Confidence ISN'T always sexy..........

[Je****]

I tried to be polite and I was shocked at the responses he gave but oh well...

[Ta****]

18 minutes ago, RolloClopse said:

Lot of toxic masculinity there, I hope people like that eventually go on to realise how silly they look.

He wasn’t even necessarily being masculine, let alone toxically so. He was being manipulative, insisting she blame the app, like it’s her problem to deal with, insinuating that the app showing she matched with him means a partnered woman is ALWAYS interested in one on one meets, making baseless accusations against her partner to ingratiate himself, and telling HER to calm the fuck down when she took offense to his approach…none of that behavior is inherently masculine, but it’s definitely indicative of an abusive person.

[x_****]

Mate stop complaining

[Du****]

3 minutes ago, x_luke said:

Mate stop complaining

You have a lot to learn, kid. Do pay attention, it will help you in the long run.

[Ta****]

11 minutes ago, x_luke said:

Mate stop complaining

🚩has entered the chat.
.
For anyone that wants to see what toxic masculinity looks like, look no further.

[Du****]

4 minutes ago, TallBastard said:

🚩has entered the chat.
.
For anyone that wants to see what toxic masculinity looks like, look no further.

He’s only a kid. Hopefully he’ll learn the lessons he needs to from the good contributions of others in the forums. So fortunate for the inexperienced in the bdsm world to have a resource like this to refer to, before they dive into anyone’s private messages and make fools of themselves

[Fa****]

I don’t know I don’t think it needed to be as serious as this became. It seems he was premature in thinking that you were wanting to meet one on one based on the experiences he had with similar circumstances. Maybe he read your profile maybe he didn’t. While we like to think we are all being honest in our or profiles that’s not always the case. One thing is clear he is on this site just for the sex and doesn’t respect anything else about it. You are going to encounter these people agsin it’s the nature of the beast. Recognize them early and move on from them quickly with as little enter action as possible. You let this guy rent too much space in your head. If he is seeing any of this it’s just reen***ing his belief you really want him. The only people you owe any explanation is you and your partner and a good partner won’t even need you to explain.

[He****]

Chloebear, Some very entitled people on here… I’m sure it spans all genders.
Here’s one I had the other day:
Him: Slave, [blah blah blah - wasn’t interested, didn’t pay attention]
Me: I’m not your slave.
Him: Not yet.
Me: Not ever. BLOCK🙄 I think it’s worse when they read the profile then come at you anyway.


Yeah had exactly that, told him the same thing

[He****]

Jen he should of stopped at No. That is a complete sentence.

[Attaboy4u]

What ever happened to "good morning/evening, how are you doing today, I ran across your profile and was hoping you would like to talk and see if there's a good connection and conversation."?

[Je****]

10 hours ago, Fall_inn_Angel said:

I don’t know I don’t think it needed to be as serious as this became. It seems he was premature in thinking that you were wanting to meet one on one based on the experiences he had with similar circumstances. Maybe he read your profile maybe he didn’t. While we like to think we are all being honest in our or profiles that’s not always the case. One thing is clear he is on this site just for the sex and doesn’t respect anything else about it. You are going to encounter these people agsin it’s the nature of the beast. Recognize them early and move on from them quickly with as little enter action as possible. You let this guy rent too much space in your head. If he is seeing any of this it’s just reen***ing his belief you really want him. The only people you owe any explanation is you and your partner and a good partner won’t even need you to explain.

I've been on here for 3 years. I've never came across this. Not in all that time and I've had thousands of messages in my time span here. Not one was like this guy. 

 

I have gave him a lot of time in my head. Because it bothered me.

So much so that I have written a post about it, to warn others how to never treat a couple, and to never accept behaviour like this from someone inboxing you.

 

 

[Attaboy4u]

Just wanted to add, that boundaries being set, agreed upon and adjusted as people learn more about what the boundary is for, is pertaininent to virtually all types of relationships.  When we come across people who have no respect for them, wether out of being clueless, narcissistic or both, it's on ourselves to not engage with them. And you did it. Yes we all get triggered at some point, it's how you manage your own emotional responses to situations like.

[Je****]

2 hours ago, Attaboy4u said:

Just wanted to add, that boundaries being set, agreed upon and adjusted as people learn more about what the boundary is for, is pertaininent to virtually all types of relationships.  When we come across people who have no respect for them, wether out of being clueless, narcissistic or both, it's on ourselves to not engage with them. And you did it. Yes we all get triggered at some point, it's how you manage your own emotional responses to situations like.

I said further up I was being polite to respond and tell him it wasn't for me, his responses I am not responsible for, nor will I take responsibility for him simply because I replied. 

I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt.  He showed me how he behaves and I did then get frustrated and blocked him. 

Part of me is praying that he's simply a troll as I find it scary that someone is seriously approaching people like this, with that mentality and entitlement. 

 

Hopefully it can raise awareness to others and if he does approach them and they've read this,  they can possibly avoid the conversation I had the misfortune of having with him. 

[Deleted Member]

So glad you called this out.  I have had similar messages over the last year and it beggars belief the sheer arrogance of some people.  

The minute you describe yourself as submissive in any way, they think they have some god given right to talk to you like shit and slag off your other half.   How little they know...... Thank god for the block button!!!! 

