THE BEGINNING OF YOUR FETISHES

[crystal-love]

When did you realise that you have a fetish? Do you share it with your sexual partner(s) straightaway? How do you tell them?

[un****]

some i knew i had from the beginning others i discovered during the course of a relationship i’m up front about known kinks as for new ones i don’t often advocate beating around the bush but it really depends on how they respond might get lucky and they were trying to tell you the same thing

[nineinside]

Oooh... In my 20's dating a girl from Amsterdam that was 10 years older then me... Opening my eyes

[ki****]

I found out quite early on that normal sex wasn’t quite doing it. I do try bring it up quite early, however can definitely be taken the wrong way

[Ir****]

Friend had me give her a foot massage at a party in high school, told me what/how to do during it. It’s been femdom and feet ever since

[Ly****]

i realised that i had fetishes by being more interested in the videos of them then the vanilla videos, i found that very soon but that doesn’t matter, the partners i had i was trying to introduce to them the talking of what she/he/they wants and what i want, with the time that we’re getting more and more comfortable in our discussions and sex, i was talking little by little about it, either the person can be shocked in a good way either the person will generally simply tell you that she/he/they are not into it.
Hope that can help, and wishing you luck.
🤍🍄

[Li****]

Early on in first experiences. Didn't know at the time it was a fetish but knew I enjoyed it. Normal sex was dull. I usually mention it maybe a couple of months in, maybe sooner. Depends on the person and how much we've opened up so far

[An****]

I can't remember a time in my development that I didn't know I was into some unconventional stuff, and a lot of it can probably be traced back to the repression of my sexuality or of pleasure in general (thanks, religious upbringing). I share my kinks fairly early into a new relationship, like first or second date. My sexuality is now a big part of my life, and my fetishes are a big part of my sexuality, so I want to make sure I'm on the same page as my partner(s) in terms of what we like and what we're looking for.

[Hu****]

Perfect pillow talk after the first or second time you've hooked up... And 9/10 unless it's really niche, most of the women I've been with are either up for it, already into it, and usually once I've named a few the conversation opens up... I don't know why we like to pretend that attraction and sex shouldn't be important in a healthy relationship; and if your partner isn't into something you REALLY are, that's something you should probably know as early on as possible...

[ph****]

When I was groomed. She told me if I took control of my emotions I wouldn’t have to change a thing about myself except the way that I go about things.

Right away, always. And, as I’ve learned, they need to be onboard for my own good and sanity!

[Cu****]

I realised with first girl friend about 50 years ago, and seeing spanking magazines on the top shelf of some newsagents. We agreed to try things together, taking turns at being in charge. She soon said that she preferred things being done to her. It just seemed natural to us and remained private…no internet to find anyone else in late 1960s.

[He****]

In the beginning, there was only ordinary and basic interactions between people....
Then one day, some brave soul admitted the truth about what was really going on behind closed doors!
Thank God to those that came before us paving the way for us to find more acceptance in our twisted nature. Lol

[Lo****]

I don’t remember when I realized my desires where fetishs but I’ve never really let any of my past relationships know about them except maybe anal. And even that was frowned on. I’m more open now but it didn’t used to be that way because of being denied my pleasures or me thinking that someone might think I’m weird.

[Hers2use4fun]

Growing up I used to read stories on nifty, the lesbian section…always used to imagine myself as one of them, and the authoritarian section was an immediate fascination for me. I love it all tho

[fo****]

My kink developed at a very young age I could never fully share it with my wife that passed I regret that but she accepted who I was fully but it did cause problems I am new to being open about all aspects of my kink which gets pretty extensive finding like-minded people to talk to and generate ideas honestly it feels like I'm finding myself all over again for the first time Who I Really Am Maybe

[ge****]

I always knew I was somehow "different" even going back to beyond my initial exploratory years - and when they came I probably explored more than my peers, but didn't really understand it, or even have the wealth of points of reference there are today, so mostly suppressed it - and went down the "normal" relationship routes and into a vanilla marriage - was only in my early 30s, and the dawn of the Internet that I finally found myself and could make sense of all those feelings I'd had for years and was able to actually explore them little by little - further relationships came and went and exploration continued where they allowed.
.
It's probably only in the last 5-10 years though that I've truly come to terms with my sexuality and the full range it covers and even now there are still things I'm exploring for the first time.
.
As for how soon to open up to others - I really don't know, not having been in the "conventional" dating game for so long, using sites like this obviously makes it easier to open up to someone new, but the flip side of that is sites like this you're limited to the members that are here, and local to you, to connect with - so you're left with the dilemma of sticking to sites like this, or trying more conventional places to meet someone and then hoping to be able to have *that* conversation and find a like mind.

[Lo****]

Started with feet when I was young. Always had a fascination, I noticed when I would look down when a girl passed. Currently, I've been exploring new kinks and getting in touch with my sexual side. I have an appreciation for exciting experiences beyond vanilla sex. When it comes to sharing, some people are open to kinks so I disclose when appropriate. I'm all about keeping an open mind and trying new things.

[xe****]

My current primary let me have the space to try kink. The previous women would say they're into it, but would never let me do what they want which was a huge turn off. Current primary said I like xyz and we gave it a go and it was fun and hot. She communicates when she's in that mood and when she isn't.. sometimes verbally which many of the previous subs would not do. I feel too many subs demand the dom to read their mind and give them what they want before they know they want it. My zero cents

[se****]

Learned in my early 20's some of the stuff I experienced was more kink, then normal vanilla. Learned more. About sharing, if there's sexual compability in vanilla sex, then I slowly started talking about it. Most of my partners had kinks.

[23****]

A few years ago I hooked up with a woman that showed up with a strapon... I ended up going along with it and fell in love with it, unfortunately there aren't many people in my area with an open mind so it's gone unexplored since

[Ba****]

I learned a few years ago. I'm normally pretty open about them, but my main ones tend to scare people off.
When I first started to figure it out, I told my SO at the time and she freaked out. Though, I told my friends and they were intrigued by it.
Tell them like you'd tell them about a kink you have. If it's not for them, then it's not for them.

[Myia]

As someone who didn’t even know the true meaning of “kink” and hadn’t even heard of “fetish” till my early 20’s, I had no idea why I liked being tied up so much. And I didn’t tell anyone. Either they found out or if I really did need to let them know, I wrote it down

[za****]

Still trying to tell my wife. Discuss it slowly and carefully. She's accepting of me going to sessions like erotic living.net weekends to learn about things and even goto play parties but not to engage in any sexual activity so I don't. There's a lot more I'd like to try, learn and enjoy but only where it's been permitted withing the bounds of my primary relationship. I don't have any connections or kink firends yet so discussing boundary expansion is moot. But I think I should do that before hand anyway.

For me, it's been talking superficillay about things I've seen to understand some idea of what might be acceptable for me. Time to go next step and confirm permissions

[In****]

I think I've always known. My ex hubby and I always liked things that were less vanilla. I met a Sir after my marriage breakdown and realised how then how much I love kink.

[Deleted Member]

Started with my wife (she's the more wild one out of us I think) a brat through and through, ive since taken on the roll of Dom and love it