Please help, was i a terrible person and wrong to block them?

[Li****]

Please help, am I wrong? (If I am I will definitely be saying sorry)

im a sub, and in the first hour on this site a couple got in contact with me, not something im really into but trying to keep an open mind. I was talking to the guy who was the dom, in the first few messages he told me i had to call him daddy, and that I wasn't aloud to talk to anyone. Not something I agreed to but he said he would call me that night. (Fair enough, things come up and people get busy).

I didnt hear from him in a few days, on vanilla sites this usually means they are done with you (as I had tried to message and asked if they were ok a couple of times with no responce) i made it very clear anitially that I am shy and nervous and I feel like its quite clear on my proffile too.

I made a friend with this nice guy, hadn't gotten sexual or anything, he was just very kind so added him as a friend (kinda do hope it goes somewhere eventually) but haven't spoken to him for a day o'r two ether.

So the dom guy from the couple just messaged after not hearing from him, and told me to delete the friend and that im un trust worthy. I will admit im very confused and I will be incredibly sorry if this is my fault. But I felt like he asked for an awful lot of commitment in the space of maybe the first 10 messages. (This included me having to call him daddy right away, acusing me of insulting him and his primery sub because I said I wasn't sure if I was interested in couples and didn't want to waste their time, and being absolutely forbbiden to talk to anyone else.)

Am I terrible? What could I have done better? I know im very nervous and need to work on my communication, but i want to learn how to be better. Thanks :)

[si****]

I didn’t even get three sentences in and saw the biggest red flag ever 🚩
The title daddy is EARNED never freely given.
You are your own person and any “daddy dom” that says something like that is not a real dom. I would keep them blocked, that’s a huge sign of toxic narcissistic masculinity

[Fu****]

No, you don't seem in the wrong, this seems controlling and toxic

[Si****]

You are not in the wrong. In this community anything that happens must be earned through communication and trust. If anyone tries to act like that they don't deserve to be here.

[ey****]

the Daddy Dom in this has set off a number of flags

anything which tries to limit someone from speaking to others is pretty much forbidding them to seek out information - which is a way people use to control their own narrative

Among anything else the person you added as a friend could, as far as he knows, be an actual friend you already know 

He is trying to blame you to try to make you feel guilty and to go back and suck up

[Ro****]

Yeah, you're fine. There are far too many doms that seem to think thah because you messaged each other a couple times that they own you. Being submissive is fun, but you cant allow yourself to be walked all over, either.

[Deleted Member]

He definitely went to far you need a bit more time before you really get into everything he was asking a lot for the very short time you where talking
I can understand if both parties wanted to just dive into something but if one person needs more time then the other should respect that
I think you should probably move on from that couple and talk to the other guy 
Hope this helps you out 😁

[ki****]

You did nothing wrong!! I think you were right to block them (probably a sad guy on his own anyway) and in no way should he have placed demands on you like that from the beginning. The relationship has to build and by ignoring you for days just shows he isn’t genuine. Good for you for blocking him. X

[ro****]

Anyone who try’s to dom you right out the gate is a red flag. I would highly advise to read up on hot to spot fake and real doms. You did nothing wrong!!! Just do more research and be very careful please. Feel free to message me if you need anymore info!

[si****]

After reading the rest, you did the right thing. If someone can’t respect you enough to not be so possessive and toxic right out the gate than they don’t deserve you, you are not terrible. Respect comes first in a d’s relationship, especially if you are joining a couple. Odds are he is either cheating, or is not mentally stable enough. You definitely dodged a bullet. You should make a post and mention his username to help other women avoid that as it sounds like a dangerous situation

[Deleted Member]

I agree fully with sirlinkt. Titles are earned NOT demanded within the first few messages. It does reek highly of someone with misogynistic narcissistic tendencies. Even more so by them telling you that you weren’t allowed to speak to anyone else

[NotHisPrincess]

It's your choice totally. I would not accept that kind of thing either. We have a name for D types who throw their weight around without understanding the dynamics "Dim-Doms" xx

[Deleted Member]

F*****g hell I’m sorry.
First guy, the “daddy” sounds like a full on psycho.
Block him, and never look back. You don’t owe him a thing.

