About me
I’m looking for:
- Friends
- Kinky Dates
- LTR (relationship)
- NSA (no strings...)
- Swingers
- BDSM Lovers
- Pic Exchange
- Cybersex
Description
Your profile :
You are young, naturally submissive, novice or experienced, wishing to be initiated or to deepen your experience.
You are open-minded, motivated, in this desire for submission. You want to lose all control, to surrender, to be educated, trained, shaped, embellished and fulfilled by taking this path.
You are available on weekends, eventually you could consider a permanent D/s relationship, being taken in hand and fully supported.
You have an attraction for Dominant mature men.
You are cerebral, but also physical. Physical devotion is just as important to you as cerebral devotion.
You feel submission as a need, even as a novice.
You consider yourself, or wish to be considered, a sexual object devoted to male pleasure.
My profile :
Dominant experienced, soft and hard, single and without children, therefore available, authoritarian, demanding, firm, but fair, imaginative, respectful, open-minded, with a hint of perversity.
Offers an introductory course for novices and curious people wishing to discover while respecting your limits and prohibitions.
Offers education, strict training, integrating rules of life and behavior, rituals, sexual training.
Priority will be given to those who ultimately wish to invest in a permanent D/s life (vanilla life excluded).
I am only available for submissive women.
I will respond to all candidates, even the curious ones.
Possibility of taking charge of your expenses related to your travels and your installation.
Limits
nothings
My roles & archetype
My kinks & fetishes
Fetish.com gives you…
Fetish.com is like an appetizing smorgasbord in Castle-an-Dinas with lots of hot guys to meet up with. Have a look around first if you prefer to see who’s around, or if you know what you want, search by selecting the right category "Kinky Dating”. Nobody stays alone here for long! Fetish.com has tons going on!
I am a dominating man looking for his new submissive, beginner. The education of a submissive is for me, an important point, which makes it possible to give birth to complicity, uniting pleasure and desire, but also confidence, leading to total abandonment, towards the dominant.
I'm a patient, Read more… attentive master, but I'm also demanding and severe when necessary.
My practices are many and varied, e.g. bondage, kittyplay, daily rule, spreader bar.
If you're motivated, curious and ready to take on challenges, to develop yourself and your master, let's talk.
We look forward to hearing from you.
I'm a patient, Read more… attentive master, but I'm also demanding and severe when necessary.
My practices are many and varied, e.g. bondage, kittyplay, daily rule, spreader bar.
If you're motivated, curious and ready to take on challenges, to develop yourself and your master, let's talk.
We look forward to hearing from you.
Your profile :
You are young, naturally submissive, novice or experienced, wishing to be initiated or to deepen your experience.
You are open-minded, motivated, in this desire for submission. You want to lose all control, to surrender, to be educated, trained, shaped, embellished and fulfilled by Read more… taking this path.
You are available on weekends, eventually you could consider a permanent D/s relationship, being taken in hand and fully supported.
You have an attraction for Dominant mature men.
You are cerebral, but also physical. Physical devotion is just as important to you as cerebral devotion.
You feel submission as a need, even as a novice.
You consider yourself, or wish to be considered, a sexual object devoted to male pleasure.
My profile :
Dominant experienced, soft and hard, single and without children, therefore available, authoritarian, demanding, firm, but fair, imaginative, respectful, open-minded, with a hint of perversity.
Offers an introductory course for novices and curious people wishing to discover while respecting your limits and prohibitions.
Offers education, strict training, integrating rules of life and behavior, rituals, sexual training.
Priority will be given to those who ultimately wish to invest in a permanent D/s life (vanilla life excluded).
I am only available for submissive women.
I will respond to all candidates, even the curious ones.
Possibility of taking charge of your expenses related to your travels and your installation.
You are young, naturally submissive, novice or experienced, wishing to be initiated or to deepen your experience.
You are open-minded, motivated, in this desire for submission. You want to lose all control, to surrender, to be educated, trained, shaped, embellished and fulfilled by Read more… taking this path.
You are available on weekends, eventually you could consider a permanent D/s relationship, being taken in hand and fully supported.
You have an attraction for Dominant mature men.
You are cerebral, but also physical. Physical devotion is just as important to you as cerebral devotion.
You feel submission as a need, even as a novice.
You consider yourself, or wish to be considered, a sexual object devoted to male pleasure.
My profile :
Dominant experienced, soft and hard, single and without children, therefore available, authoritarian, demanding, firm, but fair, imaginative, respectful, open-minded, with a hint of perversity.
Offers an introductory course for novices and curious people wishing to discover while respecting your limits and prohibitions.
Offers education, strict training, integrating rules of life and behavior, rituals, sexual training.
Priority will be given to those who ultimately wish to invest in a permanent D/s life (vanilla life excluded).
I am only available for submissive women.