Edited July 9, 2023 by Deleted Member

[Pr****]

Confidence is always correct. What you were facing was arrogance…

[RecoveryDaddy]

wow that guy's a cunt

[Ae****]

Baffled as to why this convo went on so long and became a thing so big that a post came out of it.
You don't like the convo, end it. If it continues, hide it, block it, whatever. Why use any more of your time in bickering with someone you don't like once you already know you don't like them.

[Ae****]

And, I know it's gonna sound weird from your very set perspective, but, if your interested - from his view... you called him rude in your very first message to him. I'm not gonna go into it, cuz I don't think there's much point but, if you could have some self awareness, the whole convo could have been totally different. A lot of times some people are quite literal and serious in how they interact - and they are quite prone to finding people rude when it doesn't always have to be that way. Does this excuse anyone's behaviour? Obviously we know the answer to that. Was there a reason for that behaviour? Did we perhaps play a part in this ourselves? Where indeed did the rudeness begin?

[Je****]

9 minutes ago, Aeonova said:

Baffled as to why this convo went on so long and became a thing so big that a post came out of it.
You don't like the convo, end it. If it continues, hide it, block it, whatever. Why use any more of your time in bickering with someone you don't like once you already know you don't like them.

I believe shitty behaviour and attitudes need to be highlighted. Making others aware and maybe people with this mentality can read replies and rethink some of their life choices and maybe mend them. 

Each to their own. He's been blocked. Convo lasted all of 3 minutes if even. 

[Du****]

13 minutes ago, Aeonova said:

Baffled as to why this convo went on so long and became a thing so big that a post came out of it.
You don't like the convo, end it. If it continues, hide it, block it, whatever. Why use any more of your time in bickering with someone you don't like once you already know you don't like them.

Because it’s a valuable public service to other men who might think this conduct is okay. It isn’t, and they need to know that. Regrettably, however, they’re more likely to pay attention if the message about unacceptable behaviour is delivered to them by another man, so threads like this are a great opportunity for men to add their voices in condemning it.
And of course we know we can block them. The point is we shouldn’t have to put up with it in the first place.

[Je****]

1 minute ago, Aeonova said:

And, I know it's gonna sound weird from your very set perspective, but, if your interested - from his view... you called him rude in your very first message to him. I'm not gonna go into it, cuz I don't think there's much point but, if you could have some self awareness, the whole convo could have been totally different. A lot of times some people are quite literal and serious in how they interact - and they are quite prone to finding people rude when it doesn't always have to be that way. Does this excuse anyone's behaviour? Obviously we know the answer to that. Was there a reason for that behaviour? Did we perhaps play a part in this ourselves? Where indeed did the rudeness begin?

You don't approach someone who says they play as a couple only, tell them you don't have any interest in the other half and only the other. He could have thought "oh, they don't play seperate, it won't be for me" but instead decided to tell me... what for? The hope I will just fall head over heels for him and go against the boundaries I made very clear? Nah. He was rude from the outset, and to be honest, it's reaffirmed my distaste for playing with any other men again/in future. 

Never have this shite with women. 

[Je****]

1 minute ago, DuchessFeuille said:

Because it’s a valuable public service to other men who might think this conduct is okay. It isn’t, and they need to know that. Regrettably, however, they’re more likely to pay attention if the message about unacceptable behaviour is delivered to them by another man, so threads like this are a great opportunity for men to add their voices in condemning it.
And of course we know we can block them. The point is we shouldn’t have to put up with it in the first place.

<3 this.

[Ae****]

5 minutes ago, Jeneral_Whore said:

I believe shitty behaviour and attitudes need to be highlighted. Making others aware and maybe people with this mentality can read replies and rethink some of their life choices and maybe mend them. 

Each to their own. He's been blocked. Convo lasted all of 3 minutes if even. 

Ah OK. I thought it sounded like it made you quite mad, which is not a fun experience, and my suggestion was just aimed at avoiding that stress - but if you have capacity and feel its worth you spending your time on highlighting etc, fair enough.

[Je****]

1 minute ago, Aeonova said:

Ah OK. I thought it sounded like it made you quite mad, which is not a fun experience, and my suggestion was just aimed at avoiding that stress - but if you have capacity and feel its worth you spending your time on highlighting etc, fair enough.

I was mad. But only when he told me to calm the fuck down, insulted my partner then still demanded i meet him alone. I honestly wouldn't have felt safe even if I was inclined to meet with him. Even is something makes me mad, I have a voice, and I like to use it. It's my right, and I will never name someone on any forum post but people who read it and find offense in what I have stated, possibly reflect this due to their own personalities. But hopefully it has a positive outcome.

[Ae****]

12 minutes ago, Jeneral_Whore said:

You don't approach someone who says they play as a couple only, tell them you don't have any interest in the other half and only the other. He could have thought "oh, they don't play seperate, it won't be for me" but instead decided to tell me... what for? The hope I will just fall head over heels for him and go against the boundaries I made very clear? Nah. He was rude from the outset, and to be honest, it's reaffirmed my distaste for playing with any other men again/in future. 

Never have this shite with women. 

You could take it super serious. Or could laugh it off. And then you might find he wasn't super rude to you after that, instead of behaving the way he did. As I said, I don't think there's much point discussing this because it's a perspective that's very set, but - I will say - a guy looking for a laid back girl who isn't quick to offence - well this kinda thing is a decent filter for that. You both won - you made sure you stopped talking with a guy who's really rude, from your view - and he stopped talking to a girl who can't laugh at and joke with a guy who's very direct and who is subtly critical when a guy tries to talk to her, which obviously always takes guts.