovery or a workshop. Tbh while you identify yourself as a freak I don't think that resonates with a lot of us, our desires are normal for us same for getting lucky - like what do you mean? That term is used usually for getting laid but do you mean actually finding someone who is actually going for the spiritual experience? I go to real life places and intend to do more because Im sick of 99.9% of men here having no intention of actually exploring kink - whether it's because they see it as a normal dating app due to ignorance, are delusional in thinking they're a dom when they can't even lead their own kink journey nevermind lead anyone else or whether they're just looking for an easy lay. Just yesterday I saw someone berating a woman here who said she didn't want to sext because 'that's what this site is for, letting out sexual frustrations' aside from the obviously pr3dat0ry undertones... it speaks volumes to what some folks are here for

[fl****]

17 minutes ago, Kaserai said:

I think here has ruined itself because going to mainstream, there's no filter to ensure people are actually into kink rather than getting laid. I've encountered a lot of fakes here as I've said in my previous comment, there's a serious lack of intention from the men too and they aren't scammer bots. They're real people who have no idea what kink is, gets me all excited then I realise they're so dom they cant lead themselves to self discovery or a workshop. Tbh while you identify yourself as a freak I don't think that resonates with a lot of us, our desires are normal for us same for getting lucky - like what do you mean? That term is used usually for getting laid but do you mean actually finding someone who is actually going for the spiritual experience? I go to real life places and intend to do more because Im sick of 99.9% of men here having no intention of actually exploring kink - whether it's because they see it as a normal dating app due to ignorance, are delusional in thinking they're a dom when they can't even lead their own kink journey nevermind lead anyone else or whether they're just looking for an easy lay. Just yesterday I saw someone berating a woman here who said she didn't want to sext because 'that's what this site is for, letting out sexual frustrations' aside from the obviously pr3dat0ry undertones... it speaks volumes to what some folks are here for

I was raised very vanilla and used to look at my kinky nature as sinful. I'm still learning to cope with the person I am however I feel like I'm 10 years too late and that this is something I should have explored when I was young and not thinking ahead so much. I'm very socially awkward and I don't have many female friends anymore so going to a workshop is something that perhaps I should be lead to. I've never seen myself as a Dom but I feel like others see that in me. You're actually spot on in interpreting what I meant when I mentioned "getting lucky." Ultimately I crave spiritual connection and trying to find that on an app is like trying to know how a puppy will behave by looking at a newspaper ad. I don't know where I stand when it comes to a FWB or a long-term relationship I'm really just trying to make female friends. Meeting people is rough on apps because I heavily depend on energy and body language to communicate. I feel like many people have different definitions to what kink is and it's especially confusing when I can't discern between clear intentions and role play/fantasy. No, I'm not trying to sign paperwork and have my life controlled that's not what I'm into. It starts in a femdom context and without fail seems to take the slave contract direction. It's so common I began to wonder if that's what BDSM is like it's a secret religion or something. I'm slowly comprehending that this is a shitshow. Sorry if I ***ed anybody off...this is why I despise cell phones. It's like a shifty, unfulfilling version of real life where everybody expects you to market yourself with digital media skills that don't apply to face to face. I'm fucked before I get a chance.

[fl****]

21 minutes ago, Kaserai said:

I think here has ruined itself because going to mainstream, there's no filter to ensure people are actually into kink rather than getting laid. I've encountered a lot of fakes here as I've said in my previous comment, there's a serious lack of intention from the men too and they aren't scammer bots. They're real people who have no idea what kink is, gets me all excited then I realise they're so dom they cant lead themselves to self discovery or a workshop. Tbh while you identify yourself as a freak I don't think that resonates with a lot of us, our desires are normal for us same for getting lucky - like what do you mean? That term is used usually for getting laid but do you mean actually finding someone who is actually going for the spiritual experience? I go to real life places and intend to do more because Im sick of 99.9% of men here having no intention of actually exploring kink - whether it's because they see it as a normal dating app due to ignorance, are delusional in thinking they're a dom when they can't even lead their own kink journey nevermind lead anyone else or whether they're just looking for an easy lay. Just yesterday I saw someone berating a woman here who said she didn't want to sext because 'that's what this site is for, letting out sexual frustrations' aside from the obviously pr3dat0ry undertones... it speaks volumes to what some folks are here for

