Boundaries

[Deleted Member]

I recently deleted an account due to my sub feeling a boundary has been crossed. She wasn’t happy with an unsolicited image sent viva message. I replied to the message by explaining the situation.

I’m a strong believer that the sub holds all the power within the dynamic. So I deleted the account. As a Dom was this wrong of me or should I have discussed the issue deeper.

My reasons for the deleting the account was to maintain trust within the dynamic?

[ki****]

Cahnge the sub.

[no****]

You’re either a sub or a pet. Maybe just a cuck

[Su****]

Your sub is feeling *** for some reason. If they have no need to be then just change your settings so no unsolicited images can be sent. But tbh if you are both on here then you will be exposed to images and content. Discuss why you are here and if you cannot agree to boundaries set by both of you. Then either leave here or leave the sub. The only options really other than agreed boundaries

[we****]

You sent her a pic without here consent what crossed her boundary?
Talk to her, if she want to continue the dynamics - renegotiate the boundaries, don't break them again. This is the right way to do.
If she or/and you don't want to continue the dynamic - go separate paths.

[Ru****]

Being dominant doesn't mean to ignore the subs boundaries and feelings - quite the opposite actually.

And I can understand your view as I would agree on it that a dom is basically enabled by her/his sub - and without her/his consent a dom is just a n empty word/vessel without meaning.

So, if this is necessary to keep the trust, it was a valid choice.

The thing is though, discussions, explanations, justification and excuses are not always the best way to stay on top.

[Deleted Member]

You are confusing your crime.
You describe the picture as being unsolicited.

More information is needed.

1. Did you take the photo without consent? YTA.

2. Or did you share it with someone not asking for images from you- YTA

3. I’m with the others. You inner voice isn’t appearing confident.

4. If in doubt discussion is always best. You have to understand the root cause of the issue before you can resolve anything.

That’s is why your solution of deleting the profile and returning isn’t surprising.

[Deleted Member]

6 minutes ago, welka said:

You sent her a pic without here consent what crossed her boundary?
Talk to her, if she want to continue the dynamics - renegotiate the boundaries, don't break them again. This is the right way to do.
If she or/and you don't want to continue the dynamic - go separate paths.

I never send unsolicited images, but I did receive one from a woman, which made my sub feel uncomfortable.

Boundaries are important.

Sometimes my ego pops his head up and I feel aggravated at what’s asked of me. As a Dom I feel I should be heard and obeyed. But Respect and trust go along when especially when my sub feels safe and secure within the dynamic.

This is a me issue not an attack on my dominance but an assertive response to stand firm within the boundaries of my dynamic.

[we****]

2 minutes ago, Rigger-Dom said:

I never send unsolicited images, but I did receive one from a woman, which made my sub feel uncomfortable.

Boundaries are important.

Sometimes my ego pops his head up and I feel aggravated at what’s asked of me. As a Dom I feel I should be heard and obeyed. But Respect and trust go along when especially when my sub feels safe and secure within the dynamic.

This is a me issue not an attack on my dominance but an assertive response to stand firm within the boundaries of my dynamic.

Oh, sorry for me missundarstanding.

I don't think asap deleting the progile is the good solution.
You may be a Dom/sub in the dynamic, but you should be able to talk as equals as well. So talk, find out what worries are there on both sides and how they can be handled

[Deleted Member]

26 minutes ago, north-palm-beach577 said:

You’re either a sub or a pet. Maybe just a cuck

I stand firm in my masculinity! I know who I am and what I’m capable of. I don’t seek validation. At times my ego tests me but I am the master of my destiny. I know what I want from life. The road hard and challenging but if I stay on course I will succeed.

[Su****]

4 minutes ago, Rigger-Dom said:

I never send unsolicited images, but I did receive one from a woman, which made my sub feel uncomfortable.

Boundaries are important.

Sometimes my ego pops his head up and I feel aggravated at what’s asked of me. As a Dom I feel I should be heard and obeyed. But Respect and trust go along when especially when my sub feels safe and secure within the dynamic.

This is a me issue not an attack on my dominance but an assertive response to stand firm within the boundaries of my dynamic.

