how to handle a brat?

[Deleted Member]

can experienced doms or anyone share their knowledge about how to handle brats that love to be dominated but won't listen to you?

[Deleted Member]

As a brat that is the point. We don’t listen to get dominated and to get punished. We push buttons and disobey for that exact reason. To prove you’re serious about wanting them to listen take away the punishments and kind be like “oh you want to be a big girl now.” At least that’s how I cave is when I see my dom suddenly not care about what I’m doing

[ChristySub]

From a brat, I become bratty when I want to provoke a reaction. To make him manhandle me and make me submit or receive a promised punishment. You need to find your subs reason for being bratty and go from there

[4R****]

Oh I do love discussions on brats, and bratting in general, although I still have an issue with the name 'brat' and always will have (search the forum for "Are Brats Using The Wrong Title" for more info on this).

I do love the playfulness that comes with a brat, and I'm the proud owner of one myself. She often thinks she has the upper hand only to find out that I've out-bratted her and she's walked straight into my trap.

[MasterWakka]

Punishment in various forms it is attention seeking, you can use a firm hand or naughty corners etc. It's about authority and gravitas that you need to have

[ey****]

the two of you need a simple conversation

and that is - if she isn't listening to you, if she is being bratty, if she is being pushy

that, what methods of punishment are acceptable for this?   Because if you'd had this conversation you'd know what is appropriate.

But you also need an overriding stop yourself - because some brats can be guilty of taking things a little too far - for example when the mood isn't right or you don't have the time/energy for play 

However, of course, if you never have the appropriate time/energy then there may be a mismatch in the relationship. 

[DJ****]

Set her lines to do, remove playtime until they’re done. (I will listen/behave etc).
Implement orgasm bans, double down on punishments with no reward afterwards (after care is still a must)

[tf****]

Honestly, the whole concept is a game. The moment you feed into it you’re just making it rewarding for them. “Brats only brat so they can be tamed and know that you are serious”. Don’t even entertain one unless you’re willing to have your time wasted on petty and meaningless things. If you’re okay with it, just don’t humor them and let them do their thing and show them they aren’t bothering you one bit. That’s the worst thing for them.

[Ri****]

Generally when bratting they are trying to elicit a response from you. It's like when a child misbehaves in order to gain attention from thier parent.

If you're you aren't in the mood for that shit or they are bratting in a way you want to discourage, use a punishment they hate. If you are in the mood or want encourage, then a punishment they enjoy.

If they are wild and never listening then lay the hammer down, EVERY TIME. Spare the rod, spoil the child.

[Lord_Talion]

Bondage, hair pulling, 7 foot long dragons tail 3M ear muffs

Not all brats are Littles and not all Littles are brats.

[Si****]

😅 tbh yeah .. naughty corners are the worst for me! I brat for spankings but she knows that. This might backfire at first but after a lil bit of repetition anytime its expecting something to happen, should slowly crush it 😄

[Deleted Member]

Personally I dislike the word brat but understand why it's used. For me it's not really being a brat, it's testing the boundaries and security the Dom gives. His dedication to the commitment within the dynamic/relationship, it gives a sense of security as well as pleasure when being kept in line. Everyone is different to the type of "punishment" that's needed to keep them in line so I would communicate with them to find out why they are being "bratty" so you can fulfil the need they are looking for in that behaviour

[Ch****]

Depends on the brat and the arrangements.
If bratting is a part thats enjoyed by both and is there for 'reason to punish' then fair game.
If its getting out of control and not enjoyed then questions need to be asked why is this happening?, whats missing?

[Me****]

Work smarter-not harder
When you know their desires you hold the power to give or withhold.
Behaviour is quickly corrected when their favourite carrot dangles just out of their reach….

[Ba****]

If you’re struggling with this then a list of punishments won’t help, However, you could think about it in terms of limits. Agree what types and how much bratty behaviour are ok. Testing the lower limits might get them punished, but you’re both already clear on where it stops because one of you thinks it’s too much. Over communicate like that for a while, use RAG safe words even, until you’re on the same page. Hopefully that helps.

[CopperKnob]

7 hours ago, 4RCH said:

Oh I do love discussions on brats, and bratting in general, although I still have an issue with the name 'brat' and always will have (search the forum for "Are Brats Using The Wrong Title" for more info on this).