[Deleted Member]

Definitely are not in the wrong. That's what we like to call a fake Dom. I've had. Many of those, even tried telling me my Dom isn't good.

[littlemiss37]

There is so many fakes big hugs and if u ever need to talk I'm just a pm away x

[StrictMaster44]

You're definitely not in the wrong. He's the one that quit talking.

[mr****]

You are definitely not in the wrong a dom has to earn your trust first and be patient you both need come to some sort of negotiations and find out what you both want and need so to many red flags with this guy you are definitely right to block he sounds like a predictor trying to take advantage of someone new

[Deleted Member]

You’re a human first and whatever else second. Dude sounds like a dickhead, and was acting without respect.

[Jaxon666]

Not to be crass; but f**k that guy! I would never approach a sub like that initially. Granted, as a Dom, I'm 10 ply soft, but that's just disrespectful to you. Know your worth. If you choose to address someone with an honorific, especially something so personal, then do you, boo. This, as was already stated, was a clear attempt at cutting you off from help. In my opinion, what he did was Straight up bitch made.

[ro****]

your best rule of thumb is if it don't feel right it isn't right! you need to be able to follow your gut instinct .... when people place ultimatum's on you is another 🚩... just know it's the Internet people lie about everything! just because this is a kink dating site people aren't miraculously more honest!
 i employ 90/10 rule .... 90% is fake 10% authentic

[jo****]

I mean I didn't read all trough it and I saw enough red flags to block. You aren't wrong at all.

[Darkpuppy]

No not really. They go quiet and ignore you and than start demanding stuff off the bat. You don't have a relationship, you didn't commit to anything yet and from the sounds you haven't auctully met up yet. Them commanding anything like that requires a discussion and consent. Tell them to bugger off and if they was worth your time they would treat you right. This is alarming behavior from anyone. It would make sense if you had a meeting, session, even a date to want to start with the Daddy stuff if you agreed to it but it seems they demanding it without any consent or commitment. That's a horrible sign!

[DarkArts1066]

LittleMaeLou …..

An individuals’ submission is earned by any Dominant. Fact.

The fact that you had only just started talking with the Male of this Couple, and he was demanding that you use honorifics (Daddy) - and telling you not to talk to others is a massive indication that the guy in question is a complete idiot.

I’m sorry for using that language, but I honestly cannot believe some people.
These are the same disrespectful idiots who then gone that they don’t attract any interest.

He has absolutely NO idea about Domination and submission whatsoever, if he thinks his behaviour was acceptable.

If I were to give you one piece of advice at the start of your journey, it would be this..

As a submissive, you are entitled to as much respect as any Dominant. YOU, ultimately are the one in control. If you don’t choose to give your submission freely to a Dominant, then they have no power.

Ask questions on here. Most people are friendly and decent. Read posts, and profiles, and make good choices about who you choose to give your time to, and you will not your time here, and learn much.

Be safe, and have fun.

DarkArts.

[AZ****]

Being called Daddy by a submissive is a privilege that is earned through trust and communication. Period.

[Matttster]

LittleNaeLou, you must be responsible to choose who you submit to and to make sure that whoever it is deserves your submittance. Be sure you respect and trust them. If anyone just expects you to submit, ignore them or call them on it. Because you view yourself as submissive foes not mean you have to listen to anyone even if they claim to be dominant.

A submissive should decide who they want to submit to and have control of the extent of what that submittal entails. Submittance is given from one person (bottom) to another (Top). If someone claims to be a Dominant and expects someone to simply submit to them, they are not educated about BDSM or they are abusive.

There are way to many uneducated and worse, abusive people around. It sounds as though you are new to the scene. Be sure to educate yourself about your interests to protect yourself from undesired harm (physically and emotionally).