I will respond to all candidates, even the curious ones.
Possibility of taking charge of your expenses related to your travels and your installation.
Toxic people in BDSM
In Bdsm you meet some extraordinary people. In particular, I have infinite admiration and tenderness for the wonderful submissives I've met. I've also met Dominants and Masters who were men of rare humanity. But let's not forget that domination is a power game. For some, Masters or submissives, Read more…it's not a game, but a need to control, manipulate and use their partner with total disregard for humanity. And to make their partner their plaything, they start with seduction, then manipulation and end with destructive physical and psychological violence.
Prevention is cure, as the saying goes.
My hope is that my writings will raise awareness and help these wonderful submissives avoid the infernal, destructive cycle of abuse.
Depending on the partner, Bdsm can be a divine sexual game that multiplies enjoyment, increases it exponentially and enables the attainment of an absolute bliss called Subspace in a consensual manner and in harmony with the partner. The aim of this site is to achieve this result.
For others, it's a way of satisfying their instincts, sadism, domination and manipulation to the detriment of the other. The aim of this site is to explore ways of avoiding such partners.
For the sake of convenience, I'll call TOXIC people DOMINANTS, MASTERS OR SUBMISES who harm their partners by abusing, manipulating or violating them...
1.The secrecy of BDSM practices encourages abuse.
BDSM is almost always a "secret" relationship. Sulphurous, poorly accepted, poorly perceived and poorly understood by society, BDSM is often practiced in secret. As a result, the victim is isolated and unable to seek help from friends, therapists or doctors. The victim will be afraid to ask for help, as it means having to explain the nature of the relationship to people who will judge and perhaps misunderstand her. Abusers know this and take advantage of it.
2.The narcissistic pervert:
A narcissistic pervert is a person who has a devaluing self-image and who enhances his or her self-worth by putting others down. He or she gives the appearance of being superior to others, and feels an exacerbated need to be admired. He or she manipulates those close to him or her and feels no guilt when hurting others.
The narcissistic pervert is the most dangerous of all manipulators. It is estimated that 10% of the population are affected to varying degrees, and 3% are even more dangerous because they are unaware of their condition and are convinced they are acting for the good of others. Worse still, some are sadists who take pleasure in making others suffer!
The narcissistic pervert tries to create a relationship of intimacy with the other person in order to attack their narcissistic integrity. He destroys the other person's confidence and self-esteem in order to create a bond of dependence on him. In his manipulation, he makes his victim believe that it is she who is dependent on him, when in fact the opposite is true.
Narcissistic disorders
The narcissistic pervert has an insatiable need for recognition and admiration.
Perversion
He wants to satisfy his desires and needs by using others to satisfy them. His partner is an object.
To achieve this, he creates a strong bond with his partner, gradually destroying his self-confidence and self-esteem, and creating a bond of dependence between the other person and him. Manipulation consists in making the victim believe that the bond of dependence is theirs, not theirs.
The narcissistic pervert is often sympathetic, charming and seductive. He moves forward masked, and is difficult to recognize. It's hard for the victim to realize what's going on. It usually takes time for the victim to understand and realize the trap they've fallen into. The damage is already done, and the after-effects can be long-lasting.
A destructive Prince Charming
He can look like Prince Charming. A chameleon of a man, he'll be able to guess you and show himself to be seductive, romantic, sympathetic, kind, attentive, available... he'll exert a certain fascination over you. He can be cultured, intelligent and self-confident. He's reassuring, but his deeper nature will show through and he'll tend to stir up trouble and conflict... when he's upset, he'll reveal his nature as a demanding, intransigent and temperamental dictator.
Little by little, he'll develop his hold on you, by valorizing himself and putting you down.
His weapons of destruction are criticism, humiliation and making you feel guilty. He can insult, threaten, blackmail and resort to physical violence.
If you play his game, you'll lose your self-esteem, your self-confidence, feel dirty, inferior, mediocre and your inner joy will disappear and be replaced by deep distress. It will isolate you, make you lose your friends, even your savings, your health...
He destroys you slowly, and takes his pleasure in it!
How do you recognize a narcissistic pervert?
Here are some of the character traits of a narcissistic pervert. While these traits can be found in Dominants with strong egos, they can also be found in many submissives who manage to destroy their Dominant. They can also be found in manipulators. In all cases, beware!
In this list of behaviors, you'll find attitudes of BDSM dominants that are, of course, unacceptable! They call it "psychological BDSM". It's anything but!
The narcissistic pervert seeks to provoke feelings of guilt in his victim, in order to destroy the victim's self-image! For example, the continual reminder of a past mistake, by systematically putting you down, is a classic form of manipulation. The aim is to deprive the victim of self-assurance and self-confidence.
