Learning to believe in self again

[Ch****]

Currently recovering from an 8 year depression, and I’d say start with the little things - e.g. if you like your hair a certain way, do it like that every day. Create little rituals for yourself that you value, this makes things more comfortable even if it’s just a little bit ! It’s a good place to start anyways - hope it gets better :)

[pa****]

I think you can have all the boundaries and red flags lists in the world but people can act like anything until you are in a play space with them. This is not your fault.

I know as a submissive I'm *** but I need to be *** to a certain extent to play.

I find it really important to spend time processing. What happened? How did I feel about it? Why do I think they acted that way? How does my little feel about it compared to my adult self? Are there patterns?

For example I have a history of choosing men who want a sub but also want that sub to look after them. I don't want to do that anymore. It's freeing to see the patterns and understand why they happen.

I have a history of *** as a child which made me very strong and I over achieve. So men choose me who want me to look after them so they can coast and I drown in responsibility.

Now I know this I can make better decisions and I see people more clearly. For example Dom's who want to tell me all their health problems and all about their kids when they barely know me are probably looking for someone to look after them.

I can do better.

The more experience you have the more data your brain has to correlate into analysis of patterns which enables you to see more clearly.

But it's not your fault. Take some time to do things you enjoy. One day you will feel like trusting again but take it real slow. The right person won't mind. Take notice of the universe and try to accept things, for example a job loss might lead to a way better job, so while scary at the time can lead to better things.

I have a dog and I like to take her for walks in the wetlands. It makes me so happy and I can be my real self. What are some things you could do that make you happy and make you feel like you can be totally you?


What parts of you need to be seen? Are you a hippy or a little or whatever? The right people should be able to see you.

Good luck soldier. You are strong. That's obvious because you are trying to heal and grow. Loads of people don't do that and their minds get all twisted. You will be okay

[ge****]

Every morning look on the mirror and praise and comment something positive to yourself and do something positive on a daily basis like nails done fix hair or whatever that makes you happy and smile to yourself and keep negative people out of your life friends need to be positive and say nice things towards you on daily basis and if you ever wanna just chat about normal things a lot of us are here for that with no judgmental atmosphere ! Have a blessed beautiful day and shine with that smile

[Deleted Member]

So far this is my favorite part of this app. I've been out of pretty tough relationships . Where my partner had an undiagnosed personality disorder and depression. And all that other stuff that pretty much end up hurting him, me , his family. I have days where I don't want to look at myself in the mirror and I think that I don't deserve to make connections with anyone. I am literally scared to try to connect, I assume they will reject me. But Ive been trying to find things that my ex partner use to criticize and I say out loud. I'm doing this because it makes me( insert emotion) and I remind myself that some things were coping mechanisms and other things were actual activities that I used to enjoy and that my ex partner took the joy out of. I just wanted to share a little about myself I hope that you know that you're amazing you know that you deserve peace and love and joy and all those positive things that we all sometimes forget that we are

[un****]

The quickest and most rewarding way to heal/ whatever you want to call it is burn the boats the bridges the shelters go into the wilderness just you and God

[Ba****]

7 hours ago, untoldhunter said:

The quickest and most rewarding way to heal/ whatever you want to call it is burn the boats the bridges the shelters go into the wilderness just you and God

Right, why limit yourself to being destructive when you can be pollution as well, great
Whether you are a religious person or not, you should understand that if god tells you things you didn’t already “believe” then you have a problem that needs professional attention and most people who go into the actual wilderness alone are not going to need it for long

[ne****]

You gotta find your people. Who loves you? Who likes you? Start from there spend more time with those people first.

[12****]

Take time chatting, ask hard questions, at some point you will have to trust a little

[si****]

HUGS. Willing to listen. Trust is needed to start, feel safe, progress with anything. Sorry you felt disrespected. HUGS. MUTUAL RESPECT is the foundation. It will take time to rebuild confidence, feel safe again, and feel comfort. and find enjoyment again. Been there, but I want ALL again - Trust, feel safe, feel wanted, want to give, HUGS

[wp****]

definitely take baby steps first. Be safe. Meet people in safe public places first. Build trust regardless whether it is NSA, FWB, ONS or LTR. set limits

[Deleted Member]

I learned to be emotional intelligence and love myself, I have strong mind and I protect people who I love, you are beautiful as you are you just have to see it. No matter what people say be yourself that's confidence. Be careful who you truth trust, if you get hurt you always stand up. This is me - Greatest Showmen "When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown 'em out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me".

[si****]

This was not your fault.the only thing you did wrong was this: When they blew past your "No" response, even after talking about it, your immediate response should have been full stop, we're done. I as a dom have to trust you to know your limits and you have to trust me to honor them. We can push those limit but only after we both talk about it and agree.

[Go****]

Learn g how to trust others? Couldn’t tell you…

But regaining self confidence I’d say is easy enough: read books, get outside on the sun, exercise, find same way to help less fortunate people, write a list of your positive characteristics (and even go as far to think of professionals who do those things go for *** and do the math on how much they make). Drink lots of water, eat healthy food, get more exercise, visit with friends who uplift you, spend time in the forest, spend time with ***s, listen to music that makes you feel happy, make some art or express yourself in some way.

Trusting people often goes wrong, at least in my experience, because people mess up.

Don’t *** yourself to be intimate with anyone if you’re not feeling it, remember how you love yourself and do things that rebuild your love and trust for yourself first.

That’s a thing,
We can lose trust in ourselves too,
And that’s a slippery slope.

Just take it slow, take care of YOU and in time you’ll heal and maybe be ready to explore with others, but don’t push that.

Sending love and prayers your way ❤️