Share your dom/sub routine

[K_****]

Hello, my first post here so please be gentle. I joined recently and I'm fascinated about the Dom/sub relationship, what is it that makes you into one or another? I took the test here and I tried to be as honest as I could and I consider myself to be more dominant but the results are more vanilla like ... Am I not kinked enough?
What's it that a sub or Dom wants in a relationship?

Any input is much appreciated.

[Wi****]

Honestly from my point of view it's a feeling of being completely controlled and.. well dominated physically and emotionally but there's always needs to be after care because if there's no after care its gonna fall apart and the emotional stability of the sub will crumble.

[Wi****]

As for a dom I can't really do the explanation justice but from what I understand it's all about being in control, strong, powerful, everything a dom should be but sometimes does get power crazy or they maintain a good relationship with their sub or they just flat out don't care. What a dom does is degrade the sub for the whole session to my understanding and either edges the sub or full on fucks the sub for their on pleasure then once again the after care the dom needs to rebuild the subs self esteem and motivation and genuinely cheer them up. Make them feel better about themselves, about their relationship, ect. . If I missed anything or miss interpreted anything I'll happily stand back.

[Pa****]

Every Dom and sub are different. Some are more pleasure Doms and others are more sadistic. But a Dom exists to provide security and safety within a kink environment to their sub(s). The routine always depends on the what both the Dom and the Sub want from one another. Does the sun just want a release from normal life therefore wants *** and *** as the feeling of said release. Or maybe the sun wants help from the Dom to think differently or they need help in being more positive about themselves. Every relationship is different and I have only really given some very basic versions of this relationship. It can be as deep or as shallow as those within the contract of consent wish it to be.

[ge****]

Whilst the test here, and elsewhere can be a good indicator, they're also very general so results may vary.
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As for being "kinked enough" there's no such thing, different people have different views of what is kinky or even what D/s is - so it's about being honest with both yourself and others about what it is you are looking for and seeking out those that are compatible.
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Which way you lean can only come from you too, and actually you don't have to be either - for some it's not about D/s but about individual kinks and something "extra" in the bedroom, and that's all fine too.
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My advice to you would be to do some introspection and figure out where you think you fit in and what you are looking for and go from there - also read as much on the topics that interest you and learn more that way.

[bi****]

The guy I see we don’t have the tag as Dom/Sub.. If it was to come down to it he is Dom and very loving he never puts me down only picks me up.. When it comes to play it’s about both of us.. He has given himself to me to have my fun with him and he knows I’m his.. We don’t even have a safe word he just knows if I’m not ok when doing things..

[K_****]

Thanks, that is more or less my take on it also.

[20****]

First things first, vanilla is totally fine. The important this is that you’re enjoying yourself no matter what that looks like. There are a lot of niche kinks that aren’t covered on the test here, anyway.

In my albeit limited experience, I’ve found that the dynamic is closely tied to control and what responsibilities in the dynamic either appeal to you or come naturally to you. For example, I’m generally submissive because having the control stresses me out sometimes, but I had a partner who’s primarily dominant because they needed to have the control to not be stressed. That said, I have a fair bit of caregiver tendencies despite not being into ageplay or Dd/lg or any gendered variant thereof.

Tldr; the “boxes” they suggest on the test are very limited and what a dom or sub wants is just as unique as the person themselves and can/will vary from person to person

[Norell]

I'm not a huge fan of labels, so my advice is to not try to fit into the boxes. Be yourself and explore your sexual preferences, and if at some point, you feel that a label fits you and you want to use it, do so. Personally, I've spend way to much energy on wondering whether or not, I was enough of something to be allowed to use the labels. You can use the definitions of the many labels as inspiration for what you might want to try out. Also, you should not worry about being enough or too vanilla. Find your way and do your own thing.

As for tests, nothing beats the BDSMtest (I don't know if I'm allowed to link to the test) - but again, the test doesn't define you.

To answer your question about being a Dom or sub: To me, it's about control. I'm on the dominant side of the spectrum, and I enjoy being in control. However, my style of dominating partners is more of a primal one; I use strength, willpower and presence to "***" them into submission. I guess there can be other driving ***s in one's D/s personality, but for me and the partners I've had, it's always about being in control and surrendering control (or - being primals - taking control and having it taken away).

[ma****]

Me and my Buddy we are trying out the dynamic because he is the dom we are in total power exchange so I’ve been staying with him when I wake up and he is usually working and then he chooses my outfit what we are doing that day and if I have to work drive me and pick me up from work and then trying new dynamics and fantasies

[Al****]

It is whatever your comfortable with. I have not been on here very long, but I've found people to be very accepting of whatever your situation is.

[Q5****]

I prefer the online bdsm quiz to this one it’s more detailed and gave me all the info I needed about each kink I had. Just google bdsm quiz and I think it’s the first option

[Al****]

It is whatever your comfortable with. I have not been on here very long, but I've found people to be very accepting of whatever your situation is.

The more that you get into it the more things you find out your into or find that what you were already into is considered such and such kink...at least in my experience

[pi****]

When I find my Daddy Dom I want him to also be my man and be monogamous to me. I want him to be patient and understanding and loving and loves to cuddle specially on days that I don't feel good

[Th****]

I came out on the quiz more Dominant but the results was so close that it confused me a bit. I can safely say imma switch depending on the player. In my household it’s more of a SWITCH -SWITCH thing. With me more dominant. All and all it’s really what you prefer. There’s somebody for everybody.

[K_****]

Thanks for all the comments 😊. I'll definitely check that BDSM quiz.
@pinkrose714 Hope you find your Daddy soon.

[co****]

Routine as in protocols?

[lo****]

I thinking more def dominate.Can a guy b in like a doninatrix role,or seek thT

[Deleted Member]

I am more on the sub side and I think it is really about releasing the pressure coming from daily demands of work and life. Releasing for once control.

[to****]

For me as a daddy dom, I love the sight and sound of the pleasure I give them while in full control, now I'm also a brat tammer and what I love about a brat is they put up a fight and I love asserting my control over them punishing and rewarding them then bending them to me, I believe it makes them respect my control more, and when I first meet a potential sub I like to learn what makes them tick so I can give them the pleasure they need and it makes it better for me cause I love thier pleasure, that way we both get what we need from the relationship while still maintaining dom over sub