He creates confusion with contradictory messages, blowing hot and cold. He subtly alternates a compliment and a criticism, a threat and a forgiveness, violence and acts of love... sowing confusion and making the victim feel guilty. He takes pleasure in creating this confusion.
He warns his future victim with phrases like, I'm not good enough for you... if he's aware of his condition, which isn't always the case.
He needs to please, to seduce, to shine in front of others. He'll surround himself with people who admire him. He uses compliments to create a bond.
Once the bond has been created, he will devalue his victim, humiliate him, denigrate him to weaken him.
He uses lies to achieve his ends
To justify his behavior, he reverses roles and positions himself as the victim. He makes his victims feel so guilty that they end up apologizing for faults they didn't commit!
He manipulates and isolates his victims, turning those around him against them.
He has no empathy, but can feign it. He has no remorse, he makes no sincere apology, he is not aware of the harm he is doing, because he has no feelings.
For him, causing moral and physical pain is a pleasure in its own right. He's a sadist.
When he's upset, sometimes for no reason at all, he gets angry. Anger can be raging and uncontrollable.
A few warning signs:
There's always a euphoric phase when he's perfect, the real Prince Charming, then little by little :
He vamps you, robs you of your energy, eats you up.
He's never satisfied and always wants more.
He isolates you, weakens you, makes you feel guilty, uses lies, humiliation, denigration...
In public, he's brilliant and gentle... and the opposite in private.
He's jealous of your happiness, your friends... and doesn't like it when the other person is happy, so he'll break their joy.
Manipulative, he'll stay on the edge and apologize out of strategy.
Have you ever been in contact with this kind of person??????
Prevention is cure, as the saying goes.
My hope is that my writings will raise awareness and help these wonderful submissives avoid the infernal, destructive cycle of abuse.
Depending on the partner, Bdsm can be a divine sexual game that multiplies enjoyment, increases it exponentially and enables the attainment of an absolute bliss called Subspace in a consensual manner and in harmony with the partner. The aim of this site is to achieve this result.
For others, it's a way of satisfying their instincts, sadism, domination and manipulation to the detriment of the other. The aim of this site is to explore ways of avoiding such partners.
For the sake of convenience, I'll call TOXIC people DOMINANTS, MASTERS OR SUBMISES who harm their partners by abusing, manipulating or violating them...
1.The secrecy of BDSM practices encourages abuse.
BDSM is almost always a "secret" relationship. Sulphurous, poorly accepted, poorly perceived and poorly understood by society, BDSM is often practiced in secret. As a result, the victim is isolated and unable to seek help from friends, therapists or doctors. The victim will be afraid to ask for help, as it means having to explain the nature of the relationship to people who will judge and perhaps misunderstand her. Abusers know this and take advantage of it.
2.The narcissistic pervert:
A narcissistic pervert is a person who has a devaluing self-image and who enhances his or her self-worth by putting others down. He or she gives the appearance of being superior to others, and feels an exacerbated need to be admired. He or she manipulates those close to him or her and feels no guilt when hurting others.
The narcissistic pervert is the most dangerous of all manipulators. It is estimated that 10% of the population are affected to varying degrees, and 3% are even more dangerous because they are unaware of their condition and are convinced they are acting for the good of others. Worse still, some are sadists who take pleasure in making others suffer!
The narcissistic pervert tries to create a relationship of intimacy with the other person in order to attack their narcissistic integrity. He destroys the other person's confidence and self-esteem in order to create a bond of dependence on him. In his manipulation, he makes his victim believe that it is she who is dependent on him, when in fact the opposite is true.
Narcissistic disorders
The narcissistic pervert has an insatiable need for recognition and admiration.
Perversion
He wants to satisfy his desires and needs by using others to satisfy them. His partner is an object.
To achieve this, he creates a strong bond with his partner, gradually destroying his self-confidence and self-esteem, and creating a bond of dependence between the other person and him. Manipulation consists in making the victim believe that the bond of dependence is theirs, not theirs.
The narcissistic pervert is often sympathetic, charming and seductive. He moves forward masked, and is difficult to recognize. It's hard for the victim to realize what's going on. It usually takes time for the victim to understand and realize the trap they've fallen into. The damage is already done, and the after-effects can be long-lasting.
A destructive Prince Charming
He can look like Prince Charming. A chameleon of a man, he'll be able to guess you and show himself to be seductive, romantic, sympathetic, kind, attentive, available... he'll exert a certain fascination over you. He can be cultured, intelligent and self-confident. He's reassuring, but his deeper nature will show through and he'll tend to stir up trouble and conflict... when he's upset, he'll reveal his nature as a demanding, intransigent and temperamental dictator.
Little by little, he'll develop his hold on you, by valorizing himself and putting you down.
His weapons of destruction are criticism, humiliation and making you feel guilty. He can insult, threaten, blackmail and resort to physical violence.
