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Growth and a Thank You

CopperKnob

By CopperKnob
in Online Munch

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CopperKnob

CopperKnob

Posted

Prompted by a comment someone made on my recent post.

I fell into BDSM. Literally. I didn't go searching it out,  R introduced me when I was a ***ager. Bright-eyed, bushy tailed. Naive. A ***ager.
Edge play? I don’t know what that is, but yes please because it sounds err, edgy.
Risk? Oh my god, danger is an absolute turn on, I just came when you said that word. YES. YES. YES!

We played on the edge with no understanding of consent or the consequences of our actions.
It was thrilling, but the harm rushed in one small mistake at a time, and I left that relationship and country utterly confused, degraded, and not knowing what had gone wrong. Only having dial-up internet with the family PC sitting in the lounge, I had no where I could ask or do some research. I had no idea that what I'd become involved in was kink (or at least something like it), and after time, I forgot about R and everything we'd done.

20yrs later, chatting about relationships with colleagues, someone mentioned D/s. And I pooh poohed it. But, I couldn't get it out of my head and so, of course I googled. I found FL and I was terrified mortified and disgusted. My account lasted less than 24hrs and again I pushed kink to one side.

I tried my damnedest to get comfortable with a vanilla future, but some of what i saw had intrigued and interested me. Back to the internet and I found Fet.

I learned. I grew. I figured out and took ownership of my past mistakes, including why the toxicity of the relationship with R wasn't solely down to the drink. I began building a circle of online friends and opening up about my life. This was all pretty unsexy stuff, but I needed it desperately if I was to hold onto all I’d gained and wanted from BDSM.

Without Fet, I would most likely be having missionary sex with a guy called Bob with a penchant for blowjobs. This site has helped me make sense of my history and given me the self-acceptance to feel normalish. For the most part, it's removed my shame and given me the freedom to explore my sexuality safely. I’ve spent three years in an environment that calls my kinks “acceptable”, and that has probably saved me a decade of therapy.

Deleted Member

Posted
5 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

It was your comment

😅 Shucks! Flattered to inspire a post. 😊 😂

Yo****

Yo****

Posted

I agree wholeheartedly that there should be no shame for anyone’s kinks. I’m still in a position though where I fell shame for having kinks and feeling like I’m forcing this into my partner. 

I’m sure one day I’ll be able to make a post like this but for now, that seems to be a long way away. 

CopperKnob

CopperKnob

Posted
  • Author
6 hours ago, SirValentines said:
There should be no shame in anyones kinks .

Agreed, there shouldn't however, self reflection does cause us to question ourselves/our behaviour etc and part of questioning can sometimes mean holding ourselves up to societal norms and, I think sometimes, for some that can bring up feelings of shame for a variety of reasons and I think that that's natural. You can't grow without self reflection.

Deleted Member

Posted
I agree ,for some its how they are brought up maybe by religion and others how you have described above ..

Deleted Member

Posted

Agree been on sites for over 15 years and set up rooms. But go but can never leave for long

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