Vicky Caves discovered kink in her late-teens and hasn't looked back since – and the world is a better place for it. She set up her award-winning company Bondatrix in the early 1990s – selling BDSM clothing and equipment – and it has gone strength from strength. And, as well as selling kinky products to fetish lovers all over the globe, Vicky also manages to find the time to indulge in another of her passions – educating the BDSM community about safer and sexy play.
And that's why we have the immense pleasure of welcoming Vicky to our BDSM Training School as our newest instructors. She is bringing decades of knowledge, skill and experience to share with us all – and we’re super excited to have her onboard. 'Be inspired, be free, get kinky' is the Bondatrix motto, and we couldn't agree more!
I discovered the wonderful world of BDSM and kink a few months after my 18th birthday, watching Preaching to the Perverted at a house party. I instantly knew I wanted to be Tanya, the lead Dominatrix in the film, living a life of kink and surrounded by slaves. I always go for what I want, so within the next few weeks I had already found out about the UK fetish scene, started going to events, and found a wonderful slave and friend to start exploring with. I haven’t looked back since!
The kink community is friendly, welcoming, and includes such a diverse range of folk. People are living a full life – how they want to be, rather than how society tells them to behave and live.
I’ve always been really into impact play, but more recently have had a slave into very heavy bondage and I’ve been finding I love this too. We’ve even built an isolation cell in my house!
Your new kinky teacher: Vicky Caves of Bondatrix
I had a gradual start. I began selling homemade products at fetish events while studying for my business degree back in the 1990s.
I’d always been arty and was torn between an art degree or a business one. I was also frustrated at how limited the range of kit was when I started out over 20 years ago. You could buy two types of floggers and one type of cuff which was so large and stiff It slipped off slim wrists! So I started experimenting and making things myself. I found a place which taught pattern cutting and how to use industrial sewing machines. I went there for a few years, straight after university.
My award-winning products are the Bonatrix leather cuffs and collars. As mentioned, I wanted to fix the issue of slim wrists slipping out of cuffs, which I managed, helping me to win the International Bondage Awards in 2012. Since then I have also won at the UK Fetish Awards in 2020.
“The kink community is friendly, welcoming, and includes such a diverse range of folk. People are living a full life – how they want to be, rather than how society tells them to!”
The hemp rope is also proving very popular as I dye it in all sorts of colors and include many different lengths. Also, my spiky bra inserts have been featured on Buzzfeed several times and ship all over the world!
Cuff luck! These hand restraints from Bondtrix are big sellers
Educational classes were really important for me when I was starting out as a Domme. So, several years in, I decided I wanted to give something back. I started approaching events and teaching in-person.
I published a free magazine for eight years called Curious with lots of articles about starting out. I’d give it out at munches and sex events, which were full of kink-curious people. I also filmed videos in Canada for a YouTube channel which got millions of views – until it was closed down.
Vital. We are often playing with dangerous things here. Knowing how to do them safely means you can have a much more fun time and much less chance of injury: physical or mental.
Excited! I am always happy to work with different places to get as much education out into the world as possible.
It can be daunting knowing where to start with BDSM, and it's easy to make mistakes and have negative experiences through lack of knowledge. So the BDSM for Beginners course is a great starting point to demystify everything and help you build confidence. It covers some basic practical techniques and safety tips, as well as how to talk to your partner about it all, which is absolutely key to you both having a great time.
“Educational classes were really important for me when I was starting out as a Domme. So, several years in, I decided I wanted to give something back.”
When I first started trying out BDSM I consumed as much learning as I could on it, especially as I wanted to be the Dominant, so I would be responsible for another person. This course contains a lot of the things I found vital to know about early on and I hope it helps others in their journey starting out too.
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Yes, the second course is Introduction to Impact Play. I've always loved impact play. It can create such a range of emotions and feelings and really help the submissive get in touch with their body. Our lives are hectic, and an impact play scene is a great way to put everything else on hold.
As the submissive, you can lose yourself in sensation, and as the Dominant it can be really relaxing to fully focus fully on another person – the range of sensations you're giving to them and the mental journey and endorphin journey you're taking them on.
“I've always loved impact play. It can create such a range of emotions and feelings and really help the submissive get in touch with their body.”
So, this is a great course for helping you understand the subtleties of impact play that make it so fascinating, and to build your confidence to play with it. For those that are already experienced in this fetish, the Advanced Impact Play course takes things a step further.
Slap happy: discover impact play through the BDSM Training School
I love seeing people increase in confidence throughout the period of a short class. Finding out how to do things properly and safely gives people a lot more freedom to start playing more deeply and more how they want to. It makes it all fun rather than scary, especially being a Dominant!
I keep getting told I should write a book as there are so many! I love all the international travel I get to do teaching at kink conventions – mixing with kinksters from all over the world for a weekend and finding out new ways to do things and swapping ideas is amazing.
And winning at the International Bondage Awards and the UK Fetish Awards were a great recognition of all the hard work I put into what I do. Every day I feel lucky to be doing something I feel so passionate about. I feel privileged to be helping so many people in my lifetime fulfill their kinky fantasies through the products I make and the educational classes I teach. •
It has been wonderful to get to know Vicky better. Check out her classes on the BDSM Training School now!
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