If you play his game, you'll lose your self-esteem, your self-confidence, feel dirty, inferior, mediocre and your inner joy will disappear and be replaced by deep distress. It will isolate you, make you lose your friends, even your savings, your health...
He destroys you slowly, and takes his pleasure in it!
How do you recognize a narcissistic pervert?
Here are some of the character traits of a narcissistic pervert. While these traits can be found in Dominants with strong egos, they can also be found in many submissives who manage to destroy their Dominant. They can also be found in manipulators. In all cases, beware!
In this list of behaviors, you'll find attitudes of BDSM dominants that are, of course, unacceptable! They call it "psychological BDSM". It's anything but!
The narcissistic pervert seeks to provoke feelings of guilt in his victim, in order to destroy the victim's self-image! For example, the continual reminder of a past mistake, by systematically putting you down, is a classic form of manipulation. The aim is to deprive the victim of self-assurance and self-confidence.
He creates confusion with contradictory messages, blowing hot and cold. He subtly alternates a compliment and a criticism, a threat and a forgiveness, violence and acts of love... sowing confusion and making the victim feel guilty. He takes pleasure in creating this confusion.
He warns his future victim with phrases like, I'm not good enough for you... if he's aware of his condition, which isn't always the case.
He needs to please, to seduce, to shine in front of others. He'll surround himself with people who admire him. He uses compliments to create a bond.
Once the bond has been created, he will devalue his victim, humiliate him, denigrate him to weaken him.
He uses lies to achieve his ends
To justify his behavior, he reverses roles and positions himself as the victim. He makes his victims feel so guilty that they end up apologizing for faults they didn't commit!
He manipulates and isolates his victims, turning those around him against them.
He has no empathy, but can feign it. He has no remorse, he makes no sincere apology, he is not aware of the harm he is doing, because he has no feelings.
For him, causing moral and physical pain is a pleasure in its own right. He's a sadist.
When he's upset, sometimes for no reason at all, he gets angry. Anger can be raging and uncontrollable.
A few warning signs:
There's always a euphoric phase when he's perfect, the real Prince Charming, then little by little :
He vamps you, robs you of your energy, eats you up.
He's never satisfied and always wants more.
He isolates you, weakens you, makes you feel guilty, uses lies, humiliation, denigration...
In public, he's brilliant and gentle... and the opposite in private.
He's jealous of your happiness, your friends... and doesn't like it when the other person is happy, so he'll break their joy.
Manipulative, he'll stay on the edge and apologize out of strategy.
Have you ever been in contact with this kind of person??????
LikequeenP, PutAspell, NabiNexusand 22 more… · 16 Replies
KiaOra Yes Yes
Like
· 23.04.2024 16:52:43
Jaguar54 ➦Jaguar54 quote RandoriUK:❝That's a very poor view of a Dom.
Sure, there are 'players' who do act this way and subs who fall for it. But I don't believe a genuine Dom would behave like this.
A D/s relationship should be one of mutual agreements, consensual, respectful, and understanding of each Read more… partners needs, to be served, and to serve.
It could also be argued that a Dom 'serves' their sub and that a sub is always in control.
Perhaps take time to reflect, but I have witnessed some very beautiful and safe D/s relationships that have lasted many years.❞
While fully accepting and endorsing the OP's perspective, @RandoriUK also has a very valid point. We ain't all bad guys.
Mutual Agreement
Consent
Respect
Understanding and willingness to consider each others needs
That serves as a useful, although not exhaustive, checklist. Take a step back and look at your relationship with critical eyes. Are you satisfied that *you* can tick those boxes, or have you been told that you must?
Sure, there are 'players' who do act this way and subs who fall for it. But I don't believe a genuine Dom would behave like this.
A D/s relationship should be one of mutual agreements, consensual, respectful, and understanding of each Read more… partners needs, to be served, and to serve.
It could also be argued that a Dom 'serves' their sub and that a sub is always in control.
Perhaps take time to reflect, but I have witnessed some very beautiful and safe D/s relationships that have lasted many years.❞
While fully accepting and endorsing the OP's perspective, @RandoriUK also has a very valid point. We ain't all bad guys.
Mutual Agreement
Consent
Respect
Understanding and willingness to consider each others needs
That serves as a useful, although not exhaustive, checklist. Take a step back and look at your relationship with critical eyes. Are you satisfied that *you* can tick those boxes, or have you been told that you must?
LikeKiaOra
· 22.01.2024 17:57:30
Delilahthegurl Hey, I'm pretty new to this and hoping to find someone who can teach me how it works when done properly. My first experience ended.. well I no longer wish to continue, but was bound and gagged and wasn't given a choice. Be very careful who you give control to!! Still, I want to meet a trustworthy person and learn about bdsm and explore my kinks. Hey, I'm pretty new to this and hoping to find someone who can teach me how it works when done properly. My first experience ended.. well I no longer wish to continue, but was bound and gagged and wasn't given a choice. Be very careful who you give control to!! Still, I want to meet a trustworthy person and learn about bdsm and explore my kinks.