As far as the "freak" thing goes we can have a conversation about my fetishes and then perhaps somebody with experience can identify WTF I actually am, with all due respect. Seriously, I just don't know how to present myself digitally without tone and it's very frustrating. I identify as a freak because I have uncommon fetishes that I don't even know how to go about discussing. For some reason I'll tell the world online and I don't have that mental block here. Ti's the real me.

[Ka****]

23 minutes ago, flipflopfarmer said:

I was raised very vanilla and used to look at my kinky nature as sinful. I'm still learning to cope with the person I am however I feel like I'm 10 years too late and that this is something I should have explored when I was young and not thinking ahead so much. I'm very socially awkward and I don't have many female friends anymore so going to a workshop is something that perhaps I should be lead to. I've never seen myself as a Dom but I feel like others see that in me. You're actually spot on in interpreting what I meant when I mentioned "getting lucky." Ultimately I crave spiritual connection and trying to find that on an app is like trying to know how a puppy will behave by looking at a newspaper ad. I don't know where I stand when it comes to a FWB or a long-term relationship I'm really just trying to make female friends. Meeting people is rough on apps because I heavily depend on energy and body language to communicate. I feel like many people have different definitions to what kink is and it's especially confusing when I can't discern between clear intentions and role play/fantasy. No, I'm not trying to sign paperwork and have my life controlled that's not what I'm into. It starts in a femdom context and without fail seems to take the slave contract direction. It's so common I began to wonder if that's what BDSM is like it's a secret religion or something. I'm slowly comprehending that this is a shitshow. Sorry if I ***ed anybody off...this is why I despise cell phones. It's like a shifty, unfulfilling version of real life where everybody expects you to market yourself with digital media skills that don't apply to face to face. I'm fucked before I get a chance.

I think most are raised vanilla, even if the family are into it. Unless its 24/7 power exchange it's not appropriate for kids to know what their parents get up to behind closed doors! Haha. I believe everything happens in it's time, i started the same age as you, Im only a year ahead and the more I learn I don't think I was in the right place emotionally or mentally. I also carried a lot of shame. Not because I felt like a freak but because I am outwardly dominant so I felt 'weak' in a way, I have major difficulties asking for help so I was i supposed to submit to someone? Was i a bad sub because of the chorus' of 'Submission is a gift' didn't ring with me and I felt submission was earned? Was i in the completely wrong place? I dont attend workshops with anyone, i go by myself and I refer to it as a zen retreat. For me everyone's been so friendly, everyone's fully clothes and it's strictly not sexual, we are just exploring as fellow travelers. There have been people there who don't involve in the social aspects but I guess you have to pick what's more comfortable for you, waiting for a magical unicorn to show you the way, or your comfort? I say unicorn cause as youre quickly learning... authentic people on here are few and far between, then you gotta hope they wanna come to workshops haha. I think not knowing where you stand is okay, as long as youre open about it so the person on the other end is aware as are you. There's nothing messier than not being able to control your own feelings, whatever comes, submissive or dominant i suppose. From my experience so far, anyone who bounds up to you instantly wanting to play has the wrong intentions, meaningfully or not. Even a guy a met irl wanted to start exploring kink in a planltonuc way and he overwhelmed himself and crashed within 3 months because he didn't put the ground work in. He got so excited for a kink buddy/play partner he couldn't work out his own feelings or separate the exploration from me and ultimately treated me in a really crappy way for overwhelming himself. I'd agree BDSM is a kinda secret religion - everyone's got their own interpretation of it and how the 'god' lays the land. Some doms think they're God's, some doms think they're submissives are God's. Some think *** is an absolute must have, some thing leather and chains are. As with any religion, I suppose in this metaphor, gotta work out who aligns to you :D