Did I dodge a bullet?

[MasterDarcy1979]

Dodged a bullet? I'd say that you dodged a rocket.

You don't have a lot of time left? You're 63 not 163.

Besides, I think you're gorgeous.

As for this guy, I don't think he was serious about meeting you.

And why does he has so many subs? Has he got a sjb farm? He sounds like a fantasist who is making up stories so you could drop your guard and trust him.

Did you do anything wrong? No. You fulfilled his task. If he doesn't like it then he can get his other "subs" to do it.

Don't make him or this experience make you feel bad. Just chalk it up as experience and move on and try to find someone who deserves you. This man does not.

Edited December 3, 2023 by MasterDarcy1979

[He****]

31 minutes ago, MasterDarcy1979 said:

Dodged a bullet? I'd say that you dodged a rocket.

You don't have a lot of time left? You're 63 not 163.

Besides, I think you're gorgeous.

As for this guy, I don't think he was serious about meeting you.

And why does he has so many subs? Has he got a sjb farm? He sounds like a fantasist who is making up stories so you could drop your guard and trust him.

Did you do anything wrong? No. You fulfilled his task. If he doesn't like it then he can get his other "subs" to do it.

Don't make him or this experience make you feel bad. Just chalk it up as experience and move on and try to find someone who deserves you. This man does not.

Thank you, I was just caught off guard I think, I had just said goodbye to someone I didn't want to say goodbye to, but it had to end. I wasn't thinking properly. I'm now having a break and try again next year. I will still talk to people because you don't know what's around the corner. The thing with him was that he clearly stated he did not do LD so I was not expecting tasks at all. But because my relationships have been LD I just fell into it without thinking about it. 

[He****]

On 11/25/2023 at 11:59 PM, RandoriUK said:

Firstly, you are an attractive young lady. Thank you for posting your photos, especially those taken in what would seem to be a professional photo shoot.

From these photos, very hot by the way, perhaps ask some deeper questions of yourself. For example, are you dressing as 'you' for you, or are you dressing to attract what may be the wrong person who wants what they see, but which is not really you?

Life is a difficult path to tread at the best of times, and whilst it is easier to grow by repeating positive experiences, it is also possible to grow by not repeating negative experiences.

Take your time, think carefully, and always remain safe within your own limits.

You are young and vibrant. Let’s have less if the little time life, take each day as it comes, and you will have many I am sure.

"The thought of not doing the things that I haven't experienced and so desperately want to, makes me sad."

Focus on this. It is you! Someone out there is desperately wanting to receive what you have to offer!

thank you for your kind words, yes I dress up for me, it makes me feel good, have done this as soon as I could afford corsets and lingerie like that, so probably late ***s early 20's. So it's always been for me. 

I usually am more careful, but just wasn't this time, he dangled a carrot I wanted. Be more careful of carrots in future

[He****]

On 11/26/2023 at 1:59 AM, FatefulDestiny said:

Ok hunni I’m back, I’ve read all the comments and you’ve definitely received some good answers and advice.

If your “problem” is (only - and I don’t mean that lightly) what you describe in your subsequent comments then his response is ***y ridiculous. Sorry, this is a real issue for me. As someone who also has issues with orgasm people who comment about  how good they are with those kinds of problems are generally self inflated, egotistical idiots who wouldn’t know a fake orgasm from a real one if it hit them in the face. “Women with those sorts of problems…” - therein lies his first mistake, the assumption of a one size fits all solution to the “problem”.

His inability and unwillingness to discuss or even allude to what his plans would have been is terrifying. How, in the name of god, can someone consent to something that they don’t know about (yes there are scenarios where this is the case but this was not one of them)? And his assumption that you would not get “hurt” is at best naive. Hurt doesn’t merely mean physically.

Additionally, if he already has subs and didn’t want a relationship what would be the purpose of the meeting (other than friendship) was he offering his expertise as a sexual counsellor 🙄 or was he simply looking for someone to play with without investing the time and energy required to form a trusting bond with you? Furthermore - I’d be interested to know if his others subs were (well, real) aware and consenting to his actions?

You followed the instructions you were given. One assumes that they made “sense” to you ergo you did not need to seek clarity. The error for you “doing it wrong” lies solely with him and his communication. If he wanted something very specific the onus is on him to make sure you’re aware of that. That said, he doesn’t do online stuff so what prompted his turn about. Very odd if you ask me. Further he had no right whatsoever to make you feel bad - you do not belong to him and even if you did making you feel bad for his poor communication is not ok.

This person appears to have no idea what they want and need and keeps flipping from one view point to another. I am so sorry you got caught up in his infantile behaviour.

My opinion for what it’s worth is that being a sub isn’t something that can be “trained” because each and every dynamic is different so what works for one D/s relationship won’t work for another. They are very fluid and my first “real” Dom described it rather like a dance with leading and following and learning each other’s steps.

A better outcome would be for him to realise he’s in the wrong and has made a mistake and to learn from it and not hurt anyone else in this way again.

I really, really want you to know you have done nothing wrong here whatsoever. We all want and need and yearn for something and sometimes we dive in or get carried away with something that isn’t right. It is only when we meet the good people and the people who are right for us that we actually realise the flaws of the other people and that we were fooling ourselves.

I’ve been where you are, more than once, I’m sending love and hugs and my inbox is always open if you need anything xxx

 

I've just re read this and can only say, thank you 

[Fa****]

16 minutes ago, Hels1920 said:

I've just re read this and can only say, thank you 

Absolutely no need whatsoever xx

[MasterDarcy1979]

9 hours ago, Hels1920 said:

Thank you, I was just caught off guard I think, I had just said goodbye to someone I didn't want to say goodbye to, but it had to end. I wasn't thinking properly. I'm now having a break and try again next year. I will still talk to people because you don't know what's around the corner. The thing with him was that he clearly stated he did not do LD so I was not expecting tasks at all. But because my relationships have been LD I just fell into it without thinking about it. 

Yeah. I get it. People are most *** right after a relationship.

Yeah. Just don't be so hard on yourself. As you said, just take a few weeks off and then get your face back out there next year. Because as you said, you don't know what's around thf corner.