LikeRandoriUK, LittleSoulTease
· 21.01.2024 19:01:41
Show more
3 of 16
KINKMAS TREASURE HUNT 🪅 AND THE WINNERS ARE...
I need help I can't find anything😤😅
LikePowerheater, Atlantabbc ·
Jump to discussion
The DS Link, love and tenderness in BDSM
A thorny subject
For some, BDSM is purely a quest for pleasure without tenderness, without love, and any feeling that arises causes the relationship to be abandoned. For others, tenderness has its place (but not love) because it cements the BOND, that strong attachment, that submissive Master Read more…osmosis that many seek. There are those who reconcile and claim BDSM loves and make them official through BDSM marriages.
Submissives often come to BDSM for several reasons:
They think they'll find pleasure, pure, intense sex with no strings attached.
They're looking for a totally fusional relationship between master and submissive.
They want to let go, to abandon themselves, sometimes to be someone else.
Some are looking for structure, elevation, to acquire new skills and knowledge, to get out of their environment...
Some want a deep attachment without the torments and complications of love.
Others want something simple, healthy, with clear rules, sexual and emotional intensity and fulfillment, and will see how it evolves.
There are as many motivations for Bdsm as there are Submissives and Masters.
But there are some constants that we'll go over.
Self-control
BDSM, the DS relationship, is based on self-control. BDSM is pleasure, passion and thrills. We experience sexual impulses of fabulous strength and intensity. Emotions run high. As a result, some people associate the strength of what they feel with love. But in the majority of cases, it's not. It's about the mysterious, indefinable LINK that so strongly unites Master and submissive. BDSM has its own rules and protocols to keep you under control and avoid the vanilla love spills that often spell the end of the BDSM relationship.
A parallel world
When you become a submissive, you become a different person.
You secretly transgress sexual and behavioral taboos.
You obey codes and rules that, in this age of gender equality and feminism, are no longer accepted, and you take pleasure in it! We engage in sexual practices that are often intense, even extreme, and poorly perceived by the right-minded. We free ourselves from our family, social class, prejudices and taboos, and become someone else. That other person wearing a collar, like a pet, like a slave, is not you, not the person your relatives know. You with another name, your submissive name, wearing sexy outfits and living your passion for BDSM in a parallel world often unknown to your loved ones.
THE LINK
The Dominant is going through the same process. Given the charisma and the strength of the emotions felt during the various sexual games and Bdsm, an attachment is created. This attachment is what we call the bond. This bond enables the submissive to feed off the Master's strength and power, and to grow in confidence. It is characterized by trust, respect, tenderness and belonging. The submissive gives herself with no expectations other than to satisfy her lord and master. Moral issues and social etiquette fall by the wayside, and nothing else matters except the will to be his, the joy and happiness of being his thing. For the Master, it's a huge responsibility to offer a Bdsm universe in keeping with the imagination of his submissive, which he must nourish and constantly renew with patience and skill. Seeing his submissive blossom little by little, making her happier and more independent, asserting herself in her everyday life, is a pleasure and a priceless satisfaction for the Master.
Dominant and Submissive cannot exist without each other. Without this synergy, this harmony that could resemble perfect love.
The strength of the bond is considerable. The submissive will experience the strongest pleasures of her life, discovering subspace and infinite ecstasies. A good Master's charisma and magnetism can sometimes trigger repeated orgasms with a glance, a gesture, a finger that barely grazes the vulva, making her a fountain...
Breaking the bond
When the bond is broken, whether by the Master or the submissive, the void is immense. It's an immutable law that everyone can regain their freedom at any time. I disagree. The submissive's gift is so great and so strong that a Master must not break it unless the submissive is guilty of serious misconduct. On the other hand, the submissive must be able to keep this privilege at all times.
Master's ethics:
The submissive is free to leave at any time. If she leaves, the fault lies with the Master, who must take responsibility for her failure to satisfy him.
The Master cannot break his commitments unless the submissive commits a serious fault. The Master must be reliable, always present and available to the submissive who gives herself entirely to him.
To have given everything to the other, to have experienced moments of an intensity and strength unknown before, the greatest pleasures of one's existence, to have surfed on subspace or immersed oneself in it with delight and suddenly, nothing! It's a shock that's hard to overcome for the partner who didn't choose the often brutal end to the relationship. You feel betrayed, abandoned... and this can lead to deep depression.
The submissive is particularly vulnerable to this, as the Master often has several submissives and leaves his submissive for another out of weariness, because she's prettier, younger, more liberated... whereas the submissive has given herself totally to one Master and rarely leaves him for another.
