We all know how important safer sex is, and for Condom Week we want to make sure you’re wrapping it up properly. Kinky safer sex comes with a few extra challenges of its own, so how can you make sure you’re behaving as responsibly as you can?  
 

BDSM & Barrier Methods

It’s no secret that kinky sex can get a little more vigorous than the missionary position. If you’re changing positions a lot and not holding back, it can be more likely that the condoms you use will break or come off.  Make absolutely sure you’re putting your condoms on properly, and be careful to hold on to the base of the condom as you pull out. Every time you change position, make sure your condom hasn’t torn or split. Be careful to carry more than one to make it easy to change if you find you need extra!
 

Kinky Safer Sex & Anal Play

If you’re playing with anal sex, there are a few things you should be doing to keep everyone as safe as possible. The main thing is to make sure you’re using condoms. Never switch from anal to oral or vaginal penetration without also throwing the first condom away and putting on a new one. If you play without using condoms, make sure you wash thoroughly before switching from anal sex to a different method of penetration. Or consider using condoms for anal anyway to make it a smoother transition.

Good lubrication is vital for more than just comfort. Without it, you’re more likely to experience tearing that can increase risk of infection and cause other problems down the line. For anal, lube is part of safer sex!

You also need to be sure you’re only using toys that are advertised as being safe for anal play. It’s all too easy for something to travel a little too far up unless it has a flared base designed to keep it in place - this is how people end up with humiliating trips to A&E.
 

What If There’s Blood?

Many people enjoy blood play, but it comes with a few kinky safer sex considerations of its own that you need to keep in mind. Blood is probably the bodily substance most likely to transmit an STI. So if you’re thinking of engaging in blood play with someone you should get yourselves tested just as you would if you were hoping to stop using barrier contraception with a new partner.

There are already plenty of excellent guides to safe blood play available, and with this kink it’s even more than usually vital that you research and follow them before you begin.

Incidentally, if you unintentionally bleed (or cause someone else to bleed) during a scene, it’s cruicial to stop play and deal with it. Risk-aware consensual kink means you’re completely aware of what’s going on and don’t let things you didn’t intend to happen occur.
 

Keeping Safe With Other Bodily Fluids

Blood isn’t the only non-genital bodily fluid you might encounter during a BDSM scene, of course.  If you’re including spitting in your play, make sure to avoid your partner’s eyes. Human mouths are filled with germs and bacteria, and they can be pretty nasty! It’s very unlikely that you’ll get an STI. The idea that HIV, for example, can be transmitted through saliva is a myth - but it can hurt like hell. There are other infections that can be transmitted this way. At the very least, if someone spits in your eyes you’re likely to spend a day or so with itchy, uncomfortable, bloodshot eyes, and it’s not a good look.

If you’re into watersports, you’re pretty safe from a sexual health perspective as urine is cleaner than you imagine. This stops being true if you have a UTI, however, or an STI such as chlamydia or gonorrhoea. You should also be careful to maintain basic hygiene. Avoid watersports with people you have absolutely no reason to trust.
 

A Few Final Notes on Safety

This isn’t an article about safe BDSM, which is a massive thing all by itself and a topic for another day. That said, there are a few things I felt I couldn’t write this piece without addressing.

Safewords are part of safer sex. Make sure you’ve discussed safewords explicitly, and remember that ignoring a safeword is always abusive: assault at best and, at worst, rape.

Breath play can be a lot of fun, but it’s never completely safe. Do your research before you begin and don’t take any unnecessary risks.

Accidents do happen. Make sure you’ve considered the potential for mishap before you play. Be sure to have a plan in place for if something goes wrong - this includes having shears available for bondage!

Make sure you’re hitting & spanking safely. There are several guides available to help you know where it’s safe to strike; stick to the recommended areas.

Don’t get nerve damage from poor bondage skills. Pins and needles are a sign that something’s wrong, so communicate actively about this and don’t keep quiet.

 

Abi Brown is a freelance writer and general pen-for-hire devoted to sexual deviancy, far-left politics and wearing too much jewelry. Find her at her website or on Twitter @see_abi_write.

 

 

 


YOU MAY ALSO LIKE

0 comments

Your content will need to be approved by a moderator

Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoticons maximum are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



There are no comments to display.

BDSM Magazine

Similar discussions