Broken trust, ignored safe word.

[Li****]

*Also, anything brand new and out of sorts can be so terrifying!
It's only natural to feel a bit put off from starting a fresh when you thrive on routine and pattern, or just plain stability from someone!
Feel free to message anytime ✨️ x

[PagenRed]

You did the right thing. Safeword is safeword. It's there to keep you safe and protect you from harm. There is no gray area on a safeword. To ignore a safeword is the ultimate disregard of trust.

[ka****]

Right choise

[Do****]

Well Done, you ran but you did not hide. Heal and take strength from all the comments confirming you absolutely made the right decision.

[Deleted Member]

100% the right choice. He was not the person meant to be your Dom and caregiver. He was just the stepping stone to where you going on your journey 🫶♥️

[The_Rev_]

You absolutely did, no question 👏

[Newyn]

No DOM, no matter what, has the right to push a person beyond her limits. Inconcepibile. I personally find it already impossible he ignored it the first time. No matter where you are, your partner IS the focus of your attention. This person is all except a Dom and your decision is the only one you should have taken. Recover from the phisical injuries ( if any ). We are here for you, should you feel the need to talk about it, or for anything else.

[Ki****]

What your Dom thought is irrelevant, is your safe word when you call it that's it stop.

[tarrick]

Your dom definitely crossed a line. You did the right thing. They did not.

[Bl****]

There’s no question you did the right thing! In that moment, it’s doesn’t matter what he thought. You invoked your safe word. PERIOD. There’s no fucking debate! Excuse my language, but that pisses me off. He can’t be trusted. Do NOT go back on your decision. It WILL happen again, and next time with potentially much more serious consequences.

[Ne****]

I’m sorry you experienced a breach of trust. I’m glad you’re here to speak about it. 🩶🩶🩶

[Ri****]

You absolutely did the right to one. Respecting safewords and boundaries are fundamental cornerstones of D-s and BDSM. Without them how can there be trust. How can a sub allow themself to be ***, to give up control.

When I’m with a sub, their safety and well-being are always my number one priority. Their pleasure and fun my number two. And my own pleasure and fun number three.

We’ll done. Be strong.

[EmpressKK]

It's called a 'safe word' for a reason. First he ignores it in public, then again in private. He's a liability, and someone not to be trusted! You did the right thing. Heal, and move on to someone more deserving of you young lady.

[subrugbylad]

Absolutely you did the right thing, You can question a fair bit about things, and if You ignored red flags earlier one.no need to question if you did the right thing. Once trust is breached it's impossible to come back from! Take time to heal and move on to someone more deserving of Yourself x

[Shameless1001]

You absolutely did the right thing. Submission is 100% about trust and a Dom MUST respect the gravity of what is being entrusted to them.

[Ra****]

Thank you all. I feel better about my decision now.

[vi****]

You did the right thing, don’t worry! It wasn’t a decision made from day to night, you took some time to think and it wasn’t the first time! I always think that the first time could be an accident, but then it happened again. Would you want to take the risk to him to say it was “an accident” again and again? We try to be good people, but we have to respect our own boundaries! We have to put ourselves first, our health and safety!! I know it was a hard decision, it’s never easy. I think I live really far from you, I’m from Brazil hahaha but we can be friends, it’s always good to have bdsm friends when you live this kind of life!

[DarkArts1066]

I’m late to the party on this one, for which I apologise, but I felt the need to comment - and to re-affirm anyway.
No matter how you feel right now, your decision was the right one.

The first line of your post says it all really… but I would read it in reverse.
“Ignored safe word. Broken trust”.

As Doms, we cannot be complacent, and take limits or boundaries as OUR choices.
They belong to our subs… and are set by them for a reason.

The hurt will heal.
I hope, in time, that you will find another Dom.
If I could offer one piece of advice, it would be this.
Never devalue yourself at the expense of someone else’s desires.
You are the one in control…. And there will be someone else out there for you.

Good luck for the future.

[Sassy13]

I'm sorry your struggling. You made the right decision.
Safe words are not put in place to be "interpreted" by anyone. They're a line in the sand that shouldn't be argued against or disregarded.
There could have been a discussion afterwards if he wanted a better understanding of the situation, but there is no excuse for ignoring one when it's given.
Sending you strength for what will be a difficult time while you adjust 💜
I'm sorry you don't have understanding (of bdsm) people to turn to. If you need to vent or chat, please reach out to fellow kinky ppl.

[Deleted Member]

You did the right thing. Who knows what that could’ve escalated to over time.

[Va****]

Yes - move on and don’t look back. Anybody that does not understand that the safe work is sacred, does not understand what we are.

Once you find a good one, this will all become clear. Until then, just know - I mean KNOW - you deserve better than this.

Your crayons, your colouring book. If he can’t stay within the lines - sc*** him off your shoe.

[Deleted Member]

I am so sorry you are hurting, but the mind sometimes has to make decisions that hurt you short term to protect you longer term, and you were very strong doing this. I believe it was the right decision as a breach of trust is the worst thing a dom can do to their sub, specially if it wasn't the first time. He could have been testing for weak boundaries and weak boundaries breed ***. Be extra kind to yourself for a few days, treat it like a normal breakup and be glad you got out before he went too far. Hugs. Xx

[Ar****]

So sorry sweetie sending hugs. You definitely did the right thing. Don't listen to him and don't go back. The trust is gone and that is one of the most important things in are world of BDSM

[Na****]

I'm sorry you went through that, you absolutely made the right choice however, if they don't respect your safe word they don't deserve to have a sub

[ny****]

You made the right decision. Obeying a safe word is sacrosanct. It’s the foundation of safety for a sub. They’re not optional for a Dom to choose whether to honor them or not. This person has zero right to call themself a Dom if they cannot respect the use of safewords and honor them unconditionally.

That being said, I’d also recommend the use of a dual safe word system (assuming one wasn’t in place already). A yellow safe word to communicate you’re near your limit or feeling uncomfortable and a red safe word that requires an immediate stop to whatever was going on. The yellow safe word allows the Dom some flexibility in slowing things down and ramping them up again to still try and push limits. It also allows a sub to allow their limits to be pushed further knowing that they control the red safe word and can seek a hard stop at any time.