There are often warning signs that the bond is breaking. Fewer meetings, reproaches...
Is the bond love?
Bdsm obeys rules and rituals, and as long as these are respected, as long as everyone plays their part, the bond remains active and powerful. Everything is done in BDSM to ensure that it's strong and intense, without going through the pangs of love in the event of separation. Everyone plays a role, everyone is someone else. The person you're going to become attached to is a secret person who doesn't exist in the ordinary world. Loving your submissive or loving your Master is like loving Superman. Superman has two personalities, two faces, two lives. And while Superman can be a fascinating character, Clark, the reporter, is less glamorous. Loving Superman and finding yourself in Clark's arms can be quite a shock!
It all depends on the personality of the submissive Master couple and the dynamic they've established.
As soon as one or the other questions the Bdsm relationship, talking about vanilla love, the strength of the bond will fade, the relationship will become banal and will disappear with heart wounds for at least one of the two and sometimes for both.
Tenderness in DS
How can you not feel tenderness for a partner who gives you everything?
Tenderness is a form of affection, sensitivity and benevolent consideration towards another person, without the element of constraint that passion or desire could create.
Source: Wikipedia
It's a good idea to show tenderness to strengthen the bond, during the session, and afterwards during a tenderness break to evacuate the excess of emotions experienced. A DS relationship without tenderness
DS couple, ideal couple?
In a balanced DS relationship, the quest for perfection FOR THE OTHER is mutual.
Both partners are transcended by their desire to give everything to the other.
As long as the values that make the submissive an exceptional loving being, such as attachment and self-giving, the desire to please and to please others, accompanied by the feeling of happiness that this brings, are present in the relationship, all is well (with the same approach for the master, of course).
If the bdsm stops, if the dog loses its values and libido, the relationship often ceases.
It's a constant effort to reinvent oneself and satisfy the other person. With a BDSM framework, you can enjoy a very long, perfect and harmonious relationship, free from the hazards of ordinary relationships and far more intense and respectful.
Did you say love?
Big debate... I'll let you be the judge.
On a specialized website, the 5 criteria of true love:
Finding the other person mysterious
Being afraid of losing them
Agreeing to commit to the unknown
Feeling desire
In BDSM, love is a trap, because the person you're going to love doesn't exist in real life. The person only exists as long as the BDSM bond lasts. If the bond ceases, the relationship will deteriorate, as expectations will no longer be met for either partner.
Two immutable rules to respect:
The end of the BDSM relationship marks the end of the entire relationship.
A finished relationship never starts again.
Respecting these two rules will save you a lot of suffering...
They must be clearly stated at the start of the relationship.
what do you think 🤔🤔
The exception to this is BDSM love, a true and rare love that can break free from these two rules. I know married couples who live this rare love.
Feeling you exist
For some, BDSM is purely a quest for pleasure without tenderness, without love, and any feeling that arises causes the relationship to be abandoned. For others, tenderness has its place (but not love) because it cements the BOND, that strong attachment, that submissive Master Read more…osmosis that many seek. There are those who reconcile and claim BDSM loves and make them official through BDSM marriages.
Submissives often come to BDSM for several reasons:
They think they'll find pleasure, pure, intense sex with no strings attached.
They're looking for a totally fusional relationship between master and submissive.
They want to let go, to abandon themselves, sometimes to be someone else.
Some are looking for structure, elevation, to acquire new skills and knowledge, to get out of their environment...
Some want a deep attachment without the torments and complications of love.
Others want something simple, healthy, with clear rules, sexual and emotional intensity and fulfillment, and will see how it evolves.
There are as many motivations for Bdsm as there are Submissives and Masters.
But there are some constants that we'll go over.
Self-control
BDSM, the DS relationship, is based on self-control. BDSM is pleasure, passion and thrills. We experience sexual impulses of fabulous strength and intensity. Emotions run high. As a result, some people associate the strength of what they feel with love. But in the majority of cases, it's not. It's about the mysterious, indefinable LINK that so strongly unites Master and submissive. BDSM has its own rules and protocols to keep you under control and avoid the vanilla love spills that often spell the end of the BDSM relationship.
A parallel world
When you become a submissive, you become a different person.
You secretly transgress sexual and behavioral taboos.
You obey codes and rules that, in this age of gender equality and feminism, are no longer accepted, and you take pleasure in it! We engage in sexual practices that are often intense, even extreme, and poorly perceived by the right-minded. We free ourselves from our family, social class, prejudices and taboos, and become someone else. That other person wearing a collar, like a pet, like a slave, is not you, not the person your relatives know. You with another name, your submissive name, wearing sexy outfits and living your passion for BDSM in a parallel world often unknown to your loved ones.