But what about her boundaries? They must be taken into account or you are not a Dom just a bully. Big Difference

[Deleted Member]

34 minutes ago, kinkysense said:

Cahnge the sub.

To change the sub would be to admit defeat! Not every challenge is easy. Sometimes patience is needed to overcome the challenges.

[Deleted Member]

17 minutes ago, SubBella666 said:

Your sub is feeling *** for some reason. If they have no need to be then just change your settings so no unsolicited images can be sent. But tbh if you are both on here then you will be exposed to images and content. Discuss why you are here and if you cannot agree to boundaries set by both of you. Then either leave here or leave the sub. The only options really other than agreed boundaries

Thank you SubBella666, you’re very insightful.

[Deleted Member]

7 minutes ago, SubBella666 said:

But what about her boundaries? They must be taken into account or you are not a Dom just a bully. Big Difference

Literally someone randomly messaged me and added nudes in the message. It’s that simple. It was unsolicited and took her by surprise.

[Si****]

Clearly you’re not a dom ..it’s your job to provide wisdom and guidance..you acted like a brat

[Deleted Member]

22 minutes ago, voiceofgod said:

You are confusing your crime.
You describe the picture as being unsolicited.

More information is needed.

1. Did you take the photo without consent? YTA.

2. Or did you share it with someone not asking for images from you- YTA

3. I’m with the others. You inner voice isn’t appearing confident.

4. If in doubt discussion is always best. You have to understand the root cause of the issue before you can resolve anything.

That’s is why your solution of deleting the profile and returning isn’t surprising.

My post must be confusing, somebody messaged me and after sending several written messages they also sent nude images.

My partner was surprised and it made her feel uncomfortable. So she asked me to delete the account. Which I did. We discussed it and now she’s happy for me to continue.


I don’t send unsolicited images and I would never send or use images of my partner without her consent. That’s against the law in the UK.

[Sm****]

She’s a sub she has no say

[Ri****]

It sounds like she thought the relationship was more exclusive than you did. That's definitely something that should have been discussed.

[Deleted Member]

39 minutes ago, SubBella666 said:

But what about her boundaries? They must be taken into account or you are not a Dom just a bully. Big Difference

Our boundary was for me not to communicate with submissive women through dm’s.

I’m not a bully and I’m transparent. I don’t have secrets. I give her access to all communication

[Da****]

It’s sounds like your consent was violated if you were sent an unsolicited explicit photo you didn’t ask to receive. The person you were talking to should have been called into question and told they violated your consent. Just because you are a man does not make it ok for a woman to send you nude or explicit photos without your permission.

That being said, you were not wrong to delete the account. It builds trust with the relationship you value the most. It caused your submissive distress so you took that distress away. That shows care.

I would say there is also an opportunity for growth for her to understand the trust you placed in her by being honest and open with her about the situation. Perhaps the person in question that violated consent could have been blocked and you could have stayed on the platform to enjoy continued activity with other individuals.

We sometimes have to work through jealousy as it stems from our own insecurities when there is open and honest communication as it appears to be in this situation. What upset her about this situation? What is she afraid is going to take away from her relationship with you? These are the insecurities that need to be addressed.

I’m not a professional but these are just the thoughts that pop into my head.

[Ll****]

You both need to switch you be the sub and she the Dom

[Su****]

50 minutes ago, Rigger-Dom said:

Our boundary was for me not to communicate with submissive women through dm’s.

I’m not a bully and I’m transparent. I don’t have secrets. I give her access to all communication

I don't understand your op then. What are you asking?

[Ri****]

1 minute ago, SubBella666 said:

I don't understand your op then. What are you asking?

I believe he has a physical dynamic with a sub, but was permitted to talk to other subs online. One of the others sent him a nude, the physical sub got jealous and made him delete the account. Now he misses the digital sub and wonders if he made a mistake.

[Ni****]

...seems like you need to train your Sub better.

[ko****]

Pushing boundaries and testing the waters vs breaking boundaries and potentially losing a partner. But then again everyone has an opinion! Exclamation