New to this. How do I know what I like?

[Deleted Member]

I'm not experienced at all with kink/fetish. How do I learn what I do and don't like? How do I experiment without just having sex with tons of people?
Just wonder what advice you can give.

[go****]

Start looking into different fetishes and kinks and then start looking for partners with similar kink interests or ideas. You’ll figure it out. Be respectful and have fun.

[LadyRenee]

Find a munch in your area and get to know people IRL.

[Qu****]

Find your local community. Many dungeons will do tastings of different forms of play. If your dungeon rotates the tastings, feel free to do them multiple times with the different tasters because everyone's style will be different.

[SS****]

Idk if this will help; what I started doing initially is looking up kinks online, reading about the different ones that show up when you Google "What are the most common kinks?" Then follow the rabbit holes! ☺️ I also started looking around YouTube for kink/sex positive channels, one of my favorites is Watts the Safeword. I just signed up for a couple of apps with a kink positive community. Networking is a great way to have conversations with others to ask your questions, and answer theirs to help you navigate. Random sex with strangers isn't the only way to safely explore, and meet awesome new friends along the way.

[Gr****]

A lot of people in my local kink community were influenced by media: what characters got tied up or did the tying, how Catwoman or Emma ***l looked in their skintight outfits, etc., or thought back to how they played with their early ***rs and what they enjoyed most about it.
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Some people do research to find out if there’s kinky terminology for elements of their favorite fantasies or erotica.
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Looking at your profile, I can’t tell if you’d love role-play scenes or if you have enough theatrics in your life that merging that with kink would be too much.
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We can just start with, “What thoughts brought you to a fetish site?”

[Pe****]

You could try out the online community.
fetlife
.com
It has a list that covers pretty much all basic kinks as part of their profile setup and groups devoted to discussing just about everything there is. It's also frequently used by local groups, so it could potentially connect you with munches.

[VinceF1958]

If you talk to people and get them to fill in the kinks list you'll soon find compatible people. You might not find everything on one person but you won't need to fuck the whole site

[Ar****]

First step is education/learning.

Kink/fetish and sex are not the same; there are obviously crossovers especially with some particular activities, but a huge amount of kinky activity does not - and should not - involve having sex at all.

[sa****]

Why would you want to be experienced with kink/fetish? There is absolutely no need to. If you desire something, the big question is, if you have a partner you can talk to about it. Or you have a partner and feel that some spice would be a plus, then talk about it. Or you have a desire, and no partner (you can talk with), then talk about it in this forum (potentially in a new thread), or try to find someone.
Explore what you want, but the notion of wanting to explore stuff, just because it is kinky appears to me as a strange order of things.

[sa****]

But by all means, looking at your profile, roleplay appears to be a relatively close option. But the tag, again, says nothing. You could enjoy being a ***ing pirate, or the insecure student, the victorian times courtier who tries to navigate hints thar are and are not obvious, or just yourself, but somehow in a different life. Whatever rocks your boat.

[Deleted Member]

Cool

[ey****]

I think one of the problems with "having sex with a lot of people" is folk tend not to be used as someone's experiment - so largely chalk that idea out

Like, within kink there probably will be stuff you maybe try one day you enjoy more than you thought you might - but that's not the starting point.

The starting point is a little... so what interests you? I mean, you're on a kink site so they must be something that brought you here? There must be some idea in your head? You must have some form of early thought on what "kink" is?

There must be something you like the idea of - even if you don't know if you'll like it or not - and that's the starting point

 

Of course then the question is... how to start, how to try it? This is something were a lot of couples possibly explore together, but if you don't have a partner that may well be a little trickier.  However, if you partake in local community it's easier to make friends and, maybe, there's someone who will help you try things - cos then they're not an experiment, they're playing with a friend. 

[ne****]

I've bought toys, and tools and played with myself. Learned a lot about myself and the level of ***/pleasure I like at my own hands. Read books, listened to domme and sub podcasts, read articles, and written down scenes and punishments that turn me on. Let your mind go and write it down in there you might find a direction. Are you more tool and toy oriented or do you want submersion with roll play/cos play/slave/little play? Are you a group person or solo....in your mind you will have the ideas...as for the tool/toys start shopping and play.

[Wi****]

20 hours ago, LadyRenee said:

Find a munch in your area and get to know people IRL.

I agree with Renee. Go to local munches and introduce yourself and let people know that you are new.
Getting invited to events by folks at these munches will open up the doors to things like demonstrations and educational events.
Don't rush into something you don't understand. There will be lots of support.
Also, there's a whole world of difference between online and real life.

Regardless of how you approach things, be safe and consensual.

[Si****]

With most things, you know inside what makes you go ooowww. Not all play has to involve sex. Ive had subs where play never involved sex. Perhaps find other like minded people to chat with who can help answer any questions you have or find a mentor who will guide you with tasks such as giving you things to learn about and then probe them for any answers that come up.

[la****]

Do some internet research:))