THE LINK
The Dominant is going through the same process. Given the charisma and the strength of the emotions felt during the various sexual games and Bdsm, an attachment is created. This attachment is what we call the bond. This bond enables the submissive to feed off the Master's strength and power, and to grow in confidence. It is characterized by trust, respect, tenderness and belonging. The submissive gives herself with no expectations other than to satisfy her lord and master. Moral issues and social etiquette fall by the wayside, and nothing else matters except the will to be his, the joy and happiness of being his thing. For the Master, it's a huge responsibility to offer a Bdsm universe in keeping with the imagination of his submissive, which he must nourish and constantly renew with patience and skill. Seeing his submissive blossom little by little, making her happier and more independent, asserting herself in her everyday life, is a pleasure and a priceless satisfaction for the Master.
Dominant and Submissive cannot exist without each other. Without this synergy, this harmony that could resemble perfect love.
The strength of the bond is considerable. The submissive will experience the strongest pleasures of her life, discovering subspace and infinite ecstasies. A good Master's charisma and magnetism can sometimes trigger repeated orgasms with a glance, a gesture, a finger that barely grazes the vulva, making her a fountain...
Breaking the bond
When the bond is broken, whether by the Master or the submissive, the void is immense. It's an immutable law that everyone can regain their freedom at any time. I disagree. The submissive's gift is so great and so strong that a Master must not break it unless the submissive is guilty of serious misconduct. On the other hand, the submissive must be able to keep this privilege at all times.
Master's ethics:
The submissive is free to leave at any time. If she leaves, the fault lies with the Master, who must take responsibility for her failure to satisfy him.
The Master cannot break his commitments unless the submissive commits a serious fault. The Master must be reliable, always present and available to the submissive who gives herself entirely to him.
To have given everything to the other, to have experienced moments of an intensity and strength unknown before, the greatest pleasures of one's existence, to have surfed on subspace or immersed oneself in it with delight and suddenly, nothing! It's a shock that's hard to overcome for the partner who didn't choose the often brutal end to the relationship. You feel betrayed, abandoned... and this can lead to deep depression.
The submissive is particularly vulnerable to this, as the Master often has several submissives and leaves his submissive for another out of weariness, because she's prettier, younger, more liberated... whereas the submissive has given herself totally to one Master and rarely leaves him for another.
There are often warning signs that the bond is breaking. Fewer meetings, reproaches...
Is the bond love?
Bdsm obeys rules and rituals, and as long as these are respected, as long as everyone plays their part, the bond remains active and powerful. Everything is done in BDSM to ensure that it's strong and intense, without going through the pangs of love in the event of separation. Everyone plays a role, everyone is someone else. The person you're going to become attached to is a secret person who doesn't exist in the ordinary world. Loving your submissive or loving your Master is like loving Superman. Superman has two personalities, two faces, two lives. And while Superman can be a fascinating character, Clark, the reporter, is less glamorous. Loving Superman and finding yourself in Clark's arms can be quite a shock!
It all depends on the personality of the submissive Master couple and the dynamic they've established.
As soon as one or the other questions the Bdsm relationship, talking about vanilla love, the strength of the bond will fade, the relationship will become banal and will disappear with heart wounds for at least one of the two and sometimes for both.
Tenderness in DS
How can you not feel tenderness for a partner who gives you everything?
Tenderness is a form of affection, sensitivity and benevolent consideration towards another person, without the element of constraint that passion or desire could create.
Source: Wikipedia
It's a good idea to show tenderness to strengthen the bond, during the session, and afterwards during a tenderness break to evacuate the excess of emotions experienced. A DS relationship without tenderness
DS couple, ideal couple?
In a balanced DS relationship, the quest for perfection FOR THE OTHER is mutual.
Both partners are transcended by their desire to give everything to the other.
As long as the values that make the submissive an exceptional loving being, such as attachment and self-giving, the desire to please and to please others, accompanied by the feeling of happiness that this brings, are present in the relationship, all is well (with the same approach for the master, of course).
If the bdsm stops, if the dog loses its values and libido, the relationship often ceases.
It's a constant effort to reinvent oneself and satisfy the other person. With a BDSM framework, you can enjoy a very long, perfect and harmonious relationship, free from the hazards of ordinary relationships and far more intense and respectful.
Did you say love?
Big debate... I'll let you be the judge.
On a specialized website, the 5 criteria of true love:
Finding the other person mysterious
Being afraid of losing them
Agreeing to commit to the unknown
Feeling desire
In BDSM, love is a trap, because the person you're going to love doesn't exist in real life. The person only exists as long as the BDSM bond lasts. If the bond ceases, the relationship will deteriorate, as expectations will no longer be met for either partner.
Two immutable rules to respect:
The end of the BDSM relationship marks the end of the entire relationship.
A finished relationship never starts again.
Respecting these two rules will save you a lot of suffering...
They must be clearly stated at the start of the relationship.
what do you think 🤔🤔
The exception to this is BDSM love, a true and rare love that can break free from these two rules. I know married couples who live this rare love.
