Porn+Masturbation was killing my sex drive

[K_****]

So let's get right into it... For a number of years I used porn and masturbation to substitute the real thing... I noticed that my sex drive was dropping dramatically... I stopped watching porn about 45 days now and I masturbated just once since (without visual stimulation)....
I can confirm that my ⚽⚽ hurt most of the time but most importantly is that my libido is coming back with ***!
Backstory
I'm reading a book about CPTSD and there was a link in this book to a utub vid and the guy talks about how watching porn is killing the guys libido. I'm not posting this here because I'm not sure it's against the rules.

So what are your thoughts? I suppose for women it's less harmful?

[Sg****]

I watch my own porn i make with my wife and gfs and I dont have any drop in libido. I wonder what the neurological science is behind it.

[Gi****]

It's harmful.i don't watch it. The ppl aren't happy doing it.

[Gi****]

@Sgt Dave Dopamine

[Ta****]

I think it’s an absolutely valid theory. I remember when I was in high school, if you were lucky enough to find yourself in possession of a dirty VHS tape, it was most likely poorly lit, terribly acted/edited/produced, cheesy smooth jazz and an abundance of pubic hair, and maybe a handful of sexual positions…now porn is hollywood-quality with actresses that are more plastic surgery than their original bodies, and the acts themselves get more and more extreme with time. It used to be anal sex was taboo, now there’s double vaginal double anal, anal fisting, double anal fisting, elbow-deep anal fisting, monster toys, and so on. My point is, your average dtf woman is probably not down for one tenth the stuff we see in porn, and so it’s become less about visual stimulation and more about vicariously fulfilling those “I’ll probably never get to do that irl” fantasies, and the end result is men have become desensitized to vanilla sex and it’s conditioned us to have ridiculously unrealistic standards of beauty, not to mention porn is free and literally at our fingertips 24/7. Like you, I found that my own libido had been diminished by masturbating to porn on a regular basis, and since I’ve stopped, I’m in the mood more often, I last longer, and my orgasms are much more satisfying than they had been.

[no****]

This is very anecdotal, because I masterbate once a day to porn, doesn't affect my libido... I think there is this weird menosphere/incel movement which hates porn, and acting like women owe them sex, not saying that's you, but this turning against porn is part of it

[Ba****]

I don't masturbate a lot. About once a month if that. (Mainly because it just doesn't feel good to me because I prefer the real thing) But I tend to read erotica a lot. I'm sure if I masturbated a lot more, like I had when I first discovered it, my sex drive would be dead, but someone even looks at me suggestingly, I'll probably get turned on.
When I used to masturbate more, my sex drive wasn't really dating anyone, so it was the only thing I had. Mental health has been somewhat linked to sex drive, too. There are a few, if not a lot more now, that goes into depth about it.

[K_****]

It was hard at first but I don't think about it now... All I can think about is a real woman and how I'm going to find her. After I stopped I got myself out in the open, I'm actively looking for a partner to have sex.
That's how I found FET and started to get educated about kinks.

The vid is TEDx Talks, the great experiment. I highly recommend watching.

[K_****]

@notanumber I'm glad it hasn't affected you. Porn is great to watch, lots of good videos there but apparently it changes something in our brains and that's really not good. I found myself scrolling down endlessly, watching a few seconds here and there, fast forwarding etc... I'd go days without watching and then do it 5 times in a couple of days.

[Me****]

I knew it…. All right I’m quitting right now. It’s really addictive to me.

[ey****]

it's not porn specifically which hurts the libido but masturbating too often.  "too often" does vary from person to person, because of course you are less horny if you're getting release so maybe less motivated with, or to find, a partner

like anything. use in moderation and moderation again is an individual thing 

[Deleted Member]

I think watching porn with a partner for ideas and inspiration could be wonderfully intimate, saying whether what each other likes or dislikes and perhaps willing to try something new. I’ve never watched it to reach orgasm, I have read erotica which to me leaves more to the imagination and have climaxed through that. I have a high drive and pleasuring myself once a day isn’t uncommon but does not detract from my libido. Well, I don’t think anyway

[no****]

Yeah but how long have you been watching porn for? Probably a rhetorical question, because it's probably decades?

[jc****]

10 hours ago, notanumber said:

This is very anecdotal, because I masterbate once a day to porn, doesn't affect my libido... I think there is this weird menosphere/incel movement which hates porn, and acting like women owe them sex, not saying that's you, but this turning against porn is part of it

Absolutely. The nofap movement is, on the whole, very reactionary and heavily in the manosphere.

[mo****]

There is an underlying cause most likely and watching porn was a conduit of that issue. Every psychologist or psychiatrist I know all agree that the things we do are direct examples of internal processes.
Maybe taking the break from porn allowed you to process things differently ***ly and that process allowed your libido to return.
All to often we lay blame at an item or action rather then deeply looking at the ‘why’ of why is that item being used or the what is that issue actually about.

And non of this is directed at you but food for thought to widen the lanes of the thought experiment.

[K_****]

2 hours ago, notanumber said:

Yeah but how long have you been watching porn for? Probably a rhetorical question, because it's probably decades?

For about 20 years I think. But according to the guy in that video older guys like myself recover quickly because when we were young the internet wasn't fast enough to stream videos.

[K_****]

That's the video in question. All I can say is that it was a wake-up call for me.
https://youtu.be/wSF82AwSDiU

[no****]

Haha what? Sounds like absolute nonsense, also you've not taken into account that the libido weakens over time

[K_****]

That's true. Well I'm not a doctor or anything, just sharing my experience, perhaps it helps someone down the road.

Thanks for all the comments everyone.

[VictoriaEdward]

Sperm retention has amazing benefits

[Ta****]

5 hours ago, notanumber said:

Haha what? Sounds like absolute nonsense, also you've not taken into account that the libido weakens over time

If it’s “nonsense”, then explain why his (and my) libido came back significantly. Support your argument.