I do love the playfulness that comes with a brat, and I'm the proud owner of one myself. She often thinks she has the upper hand only to find out that I've out-bratted her and she's walked straight into my trap.

You do? I ***y hate them!

OP, if someone you are in an established relationship with "won't listen to you", likelihood is that they aren't a "brat"
Read, the thread titled "why are you such a brat?"

[4R****]

17 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

You do? I ***y hate them!
 

I love the playfulness (and I've never been outsmarted by one), but I can't stand the term "brat"! Saying that, most people who came to be brats aren't really brats at all. 

[CopperKnob]

1 hour ago, 4RCH said:

I love the playfulness (and I've never been outsmarted by one), but I can't stand the term "brat"! Saying that, most people who came to be brats aren't really brats at all. 

How so?
I imagine that some get labelled "brat" simply because they don't kowtow to randoms on the internet

[CopperKnob]

9 hours ago, DJR86 said:

Set her lines to do, remove playtime until they’re done. (I will listen/behave etc).
Implement orgasm bans, double down on punishments with no reward afterwards (after care is still a must)

Meanwhile, any attention is well, attention and if attention is the motivator for bratting, that's just not going to work

[4R****]

6 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

How so?
I imagine that some get labelled "brat" simply because they don't kowtow to randoms on the internet

The dictionary definition of a brat is a person who behaves badly, is generally ill-mannered and immature. And it can't be denied that there is certainly a fair few of these people within the community; you know the ones who troll, attack others, flame, manipulate, deliberately cause embarrassment, disagree with everything, start arguments for the sake of it and then play the victim when they get called out claiming that they are acting up because they are a 'brat'.

But the vast number of people who identify as brats are simply a sassy, playful submissive or possibly a Smart A**ed Masochist and would be absolutely horrified if they offended anyone. 

[CopperKnob]

8 minutes ago, 4RCH said:

The dictionary definition of a brat is a person who behaves badly, is generally ill-mannered and immature. And it can't be denied that there is certainly a fair few of these people within the community; you know the ones who troll, attack others, flame, manipulate, deliberately cause embarrassment, disagree with everything, start arguments for the sake of it and then play the victim when they get called out claiming that they are acting up because they are a 'brat'.

But the vast number of people who identify as brats are simply a sassy, playful submissive or possibly a Smart A**ed Masochist and would be absolutely horrified if they offended anyone. 

Agreed.
I'd also add to that, on the flip side of the coin, there appears to be a vast amount of Dtypes who'll label someone as a "brat" to minimise their feelings of rejection where the "brat" has simply had hard and clear limits. It's why I hate the term, it's got awful connotations

[Deleted Member]

What parameters did you agree on for behaviors before playing? Did you create agreed expectations and possible consequences? It sounds like she's getting all the things she wants - to defiant and thumb her nose at you - but what are you getting? Setting parameters in the before is really important, imo.

[Se****]

1 hour ago, CopperKnob said:

Agreed.
I'd also add to that, on the flip side of the coin, there appears to be a vast amount of Dtypes who'll label someone as a "brat" to minimise their feelings of rejection where the "brat" has simply had hard and clear limits. It's why I hate the term, it's got awful connotations

I agree to many men like to think the brat card is an excuse to be extra aggressive outside of play time and it is so sick because a true D/S does not belittle their partner they roast them in an cute manner to which they understand.

[ey****]

there's folk I know who are what you might call brats and it's a wonderful dynamic.  There's lots of different ways they work for different people - but generally - they all took time to really get right.

most kink dynamics are not really for people who want instant results; but these in particular take time and effort to make sure you're on the same page.

There's a lot I see which even when well meaning comes across really red-flaggy.  Like for example people who want it appears they are looking for is someone whose behaviour they can use as an excuse to beat.

Equally, of course, acting up to get an outcome you desire (i.e. play, or specific punishment) can sometimes not be fun for the other person.  And so a question here really of if you're giving them what they want, is it really a punishment - but - if you're doing something else, it still has to be within pre-arranged boundaries.

[Deleted Member]

You want to handle a brat? Then kick them to the curb, and move on; they are not worth their bullsh*t.