Feeling you exist
DenverKitten I don’t find myself as a different person as a submissive than who I am. Rather, I find myself as a truer version of myself. Also, I find it odd that people feel love and BDSM can’t coexist. I find it hard to believe that a relationship full of honest, emotion, and communication negates love. I don’t find myself as a different person as a submissive than who I am. Rather, I find myself as a truer version of myself. Also, I find it odd that people feel love and BDSM can’t coexist. I find it hard to believe that a relationship full of honest, emotion, and communication negates love.
LikeDopeyDom, Exodus, GreenEyes_
24.11.2023 18:38:55
eyemblacksheep there's a lot here which is overly romanticised.
And also BDSM does not necessarily equate to DS
DS is a facet of BDSM - but a DS relationship is one thing and a BDSM relationship can be a number of things. People keep defaulting everything to DS when this is not the reality. there's a lot here which is overly romanticised.
And also BDSM does not necessarily equate to DS
DS is a facet of BDSM - but a DS relationship is one thing and a BDSM relationship can be a number of things. People keep defaulting everything to DS when this is not the reality.
And also BDSM does not necessarily equate to DS
DS is a facet of BDSM - but a DS relationship is one thing and a BDSM relationship can be a number of things. People keep defaulting everything to DS when this is not the reality. there's a lot here which is overly romanticised.
And also BDSM does not necessarily equate to DS
DS is a facet of BDSM - but a DS relationship is one thing and a BDSM relationship can be a number of things. People keep defaulting everything to DS when this is not the reality.
LikeMaster6, CopperKnob, Msfergz
· 21.11.2023 9:03:57
Kimber469ing I really enjoyed reading this. It was very helpful and and it answered a lot of questions. I’ve been asking people and not getting an answer. I’m going to read it again. I’ll probably be like the other person that commented and read it more than twice to just so I can retain all the information Read more… there was a lot of good information in there, I am going to write some of it down in my notebook that I keep so that I can remember it. I knew it this lifestyle but I take it very seriously and I want to learn it right I don’t want to screw it up and be let down, or let someone else down, it’s very important to me to do this. The correct way. Thank you for writing this. I appreciate it very much.
LikeMaster6
· 21.11.2023 4:45:24
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3 of 7
I'm going to be quite cash because I excel more in the whip than in the pen.
If you are looking for a master to help you flourish sexually and humanly, my ad is clearly not for you because in my eyes you are toys or even tools.
If pain is not your thing then I invite you to flee, from my Read more… point of view humans only learn from pain and I like to distribute it in abundance.
I am looking for an obedient human body.
Nothing to worry about in your opinion or what you dare to desire.
I would train you to be what I want, a good maid who does housework, the worst slut to be thrown into a gangbang or a whore in the woods, forget your existence because if you are ready to give yourself over body and soul I would take everything.
Your age, physique or other bullshit I don't care as long as you obey and here is your first order respond to this ad ready to serve
If you are looking for a master to help you flourish sexually and humanly, my ad is clearly not for you because in my eyes you are toys or even tools.
If pain is not your thing then I invite you to flee, from my Read more… point of view humans only learn from pain and I like to distribute it in abundance.
I am looking for an obedient human body.
Nothing to worry about in your opinion or what you dare to desire.
I would train you to be what I want, a good maid who does housework, the worst slut to be thrown into a gangbang or a whore in the woods, forget your existence because if you are ready to give yourself over body and soul I would take everything.
Your age, physique or other bullshit I don't care as long as you obey and here is your first order respond to this ad ready to serve
I am looking for a new sow to educate and work with.You know you have deviant urges and needs, that you need a firm hand to put you in your place without mercy. I will reduce you to the state of a vulgar object without choice. You will be my empty sow and you will indulge in depravity.On a daily Read more…
basis you will be secretly depraved and used, dehumanized and trained to enjoy humiliation.In public you will be able to remain respectable or not, according to what we will decide initially.Respect of the anonymity
I am looking for a new sow to educate and work with.
You know you have deviant urges and needs, that you need a firm hand to put you in your place without mercy. I will reduce you to the state of a vulgar object without choice. You will be my empty sow and you will indulge in depravity.
On a daily Read more… basis you will be secretly depraved and used, dehumanized and trained to enjoy humiliation.
In public you will be able to remain respectable or not, according to what we will decide initially.
Respect of the anonymity
You know you have deviant urges and needs, that you need a firm hand to put you in your place without mercy. I will reduce you to the state of a vulgar object without choice. You will be my empty sow and you will indulge in depravity.
On a daily Read more… basis you will be secretly depraved and used, dehumanized and trained to enjoy humiliation.
In public you will be able to remain respectable or not, according to what we will decide initially.
Respect of the anonymity