Discover the History of Masturbation

What does masturbation in the 18th-century have to do with Cornflakes? As we move into Masturbation Month this May, kinky writer Leo Larkin answers this puzzler and shares some facts about the history of masturbation. And believe us; we have it so much better now!

Self-love, wanking, fingering, jacking off, jerking off: however you want to call it, masturbation is something I think we agree that we can all agree to doing and enjoying – even when we're partnered.

But it wasn't all this way as I will show you believe in this brief history of masturbation. And while, on the whole, things have improved, self-love is still frowned upon by some sections of society. For example, some religions today such as Roman Catholic, Eastern Orthodox and Oriental Orthodox still consider masturbation to be a sin. Indeed, it's been suggested that the more religious a person is, the more the likelihood of them restricting their sexual desires.

Medieval history of masturbation

In the medieval history of masturbation, moral authorities – such as the church – took a pretty dim view of self-love. Indeed, as well as masturbation, non-standard sexual positions, oral sex and plenty more fun things were considered no-no's in the penitentials.

Medieval texts advised priests on what penances were appropriate to give sinners who confessed these acts. For instance, the 'Canons of Theodore', a collection of penitential material dating to around 700 AD, states that a man who "pollutes himself" is to do penance for 40 days. While a woman who "has sex with herself" has to do penance for three years (!). That's a pretty striking double standard.

The Canons also says that if you come in someone's mouth, you have to repent until the end of your life, so it's not exactly what you'd call a sex-positive document (surely snowballing would have been punishable by death, LOL).

Feeling fruity? Discover the history of masturbation...

The medieval view (at least the official one) was that masturbation was a moral evil. The only purpose of sex was reproduction and to signify God's love for the church; having sex for pleasure was missing the point. But as medieval faded into modern, and some traditional beliefs were abandoned, the official position on 'self-***' didn't change as much as you might think.

The history of masturbation gets medical

Early modern writers tended to abandon the medieval view that masturbating was a sin. At least, they didn't make it the central plank of their argument. Instead of arguing that masturbation was just wrong, this new generation of hands-off advocates tried to persuade their readers that masturbation could damage your health.

And how they persuaded! Probably the first great anti-masturbation text is – draws breath – Onania or the Heinous Sin of self-Pollution, And All Its Frightful Consequences, In Both Sexes, Considered: With Spiritual and Physical Advice To Those Who Have Already Injured Themselves By This Abominable Practice.

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This 18th-century book outlines in lurid detail all of the terrible stuff that can happen to you if you play with yourself too much. The book goes on to explain that solo sex can lead to disorders of the penis and testicles, as well as gonorrhoea. In women, masturbation is terrible for the complexion, causes fluor albus (vaginal discharge) and, yep, can kill you.

But the book Onania isn't happy to focus merely on the medical effects: masturbation is also ruinous for the soul. Furthermore, God is watching you when you wank. So, here we have what we might think of as a hybrid. It's one part religious screed against the sin of masturbating, and one part medical text.

Masturbation: who gives a f*ck if 'God is watching'...

Cornflakes & electroshock therapy

The medical approach continued to dominate in the history of masturbation through the 19th and into the 20th centuries. One common argument against male masturbation comes up throughout the centuries, as in the 18th-century French text Onanism, or, A treatise on the disorders produced by masturbation. According to this theory, masturbation weakened men by draining the body of healthy, life-giving semen.

And 1847's The Silent Friend argued that masturbation could cause – another deep breath – exhaustion of the system, nervous excitement, irritation, impotence, shrinking of the penis, indigestion, trouble breathing and hypochondriac melancholy. And if you're not in a state of hypochondriac melancholy after reading that list, I salute you on your endurance.

“In the medieval history of masturbation, the church took a dim view of self-love. Indeed, as well as masturbation, non-standard sexual positions, oral sex and plenty more fun things were considered no-no's.”

That being the case, people sought to curb masturbation through a variety of means from the ingenious to the horrible. In the 19th-century, health guru John Harvey Kellogg – of Cornflakes fame – wrote in his highly entertaining but slightly terrifying Plain Facts for Young and Old that masturbation could cause everything from constipation and heart disease to bad posture. As a treatment, he recommended, among other things, electric shocks to the genitals, abdominal bandages, cold baths, Cornflakes (no surprise there, then!), enemas and giving up smoking.

All this sounds pretty humorous, although maybe not so fantastic for the young man whose health-conscious parents *** him to give up spices, meat, milk, eggs, fish, coffee, alcohol and tobacco while sitting in a cold bath and eating corn mush.

But there are worse ways to cure the solo sex habit. Take, for instance, the case of Dr Isaac Baker Brown, who attempted to treat masturbation (which he regarded as the cause of a whole host of illnesses) by means of a clitoridectomy. His 1866 monograph on the subject is ugly reading. Dr Baker Brown was expelled from the Obstetrical Society for his generally relaxed attitude toward informed consent. Still, while his case is extreme, it isn't utterly bizarre within the context of Victorian medicine.

Hurrah for 21st-century wanking!

Thankfully, the general consensus that masturbation causes every disease known to medical science (and probably crime as well) is long gone. Moving forward, the history of masturbation can be rewritten. In fact, today's doctors and medical professionals even think that there are a lot of health benefits to solo sex, but there's still a considerable way to go in breaking down taboos.

But, who knows? Maybe we'll be able to talk more frankly about pleasuring ourselves soon, which is what the Masturbation Month initiative aims to achieve – assuming we don't all die from it first. •

Leo Larkin writes about history and the humorous side of sex. Even though Leo is a pen name, he is a real person.